We Keep Loving Anyway
by DearPeggySchuyler
Summary: Sebastian and Rachel have known each other since they were kids, and are best friend since. After all these years, despite their differences, they have maintained their friendship. But Senior Year is arriving, and with it, new loves, old friends and challenges. Glee Alternate Universe with Sebchel/Smytheberry (Sebastian and Rachel)
1. The Start Of A New Year

**A.N./ Hello! This is my new fanfic and before starting I wanted to say a few things about the story and about me :**

 **\- This is going to be an Alternate Universe, which means that there will be the same characters, but the events that will happen and that happened in the past are different.**

 **\- Also, since it's an Alternate Universe, the characters may seem different from who they are in the series. It is normal, they haven't live the same things or hung around the same people as the characters in Glee.**

 **\- The main characters are Sebastian and Rachel, and the main ship is Smytheberry/Sebchel**

 **\- The first chapter will be from Rachel's point of view, the second one from Sebastian point of view, the third one from Rachel's point of view, etc...**

 **\- Also, I use "OooO" to separate parts of my chapters, so don't worry, it's not a person screaming.**

 **\- I am French, and therefore English isn't my first language. So I apologize for the many mistakes you're probably going to see if you read this story. If you see a mistake or think "this is not how it's supposed to be written", you can tell me by reviewing.**

 **\- If you read this story, thank you! I started writing not so long ago and I love it so it's really cool to know that people are reading my work! Also if you want to review, feel free, I accept gladly constructive criticism and I would love to see what you think about it.**

 **Anyway... Let's get to it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

Rachel walked down the hallway to the school's administration. It was the first day of her Senior year, and Rachel knew it, it was going to be her year. She was going to work even more so than she used to, obtain a high score on her SAT, be valedictorian of her graduating class and pass her audition for NYADA, the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts.

After that, she would graduate from NYADA and start auditioning then get into an Off-Broadway show. Then she would get into a Broadway show and be nominated for a Tony Award. It was the perfect plan for the perfect future. She had dreamed about being on a Broadway stage since she was a child and nothing would stop her. This was her dream and she would do anything to achieve it.

Rachel arrived at the administration and said hello to the lady sat at the office who then gave her her locker's number and code. She then went to her locker and opened it, staring at the empty locker. Yeah, it definitely felt... empty. She was going to decorate it later. Probably with a few pictures of Barbra Streisand, some playbills and a customized planning. But first of all, she dropped all the School books she had took in the library.

"Rachel Berry, ready for this first day as I can see." She heard a voice next to her.

"Hi Seb." Rachel said, turning to face her best friend who was leaning against the lockers.

Rachel and Sebastian were best friends since they were four years old. It was actually a miracle they were still friends because they had nothing in common. But after all this time, they were kind of like family. They didn't spend every day together, but they needed each other in a way. And even if sometimes Rachel wanted to hate Sebastian, well, she loved him. He was one of the most important person in her life.

"So what's your plan for this year. Wait, let me guess... You're going to work, and work, and then sing and dance and go back to work." He said with a smirk.

"And you're probably going to try and sleep with as many people as you can." Rachel snapped.

"I hadn't thought about that, but actually, that might me a good goal to achieve this year." He said as Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I don't know why I'm still friend with you." Rachel said.

"Because you love me." Sebastian said with a smirk.

"That's the thing. I love you, but I can't find any _rational_ reason why." She added.

"The feeling is mutual. You know, you would thought that after all this years, I would be disgusted by you, but every time I see you and think that I never want to see you again, I also think 'nah, I love that girl'. And I would miss you too much anyway, for some reason." He said.

"Wow, thank you for those kind words Sebastian." Rachel said ironically.

"Your welcome." He said with a bow. "Well, I gotta go, see you later. Maybe." Sebastian said.

"Bye Seb." Rachel said as her friend left.

Rachel closed her locker and walked to her first class. She was determined as ever for this year.

OooO

Lunch time came and Rachel headed towards the cafeteria. She walked in the cafeteria with her trail in her hands, looking for her friends. When she spotted them, she walked up to their table.

"Hi, Rachel." Kurt said.

"Hi guys." She said as she sat down.

"Hey, what's up?" Mercedes asked.

"Well, so far nothing too crazy happened." Rachel simply answered.

"Girls, I tell you, this is going to be the most important year of High School." Kurt said excitingly. "The year we will think about when we're old and we see a picture reminding us of our youth."

"This is just Senior year, Kurt." Mercedes said.

"Exactly. This is _Senior year_. We'll go to our last prom, our last choir competitions, our last parties, even if we're probably not going to be invited to them." Kurt explained. "And let's not forget that Rachel and I will be auditioning for NYADA, this will be the first step to seeing our names with shining letters on a Broadway theatre."

"My god, Kurt you are so excited when you talk about your studies." Mercedes said with a laugh.

"Of course I am, I need a proper training in order to be a performer." He answered.

"I don't even want to study after High School. I will do it only because my mom wants me to. But after that, I will really work on my music and one day, a producer will see me and say 'I see a bright future ahead of you' and that will be the first step to see _my_ name with shining letters on a concert venue." Mercedes said.

Rachel smiled as Mercedes and Kurt were talking so happily about their respective futures. It was so crazy to realize that in a year, they would leave this High School. It was where they had met, with the Glee Club, although they weren't friend at that moment, more rivals than anything. But they had discovered they so much in common, they all wanted to shine.

"Seriously, this year will be our year in every domain," Kurt said, "even in love. I want a boyfriend, that's for sure. Mercedes broke up with Sam so maybe this year she'll meet a cute guy. And who knows, maybe this year Finn will finally notice Rachel."

Rachel blushed as she heard Finn's name. She had had a crush on Finn Hudson since freshman year. He was a quarterback in the High School football's team, and one of the most popular guy in the school, so he was way out of Rachel's league. But even if he hadn't been out of her league, he had a girlfriend anyway. A girlfriend who happened to be Quinn Fabray, captain of the Cheerleading squad and the wickedest girl Rachel had ever met. She was the Regina George and the Heather Chandler of the High School. It's not that Rachel hated her for dating Finn, she hated her for being the worst person she knew.

"It's been three years, it's not going to happen, Kurt." She answered.

"Don't be pessimistic, you never know." He said.

As much as she would love Finn to notice her, she was realistic. It wasn't going to happen. In High School she was categorized as a loser. The only times she saw Finn, outside of classes, was in the Glee Club. And even in the Glee Club, she was this loud, annoying Jewish girl. But maybe Kurt was right. It would probably not happen, but there was still a chance.

"Yeah, you never know..." She said.

OooO

"Para mañana teneís que hacer el retrato de una persona que vos inspira. Vale?" Said Mrs Summer.

"Vale." The class answered, as well as Rachel, who knew she was going to choose Barbra Streisand for this homework.

But who could blame her? The teacher had asked to write a portrait about someone who inspired her, and Barbra Streisand was definitely the person who inspired Rachel the most. One of the most talented performer ever, an actress, singer, producer, director, writer, composer, designer, photographer, _and_ an activist. And in a business largely dominated by men! Barbra was and would always be Rachel's role model.

Rachel put her stuff in her bag and waited for Kurt who was asking a question to the Spanish teacher. He then joined Rachel and the two friends got out of the classroom.

"Finally, our last class before the Glee Club." Kurt said, sighing.

"It's our first lesson today! I'm so excited!" Rachel said, smiling.

"Me too!" Kurt said as they stopped at Rachel's locker.

"I just have to drop some books." She explained as she opened her backpack.

"Hey guys, ready?" Mercedes said as she joined Kurt and Rachel.

"Almost," Rachel said as she closed her locker, "and... we're all set. Let's go."

They didn't even made a single step before being face to face to three football players. The football players always took the Glee Club members as their target, and even if some football players like Finn, Noah or Mike had joined the Glee Club, they still thought the Glee Club members were losers, and treated them as such. So it wasn't anything new.

Dave Karofsky and Azimio Adams were standing in front of Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel. But there was also another football player, that Rachel had never met before. He was probably new in McKinley High School.

Rachel hated them. They always bullied the ones they considered as 'losers'. One of their favorite things to do was to pour a slushie on others.

"Well, well, well, look who's still a loser." Dave said.

"The fat girl, the annoying girl and the gay boy. What a _perfect_ trio." Azimio said.

Rachel rolled her eyes. They always had to insult them. But she didn't care, they probably had a complex of inferiority anyway.

"I heard you were the losers from the Glee Club, and they have a special treatment for you." The guy Rachel didn't know said, showing his slushie.

"Give us a break." Rachel said, starting to walk.

"Hey," the guy said as he put his hand to stop Rachel, "do you really think you're going to escape it?"

"Reggie, you shouldn't do that." Azimio said to the guy who was apparently named Reggie

"What? You told me that was what you did!" He responded.

"Yeah, but not to _her_." Dave said quietly.

"Why? Are you afraid of her or something?" He said, chuckling. "Well, I will have to do it by myself then." He said, rising the cup.

And that's at this precise moment that Sebastian threw Reggie against the lockers, his hand holding his shirt just under his chin as the slushie fell, spilling on the floor. Rachel hadn't even seen him coming.

"You're new here, so you probably don't know it yet. You can do whatever you want to those two," he said as he glanced toward Mercedes and Kurt, "but don't you _dare_ touch Rachel, or you'll regret it."

"Why, is she your girlfriend?" Reggie asked, laughing.

He didn't laugh for long, Sebastian chuckled and then kicked his crotch, and Reggie fell on the ground, seeming to be hurting a lot.

"Look who isn't laughing anymore." Sebastian said with a smirk.

He glanced towards Azimio and Dave who were just standing there since Sebastian had arrived. He glanced towards Azimio's cup and the jock gave him the cup. Sebastian smiled at Reggie who was still hurting on the floor and poured the slushie on Reggie's head.

"I hope you understood, but if you didn't, It will be my pleasure to explain it again." Sebastian said.

He shot a glance to Azimio and Dave and just left. The two jocks looked at each other, looked down on Reggie, then left, leaving the poor boy on the floor as he tried to get up. He finally managed to and left too.

"Wow, I can't believe we avoided being slushied." Kurt said.

"Still, it's not fair that Rachel has her own bodyguard." Mercedes.

"Oh, come on, he helped you out too." Rachel said.

"Didn't you heard him? He basically said 'I don't care about those two, you can throw them into the dumpster if you want to'." Mercedes said.

Rachel chuckled. It wasn't the first time that Sebastian saved Rachel form the bullies. When they had arrived in High School and the bullies had started picking on Rachel, Sebastian had told Rachel that he was going to protect her. And he had, it was sort of like a promise he had made to her. And she trusted him, she knew he would always be there for her.

He wasn't specially big or tall, but Sebastian definitely knew how to fight and every time a jock was picking on Rachel, Sebastian didn't hesitate to fight them, even if he ended up in the principal office afterwards. At least, now most of the football team members were scared of him and didn't approached her.

"Okay, maybe he doesn't really like you." Rachel said. "But you still benefit from the fact that he prevents the jocks from slushiing us."

Kurt shrugged.

"Anyway, let's go, we're going to miss the beginning of the lesson." Kurt said.

The three friends went to the classroom where the Glee Club took place. They entered and sat at their usual seats, in the front. Tina and Artie were already in the room and were talking to each other. As they waited for Mr Schuester and the other members of the club, Rachel took music sheets out of her backpack. Those were the songs she wanted to submit to Mr Schuester for this year's competitions. Last year, they had lost Regionals. But it was her last year in High School and she wanted them to win so bad, they had to.

A few minutes later, Finn arrived in the classroom, Quinn by his side. The cheerleader captain was perfect, as always. Her uniform suited her perfectly, showing her body but not to much, her high curled ponytail was bouncing as she walked, and she had barely any makeup on but she was still pretty. It wasn't surprising that Hudson had chosen her, why wouldn't he?

As they entered the room, she shot Rachel a nasty glance. Well, things didn't change. Rachel didn't respond, she was over this. But Finn gave her a little smile, and that made Rachel feel good. But she tried to forget it. He was nice to every one, it wasn't as if he was interested in her or something.

She sighted. He would never be interested in her, and she had come to accept it, but when he did things as little as smiling at her or holding the door for her, her heartbeat always sped up, she just couldn't help it.

And she knew it was useless, that Finn would never feel the same as she did, she didn't like when she saw Quinn holding Finn's hand, or whispering in his ear or kissing him. And she knew she had no right to be jealous, because she was nothing to him. And ever since Quinn had joined the Glee Club during the last year, she saw her with Finn even more so.

OooO

After the lesson, Rachel went home. There was no one home yet. Her dad was still at the library he worked at, and her mom was still working and would probably not be home before late in the evening.

Rachel filled a glass with a water and took it with her as she climbed the stairs. She went in her room and sat at her desk to start working. It was the first day and she didn't really had homework yet but she knew this year was going to be hard and she wanted to have the best GPA possible.

When she was finished, she came downstairs and put Funny Girl on the TV. She had already seen the movie a hundred times but it was always the right thing to watch when she needed motivation. And motivation was the thing she needed as it was the first day of school.

When her dad came back home she took her phone and saw that it was only 6 pm.

"Hi, dad!" She said.

"Hi, honey!" Her father, Hiram Berry told her.

"I thought you were coming later." She said.

"Bob takes his shift later now." He answered. "Did you have a good first day?"

"Yes. I think it's also going to be a good year." She answered.

Her dad smiled at her. "Of course." He said.

Rachel loved her dad more than anything. He was her number one fan and supported her more than anyone. She knew that if she had a problem, she could go and talk to him.

Hiram cooked the dinner as Rachel set the table. When she was finished she sat down and her dad and her talked until he finished cooking.

When her mother came back, it was already 10pm and Hiram and Rachel had already eaten. It wasn't even surprising, Shelby Corcoran Berry was a very busy woman. She worked in a successful firm as a lawyer and won a lot of cases. But to be honest, she wasn't home very much.

Shelby took her coat off and dropped her suitcase on the sofa.

"You're home late." Hiram said.

"I had a lot of work to do." Shelby explained.

"As always." Hiram said.

"We're actually on a big case right now, so yeah, I have to stay late because I want to win it, it's important. I'm sorry if you don't understand because you work in a library." Shelby said.

"What, are you saying that my job is less important than yours?" Hiram asked.

"That's not what I said. But let's be honest, sorting books isn't the hardest thing to do." Shelby answered.

"Excuse me? Why do you always have to drag my job down?" Hiram asked.

"Well, if you would just try understand the sacrifices and the hard work that are needed in my profession maybe I wouldn't have to compare." Shelby said, the volume of her voice higher.

"You're always like that!" Hiram said.

Rachel decided that she had heard enough. She climbed the stairs and went into her bedroom, sitting on her bed.

It was always like that. Almost every night, her parents would fight, and it could last for hours. Sometimes it was about unimportant things, and other times they were purposely hurting each other. It wasn't like that, a few years ago, but since a year or so, it had been worst than ever. Sometimes, Rachel would just go in her room and put her headphones on to try not to ear them. Once, one of their argument had gone so bad that Rachel's mother had slammed the door and slept at her office. It was hard to see them like that, but Rachel knew there was nothing she could do.

OooO

The next day was a pretty normal day. Rachel went to class, then to the cafeteria for lunch, then back to class, and then it was time for the Glee Club, which went as it always went. At the end of the class, Rachel decided to stay a little longer to reorder the music sheets. Everyone got out of the class so she was alone. But when she looked up, Finn was in front of her, which caused her to jump.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't want to startle you." The tall football player said.

"Oh, no no, it's, it's okay." She said.

Finn smiled at her. He seemed a little bit nervous, and Rachel wondered why.

"As you know, I'm not the best dancer on the team, so... I just wanted to know if, maybe, you would be okay to... teach me how to dance?" He asked.

"Me?" Rachel asked, her eyes opened wide.

"Yeah, you." Finn confirmed.

Rachel couldn't believe it. The guy she had a crush on wanted her to help him. He could have asked any girl. He could have even asked his girlfriend, Quinn was a cheerleader after all, she was a great dancer. But no, he had chose her. Which meant that they would spend time together, just them.

"If you don't want to, I understand of course, you don't have to-" Finn started to stay.

"No no, I mean yes, I can help you. If you want to." Rachel said.

"Thank you, Rachel." Finn said. "So, when you do want to start?"

"Is tomorrow after class at my house okay for you?" She asked.

"Yes, of course. Oh, I don't have your address. You can just send it to me by text." He said.

"I don't, I don't have your number." Rachel said.

"I'll give it to you." Finn said.

Rachel gave her phone to Finn and watched him as he entered his number.

"Done." He then said, and she nodded. "So... see you tomorrow." He said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." She answered as Finn left.

Rachel couldn't believe what had just happened. Finn and her were going to spend time together, alone, for the first time. She was so happy that she smiled all the way back to her house. And since she didn't have any homework to do she just sat on the sofa with her earphones and listened to love songs from musicals, such as 'You are woman, I am man' from Funny Girl or 'I'll cover you' from Rent.

Then her dad came back, and surprisingly, her mom arrived half an hour later.

"I didn't thought you were going to be home so early." Hiram said.

"Yeah, since you always tell me I come back home to late, I decided to come back earlier today." Shelby said,

"Okay." Hiram said.

"So let's spend time together as a family." Shelby said.

"Wait, so you think suddenly you can come and we have to stop everything we're doing just to be with you?" Hiram asked.

"No, I'm just trying to be a better mother and a better wife, is there a problem with that?" She asked.

"No, the problem is that you think you can come here and act as if everything was okay!" Hiram said.

"Well, excuse me for trying to do something to make it okay!" Shelby answered.

Rachel needed to get out of here. Really. Every time it was the same thing, she didn't even enjoy being at home anymore. She took her backpack with her school stuff in it and put her pajamas in it. She went in the bathroom to took her toothbrush, her hairbrush and everything she needed and put it in her bag to. When she went downstairs, her parents were almost screaming at each other. They didn't even saw her leave the house.

She went to the bus station and was happy that the bus came almost immediately. When she got off of the bus, she walked a little bit and rang a house's doorbell.

"Rachel, hi, what brings you here?" Sophie Smythe said with a kind voice.

Sophie one of the nicest person Rachel had ever met. She was French and had come to the USA for her studies when she was 18. She was a piano teacher and was actually the first person who had introduced Rachel to musicals.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Rachel asked.

"Of course! You know you're always welcomed here sweetheart." She said as she opened the door wide. "I am having a class right now but Sebastian is upstairs in his room.

"Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting you." Rachel said.

"It's okay, come in." Sophie answered.

Rachel climbed the stairs and arrived in Sebastian's bedroom.

"Let me guess, you parents are fighting again?" He asked as he saw her.

She nodded as she sat next to him on his bed.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He asked.

It was as if he knew she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Because he knew how much it was hurting her, but he just wanted to make her feel better.

"Yeah." She said.

Sebastian took his laptop and put it on the bed in front of them.

"Okay, so this time, I choose the movie we're watching." He said.

"Why?" Rachel asked, offended.

"Because you always choose musical movies. I'm not saying they are bad, but I also want to watch different things."

"Can we just watch Heathers?" She asked.

"Rach, I just-" Sebastian said before Rachel interrupted him.

"It's not a musical movie, I swear. Actually, there is a stage production adapted from this movie, but the movie isn't a musical movie. And there's people dying, you will love it!" She said.

"Okay, let's watch that." Sebastian said as Rachel smiled in victory.

As Sebastian pressed play and the movie started, Rachel snuggled against her best friend. She may not be doing well at the moment, but she would be. She knew it. Because every time she felt bad and needed Sebastian, he was there and knew exactly how to make her feel better. There were advantages and disadvantages to knowing someone for so long. Sometimes they would be sick of the other. But sometimes, the other one was all they needed.

OooO

Rachel put on a light pink lipstick on her lips as she watched herself in the mirror. Finn was coming in a few minutes and she was a little bit stressed. It was the first time they would be alone together, so maybe it wasn't an important thing, but she wanted to make a good impression.

The doorbell rang and she ran towards the door. She stopped, adjusted her dress and opened the door with a big smile.

"Hi, Finn." She said.

"Hi Rachel." He answered as she opened the door wider to let him enter.

"So... are we doing this here?" He asked.

"Oh, no. There isn't much place and my father will be there later so I figured it would be better to do it in the basement." She answered.

"Okay." He nodded.

She led him to the basement door and they walked down the stair to the room. She turned on the lights as they arrived.

"Welcome to the Oscar room." Rachel said as Finn looked everywhere.

There was a piano, some armchairs and even a stage. Rachel was pretty proud about how well this room was decorated.

" _Cool_." Finn said. "Do you, like, make concerts on this?" He asked, pointing the stage.

"Yeah, sometimes we invite the neighbors and I sing a few songs. It's like a rehearsal for later." She answered.

"You are so passionate about what you love," Finn said, "it's one of the thing I like the most about you."

Rachel tried not to blush but she couldn't help it. Finn had just said that he loved something about her. And he had said 'the most', so it meant he liked other things about her! It was the first time he had said something like that and it made her feel so happy.

"So, where do we start?" Finn asked.

"I figured I could put on some music and we can just try to move to the beat. Is that okay?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Finn answered.

Rachel put on some music and joined Finn in the center of the room.

"Okay, so we're going to start like that, just bop you head to the rhythm of the music. Finding the beat and following it is the most important thing in dancing." Rachel said as Finn followed her instruction.

"Yes, just like that." She said. "Then, we're going to go on one side," she said with a step on her left, "and on then on the other side..."

Finn was very focused on what he was doing but he was doing good.

"Now, we're going to do one step forward and one step behind, just like, wait _no_ , not that foot." Rachel said as Finn was starting to struggle to follow Rachel.

"I will never be a good dancer." Finn said as he stopped dancing.

"Don't said that," Rachel said, "we just started, you have plenty of time to improve yourself."

Finn smiled shyly and then looked at Rachel in her eyes.

"Thank you Rachel." He said.

"Oh, it's nothing you know." She answered.

"Not just for helping me, but also for believing in me. Thank you." He said.

"Your welcome." Rachel said as she blushed.

It was just the beginning after all.

OooO

"So, how is it going with your dance lessons with Finn?" Mercedes asked as the three friends were walking in the hallway.

"Fine." Rachel answered.

"Just fine?" Kurt asked, perplexed.

"Nothing happened?" Mercedes asked.

"Just fine, absolutely nothing happened." Rachel answered.

As they continued to walk, Rachel noticed Finn against the lockers. He noticed her too and he sent her a wink. She turned her head away to try to hide her cheeks becoming pink. Then she felt Kurt catch her arm to stop her.

"Oh!" She said.

"Did Finn Hudson just winked at you?" Kurt said.

"Yeah, I guess so." She shrugged.

"And you say _nothing_ happened?" Mercedes asked, suspicious.

"Yeah." She confirmed as she started to walk again.

The truth was that yes, nothing major had happened, the lessons were going well, and actually Finn was really doing better. _But_ Finn and Rachel had spent a lot of time together. They were times when they would take a break and just talk or laugh together, and the result of that was that they were now closer than they used to be. But he was still with Quinn, and until that changed, she knew she could only dream of being with him.

OooO

"I just need to get my laptop." She said as she started to climb the stair, Finn following her.

They entered the room and she took her laptop which was on the desk as Finn sat on her bed.

"Your room is so..." Finn started.

"Yeah, I know. Everybody tells me that it's too much with all those playbills, the pictures on the board and the ribbons."

"No, I like it." He said. "It's just so... _you_."

Rachel smiled shyly and sat next to Finn before opening her laptop.

"Here it is." She said as she pressed play.

"Wow, is that really you?" Finn asked.

"Yes, I was 7." She said.

"And you were already doing dance competitions?" He said.

"Yeah..." Rachel answered, not mentioning the fact that she won her first competition when she was 3.

"Wow. I don't even know how you did all that, I could never." He said.

"Well, I had more experience than you do." She said.

"Yeah, but still." He said, before turning his face towards her. "You're pretty amazing."

Rachel turned to face him. There was a spark in his eyes, she had always wondered why, but he always seemed so handsome to her.

Finn put a hand on her cheek and slowly got closer to her face. Rachel knew what was going to happen, but she couldn't believe it. And then he kissed her. And she felt like she was flying. And then she realized.

"Wait," she said as she broke the kiss, "you're dating Quinn!"

"No, I... I broke up with her this morning." He said.

"You did?" Rachel asked and Finn answered with a nod.

"I really like you Rachel." He said.

And then she just forgot the world around them as she kissed him again. Something that she had dreamed of doing for so long and was finally able to. One thing was sure, there was not a place she would rather be than where she was right now with Finn.

OooO

 **This is the end of the chapter... It's pretty long and the other chapters will probably be shorter, but it's the begging so there was a lot of things I needed to write. Anyway, I hope you liked this first chapter and I would love to know what you thought about it, so don't hesitate to review if you want to!**

 **See you next time with the second chapter from Sebastian's point of view!**


	2. Thinking About The Future

**A.N./ Hello, I am back with the the second chapter from Sebastian's point of view, so we'll get to know him a little bit more. Anyway, I hope you'll like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

"So If you want to do it..." Sebastian said in Brooke's ear as he leaned against the lockers.

She wasn't his friend, or a girl he had a crush on. She was just in a few of his classes. But she was hot, and that was all Sebastian needed to know about her.

"Yeah, I mean of course I want to." The girl answered.

"Okay, then... my place at 3 pm?" He said flirty.

"But... we have biology." She said.

"Let's just skip it." He said with a wink.

"Okay." She said, smiling.

He noticed Rachel watching him from the lockers on the opposite wall. When she saw him watching her she rolled her eyes at him. Sebastian chuckled. He knew Rachel didn't approve of his principle being 'fuck'em and leave them', but he knew she wasn't opposed to it either. She would tell him it wasn't a good thing for him and the people he slept with, but she also let him do whatever the fuck he wanted to do.

"I have to go so... I'll see you later." He said to Brooke.

She nodded, playing with a strand of her hair, and he winked before leaving her and walking towards Rachel.

"Being you're usual self as I see." Rachel said.

"What can I say? Ever since puberty everybody stares at me, boys, girls, I can't help it baby." He said with a mischievous smile.

"Did you... did you just quote _Rent_?" She asked, incredulous.

"Yes, yes indeed." He said.

Sebastian saw as the corner of her mouth raised a little before lowering, as if she was trying to suppress a smile. She was trying to hide it, but he knew she somehow was proud of him.

"I impressed you, didn't I?" He said, very proud of himself for quoting a song from one of his best friend's favorite musicals.

"I have to admit it, you did." She said, and they both laughed.

"Anyway, I just..." He started before he was interrupted.

"Hi, babe." Finn said as he interrupted Sebastian.

He and Rachel kissed and Sebastian just stood there with his arms crossed. Rachel and Finn had been dating for about two weeks now. He wasn't against the idea of them dating, but he didn't like it either. And he couldn't get used to the idea that this was happening. Rachel had crushed on Finn since Frenchman year. And it was cute to see her blush and become awkward whenever he was near her. But now she was dating him? She hadn't even dated anyone before, and her first boyfriend was going to be the football team's quarterback who had just broken up with his cheerleader girlfriend. How could Sebastian not be worried?

"Oh, hey Sebastian." Finn said after the kissing session.

"You know who I am?" Sebastian. "Oh, yeah, Rachel probably..."

"No, it's just... most people know who you are. Not that you're popular or anything, for _obvious_ reasons..." Finn said as he scanned Sebastian from the bottom to the top.

Oh yeah, there was also that. Sebastian hated Finn. Mostly because he was dumb and arrogant. And he was fine with Rachel having a crush on him, but she wasn't supposed to date him! He couldn't stand him.

"But yeah, people know you." Finn continued. "And the entire football team is scarred of you since they know you protect Rachel. Oh, by the way, that won't be needed since I will be the one to protect her from now on." He said with a kiss on Rachel's cheek who smiled from ear to ear.

Sebastian chuckled. The fact that Finn dated Rachel only meant that he would have to protect her _even more_. Because it was just a matter of time before Finn broke Rachel's heart, he knew it and he didn't trust him. And Sebastian didn't want to see her hurting. He knew she wouldn't want him to protect her, but he was going to do it anyway.

"Anyway," Sebastian said as he turned to Rachel, "you're still coming tonight?"

He was talking about the movie night they had planned for this Friday. The atmosphere at Rachel's home had become more and more tense as her parents' fights had become worse than ever. So as a good best friend, Sebastian wanted to help Rachel forget about that and spend some good time.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you I'm seeing Santana and Brittany tonight." She said.

"Santana and Brittany?" He asked.

"Yeah. They want us to have a sleepover at Brittany's house." She said.

He nodded. Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce were in the cheerleading team and they hated Quinn Fabray since she had stolen Santana's captain spot in Sophomore Year. He had no interest in them since he wasn't really into cheerleaders but he kept an eye on them. It was weird that they had suddenly became friend with Rachel, who they used to consider as a loser, when she started to date Finn, so he didn't think it was a good idea for Rachel to be friend with them. But he nodded, because she was going to do whatever she wanted to do anyway.

"Okay. We'll do it another time then."

OooO

Sebastian opened his bedroom's door as he kissed Brooke. They entered and started to really make out.

"My mother will be home soon so let's make it quick." He said as he broke the kiss.

Brooke nodded and he took out her shirt.

When they were finished, they put on their clothes and get out the room, going downstairs. He wanted Brooke to be out of the house before his mom was back because he didn't want to have to explain anything.

But when they arrived downstairs his mom was there.

"Oh, hi," She said as she walked towards Brooke, "I'm Sophie, Sebastian's mother."

"And I'm..." Brooke started.

"She was just leaving anyway." Sebastian interrupted her as he made her understand that she indeed had to leave.

She said goodbye and left.

"So... I thought you were dating that guy you were with last week, I saw him leaving your room a couple of times so I figured..." She said.

"We weren't dating." Sebastian said.

He would never date someone. It just wasn't his thing. Yes, he and Aaron had slept together more than one time, but it was just sex, and he didn't want more.

"You know I love you, mon cœur, I just want you to be happy. And I would be so happy if one day you brought a girl or a boy here as your girlfriend or your boyfriend." She said.

"Mom, I don't want to date anyone, not now." He said and she nodded.

"Wait... aren't you supposed to be in class right now? Did you skip class Sebastian?" She said.

"Yes, yes I did." He answered as he climbed the stairs to go into his room.

He didn't know what was the problem with skipping class. He had very good grades, almost as good as Rachel's, even if he didn't go to class and didn't listen when he went to. So he didn't see what was the point to even go to class. He didn't even know what he wanted to do, or what he wanted to study. He didn't even know if he wanted to go to College. So yeah, basically he didn't care about school. It wasn't like he had plans for his future or anything.

He went to his room and closed the door, only for his mom to knock on it half an hour later.

"Yes?" He said.

"Hey, I thought Rachel was supposed to come here today?" She said.

"She was, but she has other plans." He answered.

"Oh, okay." She said. "It seems like she is coming less and less."

"Yeah, well, you know, since she is dating Finn and all.." Sebastian said.

"Oh right, that's the guy she has had a crush for for all this years, right?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah." Sebastian answered.

"Oh well, that is such a good thing happening to her!" She said with a smile.

Sebastian simply nodded even if he thought it was the worst thing that could ever happened to her. It seemed he was the only one to worry about how this would end. And Rachel had changed since she was dating that guy. Yes, it had only been a week and they hadn't have been major changes but she was almost not hanging out with Mercedes and Kurt anymore, and she was also less hanging out with himself. Not that he was possessive, but it just wasn't her.

He glanced at his mother who was still standing there with her arms crossed.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I want to talk about you skipping class." She said, determined.

"But mom, I don't see where the big deal is, I just..." He said as his mother interrupted him.

"No, don't give me this 'it doesn't matter' talk like you always do!" She said. "I know you think that as long as you have good grades you can go to school whenever you want to, but that'a not how the world work, Seb, and you will understand it when you'll go to College" She said.

"But mom, I don't even want to..."

"No, you always say that you don't want to go to College, but that's just because you don't know what you want to do, and this is what you need to discover. I want you to do what you love." She said.

Sophie sat next to Sebastian on his bed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I just don't want you to wake up one day with regrets." She said before kissing his forehead. "Je t'aime, mon cœur." She said.

Sebastian knew his mom loved him, and he also loved her more than anything. She was all he had after his dad left them. Then her mom had marry another man, Matthew Smythe, who had adopted him. He had loved him, and Sebastian considered him more like his father than his biological father. But then Matthew had died, and Sophie and Sebastian were alone once more. It had been hard for her, and Sebastian just wanted her to be happy.

"Je t'aime aussi." He said.

OooO

The bell rang and Sebastian started to leave the classroom until Mr Johnson, the English teacher called his name.

"Sebastian?" He called, and Sebastian stopped in his track. "Can you stay for a minute."

Sebastian walked up to his seat and sighted, knowing it was probably going to be about the class he had missed the previous week.

When all the students had left the classroom, Mr Johnson walked up to Sebastian and sat on the table that was in front of his.

"Do you have an idea of why I wanted to talk to you?" He asked.

Sebastian simply nodded.

"You're probably thinking it's because of the class you keep skipping, because that's usually what I want to talk to you about, and you know what, you're right. Because skipping class is not a good thing for yourself or your future, not with all the talent you have."

Sebastian raised his eyebrow at the end of his teacher's speech, not really understanding what he was talking about.

"I read the last homework you gave to me," the teacher said, "the one were you had to pretend to be a journalist and document about an event and give your opinion. It was brilliant. I already knew you were really good in writing but this one was particularly good. You have such a very clear view on the world, but at the same time, you seem to be able to be open minded about what other people could teach you or about opinions differing yours."

Sebastian looked at Mr Johnson. He didn't really know why he was saying that and what was the point.

"I know you aren't really thinking about your future, but have you thought about journalism?" Mr. Johnson asked.

"Journalism?" Sebastian asked as if it was a joke.

"Yes, you have the qualities for it." He said.

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't think it's for me." Sebastian said before getting up and walking towards the exit.

"It's your senior year." Mr Johnson said as Sebastian stopped right in front of the door. "We're already in October and it would be time to think a little bit about tomorrow, for once. I understand if you just want to forget this talk, but if you want me to help you, I will be there."

"Goodbye." Sebastian just said as he left the classroom.

OooO

Sebastian would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about Mr Johnson's words. He had never really thought about what he actually wanted to do, and it was the first time that someone had told him that he had talent in something. He just didn't know if doing something about it was really worth it.

But Mr Johnson was willing to help him, he seemed to believe in him, so maybe that counted for something?

He had thought about it for days and it was still in his head. For some reason, he wanted to listen to his English teacher and maybe set a goal for himself. But he didn't know why he suddenly felt like it was a good idea. Maybe he just wanted his mom to be proud of him. He knew in theory she would be proud of him no matter what, but he didn't want her to worry about him.

Which is probably why he found himself in front of Mr Johnson's classroom the next day after his classes. Mr Johnson exited his classroom and started to lock the door when he noticed Sebastian who was against the wall.

"Sebastian, may I help you?" He asked.

"Well, yeah." Sebastian said.

"Can you be more specific?" The teacher asked with an eyebrow raised.

"For the _thing_ you told me!" He said, as if it was obvious. "About journalism or whatever... You know what, just forget it it was a bad idea anyway." He said as he started to walk away.

"Hold on," Mr Johnson said, and Sebastian stopped in his track.

Mr Johnson started to walk towards the exit and Sebastian wondered if he actually was going to leave. Wasn't he the one who had said that he would help him if he wanted?

"Well?" Mr. Johnson asked as he turned around. "Are you coming?"

So Sebastian followed Mr Johnson, because what else was he supposed to do anyway?

They walked out of McKinley High School, walked in Lima, Sebastian not knowing where they were going and he chuckled when they stopped in front of the library.

"You're kidding, right?" Sebastian asked as Mr Johnson looked at him dead in the eyes.

"You've never been to the town library, I presume?" He said.

"Not really my thing." Sebastian answered.

"As I supposed." He said.

Mr Johnson entered the building and Sebastian followed him inside.

"Hello Mr Berry." The teacher said to Hiram who was sat at the reception desk, sorting returned books.

"Hello Mr Johnson," Hiram said as he lifted his head and noticed Sebastian, "Sebastian! How are you?" He asked as he smiled.

"Fine and you Hiram?" The boy said.

Sebastian had always appreciated Hiram. He wasn't like a father to him, because Sebastian had had a father for a long time while knowing Hiram, but he was definitely a father figure.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. What are you here for?" He asked.

"We are here to work." The teacher answered.

"Well, I'll let you get on it." Hiram said with a smile.

Mr Johnson and Sebastian started to walk towards a table as Sebastian looked around him. It was actually the first time that he had ever been into the library. He had been to the school library, of course, when he had to do group projects for example, but this library was so much bigger, there was so many books. A bookworm would probably say that this place held so much knowledge, but Sebastian didn't exactly see it that way. It wasn't that he didn't like reading, he liked it, actually. He just didn't find interesting enough books most of the time.

"I didn't know you knew Mr Berry." Mr Johnson said.

"Well yeah, he's Rachel's father." Sebastian said.

"Oh, right, that girl you hang out with at school" He said, Sebastian raising an eyebrow because he and Rachel didn't hang out together a lot at school. "You're seen with a lot of people, but she seems to be the only one to be with you more than one time. It's a good thing if you have someone who supports you."

Mr Johnson dropped his bag on one of the table and Sebastian sat at it.

"I'm just going to take something." The teacher said as he walked away in one of the row.

Mr Johnson came back a few minutes later and dropped a book in front of Sebastian.

"The Elements of style...? Seriously?" He asked.

"We need to start with the basics. I want you to read this." Mr Johnson said.

"I thought we were going to so something more... concrete." Sebastian said.

"This is important. And you need to learn how to study. You only work when you ultimately have no other choices and you think that as long as you have good grades, working is not important. But once you'll be in College, everything will be different. Plus, this book will teach you the basics of style and you will need to know everything about it for the essays you need to write for school's applications." Mr Johnson took a deep breath and looked at Sebastian in the eyes. "I need to know if you really are committed to this and if you are going to work for it."

"Yes." Sebastian said with a sight.

"No, I want an honest answer." Mr Johnson said.

Sebastian took a deep breath. "I am committed to this." He said.

"Perfect."

OooO

It was probably 7pm when Sebastian heard a knock on his bedroom's door. He got up and opened it, finding Rachel standing there.

"Hi." She said. "I know it's been a week, but... I wondered if we could do our movie night tonight...?" She asked. "I have some popcorn." She said as she showed the popcorn bucket she was holding in her hands.

"Well, how can I say no to that?" He said as he let her enter the room.

Rachel entered and settled on Sebastian's bed as he went to take his computer on his desk.

"So... it's been a while since we've basically seen each other." Rachel said.

"Well, it's not like I've been the one avoiding you." Sebastian said as he sat next to Rachel on her bed.

"Yeah I know, and I'm really sorry. It's just that with Finn and..." Rachel said before Sebastian interrupted her.

"Is Finn preventing you from seeing me?" Sebastian asked.

"What? No! Absolutely not!" She said. " _Even_ if he didn't want me to see you, I would anyway. You're way too important to me."

"So he doesn't want you to see me." Sebastian said.

"It's not that he doesn't want me to see you, it's more that he doesn't like it." She said.

"Of course he doesn't." Sebastian chuckled.

"I mean, you can't expect him not too. You're... McKinley's hight player in charge, you're hot, and..."

"So you think I'm hot?" Sebastian interrupted her as he playfully shoved her with his elbow.

"Don't change the subject!" Rachel said. "I just think he might feel a bit... threatened. Because we've known each other for so long."

Sebastian chuckled at the fact that Finn Hudson could feel threatened by him, when these days he felt quite the opposite. It didn't really made sense, because he knew Rachel was always going to be by his side, but still, he felt her slowly drifting away. Rachel never had had to feel threatened by any guy or girl that had come and gone in Sebastian's life, because she knew Sebastian didn't feel anything for them and that she would always be the number one in his life. Now, with Rachel dating Finn, everything was different. She may not be in love yet, but she could become in the future, and what if she choose Finn over him? Sebastian liked to think she wouldn't, but after all, he couldn't be sure of it.

"My dad said he saw you at the library yesterday." Rachel said.

"Yeah, well, I'm working with Mr Johnson now." Sebastian said as he searched for a movie.

"Really? What are you working for?" Rachel asked excitingly.

"I may want to study journalism in the future, I'm not sure yet, but maybe." He said.

"Seb, that's awesome!" Rachel said with a genuine big smile. "I'm so happy for you that you found something you want to do."

And as she took him in his arms, he forgot about his fears.

OooO

Weeks passed as Sebastian continued to work with Mr Johnson. They finally worked on more concrete things and Sebastian felt like maybe it would be useful. He was determined to go to College now, and have a career, and be happy. After all, that was what the people who loved him wanted for him.

It was already the beginning of December and Sebastian already felt the cold air when he went outside. Sebastian was walking to the library to meet with his English teacher, something that happened twice a week.

"Hello Hiram." Sebastian said as he stopped in front of the reception desk to greet Rachel's father.

"Hello Sebastian, how is everything going for you?" He asked.

"Good, and you?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm doing very well, thank you. Anyway, I'll let you work." He said.

"See you later then." Sebastian said as he walked away and Hiram waived at him.

He spotted Mr Johnson sat at a table and walked up to him, sitting opposite on him.

"Hello Mr Johnson." He said as he took his pens and notebooks out of his bag.

"Hello Sebastian." The teacher answered before taking a paper sheet out of his bag. "I want you to write an essay today, you have two hours from now."

Sebastian nodded and started to work.

After this work session Sebastian walked the way back to his house. He was tired but he knew all of this would pay off in the end. He arrived and opened the front door.

"Sebastian?" His mother said, sitting on the couch with a book in her hands.

"Yes?" He said.

"Rachel is waiting for you in your room." Sophie said.

Sebastian did not know what was happening. He and Rachel didn't see each other as often as they used to now, even if she tried her best to make time for him. He climbed the stairs and opened the door, finding Rachel pacing the room. She lifted her head and Sebastian saw that there were tears streaming down her face. She immediately ran into his arms.

"Rach, What happened?" He asked.

"It's... Finn." She said between sobs. "He, he... he cheated on me."

Sebastian felt two different emotions at this moment. Firstly, it felt heartbroken to see his best friend having her own heart broken. She seemed so helpless. Secondly, he was furious. Finn had hurt Rachel, and Sebastian wasn't going to get away with it. But for now, all that mattered was Rachel.

"It's going to be okay." He whispered as he held her.

OooO

 **The end! A little bit of drama at the end of this chapter, but I promise you, this is just the beginning... Also, just a little translation in case you didn't understand everything that Sebastian's mom and Sebastian said in French: "Je t'aime" means "I love you", "Je t'aime aussi" means "I love you too", and "mon cœur" means "my heart" and is a way to call someone you love, like "honey", for example. Anyway, I really hope you liked this chapter and I would love to know what you thought about it and to see you reviews! See you next time for the next chapter, which will be in Rachel's point of view!**


	3. Something Changes

**A.N./ Hi! Here is the third chapter and it's from Rachel's point of view. We will know what happens after Rachel broke up with Finn. Anyway, I really hope you will like this chapter because all the drama really starts now. Don't forget to review to tell me what you thought of this chapter ;)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

Rachel yawned as she woke up. She sat up and stretched her arms. Sebastian was still sleeping peacefully next to her, his back facing her. She felt a little bit tired, they had gone to sleep late at night but she felt definitely better than the previous day. She had talked for long and he had listened and reassured her, and for that, she was thankful. Sebastian had always been there for her, and she knew he would always be. She trusted him more than anybody else.

She got up and searched for the skirt she had worn the previous day. She had come here without planning it and therefore she hadn't taken any clean clothes with her, so she was stuck with this plaid skirt, as well as the underwear and bra she had already worn. She walked up to Sebastian's closet and opened it. There was a small section with some clothes she had forgotten here, after all so many years of having been friends and sleepovers. She found a sweater that had probably been folded by Sophie as well as some socks.

She took her clothes and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She searched for a clean towel in the chest drawer under the mirror. She slipped out of her pajamas and hopped in the shower, letting the hot water travel down her body.

She got out of the bathroom and went downstairs. She took a bowl and poured cereals in it, before sitting on a chair with her bowl on the kitchen counter and she started to eat.

"Hi!" She heard a kind voice say and she lifted her head to see Sophie who walked into the kitchen with a smile.

"Hi Sophie." Rachel answered. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine, I had a good night of sleep." She said. "And you, are you feeling better than last night?"

"Definitely." Rachel nodded.

It was true, even if she was still sad and disappointed, but they were normal feelings to feel after a breakup, and she knew it would eventually pass.

Sophie nodded as she walked up to Rachel and cupped her cheek with her hand.

"Don't let boys make you cry like that, they are not worth it." She said. "Okay?"

"Okay." Rachel answered.

Sophie kissed her on the forehead and went to prepare herself a cup of coffee. Rachel saw Sebastian coming to the kitchen as he scratched the top of his head.

"Hello everyone." He said as he yawned.

"Hi, Seb." Rachel said.

"Bonjour mon cœur." Sophie said as she kissed his cheek.

"So, How are you feeling?" He asked Rachel.

"Better." She said.

"For real?" He asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm not like _happy_ , but... I feel better, thanks to you." She answered.

"So it's going to be okay at school? I mean you're probably going to see him, and maybe her too, so..." He said.

"I'll be okay, don't worry." She reassured him and he nodded.

"Take care of her." Sophie said as she walked out of the kitchen with her cup of coffee.

"Always." Sebastian said.

She smiled at him, to tell him that it was really going to be okay and that he didn't have to worry. He was always worrying about her. She understood, of course, because she herself was worrying about him most of the time, but she didn't want him to worry to much.

OooO

They arrived at school and Rachel felt a lump in her throat. She just really didn't want to see Finn. She could act normal, and pretend it was okay, but if she happened to see Finn, she wasn't sure she wouldn't burst into tears. He had broken her heart, and he had betrayed her.

Sebastian saw she had became tense and he took her hand in his, squeezing it a little. As they walked hand by hand in the hallway, Rachel noticed Santana and Brittany who were leaning against the lockers. A smile started to form on her lips, glad to see people who would be on her side, until she actually saw them. They were glaring at her, as if she wasn't worth speaking to. Of course, it was normal. They didn't want their reputation to be stained. Rachel couldn't help but feel like she had been really stupid to trust them. She had actually believed that they wanted to be friends with her. And she knew Sebastian didn't agree with this friendship, she knew he thought Santana and Brittany were using her because she was dating Finn, and she knew he hadn't said anything because he knew she wouldn't listen to him. But now, she really felt stupid.

"Come on." Sebastian said as he walked faster and they passed the two cheerleaders.

They stopped in front of Rachel's locker, and she opened it to take the books she needed.

"Do you want me to talk to them?" Sebastian asked as he pointed to Santana and Brittany.

"No, they are not worth it. I just... I'm disappointed, I guess." She answered and Sebastian nodded.

She closed her locker, and that's when she saw Mercedes and Kurt. Her heart was heavy as she realized she hadn't talked to them in so long. She had basically left them aside as she had started to hang with Santana and Brittany. Rachel sighted as she felt the guilt. She had just been an horrible friend. She didn't expected them to just welcome her back in their friendship, but she wished she could apologize.

"You should go see them." Sebastian said.

"You think?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, they are your friends after all." Sebastian said.

"Yeah, but I, I betrayed them." She said. "I just wish I could apologize."

"Then do it." He said.

Maybe he was right, she thought. She knew they were mad at her, she couldn't blame them, but maybe if she just talked to them, it would get better? She would never know if she didn't try. She nodded as she walked up to Mercedes and Kurt. They saw her and glared at her.

"Hi." She simply said. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Oh, so now that you've been abandoned by your so-called friends you want to come back to us?" Mercedes said.

"We weren't good enough but now you don't have _any_ other choices, right?" Kurt said.

"No, I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean it and I just—" Rachel said as she was interrupted.

"Save it." Mercedes said.

"You know what, Rachel?" Kurt said. "You deserve everything that's happening to you." He said as he took Mercedes's hand and the two walked away.

Rachel sighted. She had really messed up. She knew she had, but right now, she really felt like shit. School hadn't even started and it seemed like it was going to be a really long day.

The morning went as expected, not great, and then it was time for lunch. When she looked at the cafeteria with her trail in her hands, it seemed more menacing than ever. She looked at Mercedes and Kurt who were eating together, but she obviously couldn't go with them. There was Santana and Brittany who were sitting with a few other cheerios, the girls who Rachel used to hand with buy couldn't anymore. There was a table with Tina, Mike, Artie and Sugar, who were all in the Glee Club, but she wasn't really close to them, so it was a no too. She knew Sebastian would come later, but he wasn't here yet, so she would have to eat alone.

She walked towards an empty table and sat. It was probably the first time she ate alone, and she really didn't want it to become an habit. She was eating her salad when she saw a red skirt appearing in front of her. Rachel lifted her head, and she saw Quinn Fabray in front of her. The girl just put her trail down on the table and sat opposite to Rachel, whose eyes were wide-opened.

"Surprised?" Quinn said nonchalantly as she took a piece of spinach with her fork. "You probably didn't thought I would come to see it, since you assumed I hate you."

Rachel was frozen, she didn't really understand what was going on. Was Quinn Fabray, cheer team captain, queen bee, ex girlfriend of Finn Hudson, speaking to her _calmly_? Why?

"You weren't absolutely wrong." Quinn said as she continued to eat. "I _did_ hate you. You can't really blame me, you did stole my boyfriend."

Quinn settled her fork aside as she lifted her head to look at Rachel right in the eyes.

"But then I realized that we were both victims." The blonde said.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked as she raised an eyebrow, intrigued by what Quinn had just told her.

"Think about it." Quinn said with a serious tone. "Finn and I were happy, and then he suddenly left me for you. Honestly, it should have alarmed you. But you were smitten by his charm, I get it, I've been there too. But then he got tired of you and found another girl who was better in his eyes. Maybe because she wanted to have sex. That would make sense, I didn't want to, I guess you didn't want to either, so... he had to find what he wanted somewhere else."

Rachel felt her eyes watering. She still remembered discovering Finn had cheated on her. It had been a day ago, but she felt as if she had just seen it. Kurt had opened the door to leave the house at the same time Rachel had arrived in front of the house, he had let her in without a glance and she had climbed the stairs. She had opened the door of Finn's bedroom, not bothering to knock because she didn't thought there was anything she wasn't supposed to see. And then she had seen them making out. They had stopped immediately but she had already seen it. The girl tried to search for her top as if she hadn't been in just a bra a moment before. At that moment, Rachel realized she had seen Finn and this girl talk at school before. And then there was Finn who was explaining himself and apologizing but it was like she couldn't even hear him. She had just left the room and the house and walked to the bus station. She had sit on the bench and started to cry.

Rachel swiped a few tears away with her hand as she recomposed herself.

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked.

"I just want to give you a few advices." Quinn said. "Firstly, don't cry because of him, he's a worthless peace of shit."

Rachel had never heard Quinn talk like that. But it wasn't very surprising, after what he had done to her. Rachel couldn't quite do that yet. She couldn't seem to let herself hate Finn. She had liked him for so long.

"Secondly... don't ever fall for guys like this again. There are just bad news. Find someone better, hotter, like you friend Sebastian."

Rachel almost choked on her salad as she heard what Quinn had just said. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, the guy who's protecting you or whatever. He's hot." Quinn said absentmindedly. "You two never...?"

"No! We've never—"

"Oh, yeah, you're still a virgin, right?" Quinn asked, to which Rachel nodded. "Me too. I'm so glad I didn't let Finn take my virginity though."

Rachel nodded. She had almost gave it to him, but she hadn't. But as much as Quinn seemed happy of her choice, Rachel couldn't help but think that maybe if she had slept with Finn he wouldn't have cheated.

"Anyway." Quinn said as she got up and took her trail. "Enjoy the rest of your meal I guess."

And she left just as fast as she had arrived.

"Sorry I'm late." Sebastian said as he arrived and sat in front of Rachel. "She wasn't harassing you, was she? Do you want me to go talk to her?" He said as he glanced at Quinn.

"No... She was... kind of nice actually." Rachel said.

"How's been your day so far?" He asked.

"As good as I expected it to be. Which means really bad." She said.

"I'm sorry." Sebastian said.

"It's not your fault, Seb. I'm just glad you're by my side."

OooO

Rachel got out of the Glee Club classroom at the end of the lesson. Finn hadn't come and she was relieved he hadn't, though she knew he would probably come one day or another.

She was supposed to meet with Sebastian at her lockers and he was supposed to walk her home. When she walked up to her locker, he had his back turned to her. When she arrived next to him he turned and she gasped.

"What happened?" She said as her hand went to his face, examining the few bruises and cuts he had.

"Come on, I've been worse." He said.

And she knew it was true, but she was still not happy about it.

"What the heck did you do?" She said, a little bit angry.

"I might have taught Finn Hudson a good lesson." He said with a small smile, seeming satisfied of himself.

"Are you _crazy_? Look what he did to you!" Rachel said as she touched a cut next to his bottom lip.

"I tell you, this is _nothing_ compared to what I did to him." Sebastian chuckled.

And she knew he wasn't lying because Sebastian could beat anyone in a fight and she knew that even if Finn was tall and seemed athletic he wasn't that strong.

"I just... you shouldn't have done this, Sebastian." She said.

"Nobody hurts my best friend." Sebastian simply said.

Rachel looked at her friend who seemed to be proud of what he had just did, and she couldn't help but think that it was one of the reason why she loved him. The way he was so devoted to the people he cared about.

"Come on." She said as she took his hand and walked towards the school exit.

They walked back to Rachel's home, Rachel keeping Sebastian's hand in hers.

They arrived and Rachel opened the door and led Sebastian to the bathroom which was upstairs.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he watched Rachel searching for something in the medicine cabinet.

"What do you think I'm doing?" She said before instructing him to sit on the edge of the bathtub. "You can't just... be hurt and pretend like it's not important."

"But it's _not_ important!" Sebastian said.

"Sssh." Rachel shushed him as she imbibed a piece of cotton with disinfectant.

Rachel sat next to Sebastian on the edge of the bathtub and applied the cotton to a cut that was placed above his eyebrow. She patted with the cotton, and she noticed Sebastian was looking at her while she was doing this. His kind green eyes were staring at hers. Rachel knew Sebastian had beautiful eyes, had knew that for a very long time. But sometimes, she caught herself being lost in them.

She looked away as she finished to clean his cuts.

"And... done." She said.

"Thanks, Rach." Sebastian said.

"Your welcome." Rachel answered. "Can I... can I stay with you this afternoon? I just want don't want to be alone." She asked.

"Yeah, of course. I just have to tell Michael I won't be seeing him tonight." Sebastian said as he got his phone out of his pocket.

"Oh, no, if you already have plans you don't have to—"

"Rachel, I will cancel it, I can live without sex for one day." He said. "And you know you're more important."

Rachel tried not to smile but she smiled anyway.

"Oh, look at you being all shy, that's not like you." He said as he lightly elbowed her playfully.

Rachel reached out for his face with her hand as she put them on either side of his face.

"I love you, you know that?" She said.

"I know, Rach. I love you too." He said.

She wrapped his neck with her arms as she hugged him tightly and Sebastian wrapped his arms around her back. They stayed like this for a few minutes, Rachel sighting as she tried to forget the day she had just had. It hadn't been great but at least right now, it felt right.

OooO

Rachel and Sebastian then went to Sebastian's. They greeted Sophie who was teaching a little girl in the living room on the piano and went to Sebastian's room. Rachel sat on the bed as her friend opened his closet and started to search something in it.

"I'm just gonna change my t-shirt." He said as he settled a clean t-shirt on his bed and took his shirt off.

Unexpectedly, Rachel caught herself staring. She blushed as she realized what she was doing, but she couldn't seem to stop as Sebastian didn't seem to have noticed her. She knew people thought Sebastian was hot, even in High School some girls and boys had asked her his number for this specific reason. She had seen him shirtless before, she knew he had abs. But right now, she was realizing it, her best friend was _hot_. Sebastian finally looked at her and she looked away.

"So... what do we do?" She asked.

"Well, I don't know, you were the one who wanted to come here." He answered.

"Yeah, but I only thought about the company. It's always better to be bored with someone than alone." Rachel said with a shrug.

"Well let's do that then." Sebastian said as he laid down on the bed.

"Do what?" Rachel asked.

"Be bored together." He answered as if it was obvious. "Come on."

Rachel laid down next to Sebastian and they stayed like this, next to each other, until Sophie came to see them to ask them if they preferred lasagna or fish for diner.

"I think I'm going to go home tonight." Rachel said.

"Oh, you're sure, honey?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah, I don't want my parents to think I am avoiding them." Rachel said, even if it was kind of true. It wasn't the main reason, but yes, not getting to hear them fight against each other felt great.

The next day, when she saw Finn's face, she smiled a little. She felt bad for that, because she knew what Sebastian had done wasn't good, but she couldn't help it. Sebastian had been definitely right, Finn's face was way worse than Sebastian's.

Then it was the weekend, that she spent with Sebastian, and the next week that she also spent with Sebastian, also because she didn't really have other people to hang with.

"You know you've always been my only friend, cause I don't like to hang with people except for one thing," Sebastian said one day as they were eating pizza on the couch, "but now I also am _your_ only friend."

Rachel laughed at the statement, saying that it was only temporary. It was weird though, not that she minded spending all of her time with her best friend. Rachel was Sebastian's only real friend, yes, but he hung with other people. Mostly for flirting, making out or more. Rachel also needed to see other people. And she did miss Kurt and Mercedes.

Then December 18th came, the date of Rachel's birthday. Sebastian took her to a cupcake shop and he even asked the waitress to put a candle on Rachel's cupcake.

"So how does it feel to be 17?" He asked after she had blown the candle.

"Considering that I will be 17 during all Senior Year while everybody is going to have their 18th birthday in a month, it doesn't feel so important." Rachel said as she took the candle out of

"It _is_ important." He said.

"Why?" She asked.

"Cause it's your birthday? Cause there are people who are happy you were born and that you exist?" He said.

"Like who?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know? Maybe people like your dad, your mom, my mom, me and tons of other people?" He said.

"Aw, so you're happy I'm alive?" Rachel asked.

"Of course, my life would be so sad without you." Sebastian said, exaggerating as he put a hand on his heart.

"I know, how could you live without my talent?" She said as she faked a shocked face and then the two friends laughed.

"For real though, I'm happy to be here with you right now." He said with a smile.

There was something Rachel had noticed throughout the years, about Sebastian's smile. It wasn't something he didn't do often, on the contrary. But when he was with other people, it was usually a smirk. With people like his mom or Rachel, it was _always_ a genuine smile. She loved that, that she was one of the only person who was able to see him really happy, to see him really smile. Because his smile somehow made her feel like he cared about her. She knew he did, but... somehow... it managed to make her feel really just... like she was where she was supposed to be.

"Me too." Rachel said. "I'm always happy to be with you anyway, except sometimes when I just really want to kill you, but I don't do it cause you know, I would end up in prison."

"Right, that's a good reason." Sebastian said. "But yeah, your existence is a good thing for some of us."

She smiled as she thought of Mercedes and Kurt. She missed them, she really did. And she at least wanted to apologize. She hadn't been able to the last time, but she would. Which is why she walked up to them two days later as they were by the lockers.

"Hi, I know you don't want to talk to me but I need to tell you this so I will." She said before taking a deep breath. "I am really sorry for pushing you away because I thought I might become popular or whatever the heck I thought I was going to be. The point is I was being stupid and I am sorry for hurting you. I want you to know that I care about you and that I regret what happened." She said.

Mercedes and Kurt were just staying there, eyes wide-open.

"I just hope one day you can forgive me, although I don't blame you if you don't." She said.

Rachel smiled to them before leaving them. She knew this was or going to solve everything, but at least it was a beginning.

OooO

The next days weren't very different from the previous ones, she spent most of her time with Sebastian, her parents were fighting as always, she worked her ass of to maintain her 4.0 GPA. Finn had come back in the Glee Club, but she ignored him. And strangely enough, when people were making comments about her, Quinn had her back. She was thankful, and if she tried to be mice to her.

So yeah, nothing was very different. Except maybe something. Not that it was that important, but... Something had changed. She had started to notice certain things she hadn't paid attention to before. Like Sebastian's laugh, or the way his nose wrinkled when he smiled, and a few other things. She knew he was handsome, but now she saw it. Something felt different when he was holding her tight, she would blush when he would compliment her. She had never blushed in front of Sebastian before. It was weird, she wasn't used to feel those kind of feelings towards him. But she supposed it was just because Finn and her had just broke up and her feelings were all over the place. So she brushed it off.

'Wanna come over?' Sebastian's text said. It was a Friday and Rachel had just finished her homework, so she figured why not. She walked the way to Sebastian's house, not really knowing what exactly they were going to do. But that was the thing, most of the time they were together they didn't actually do anything special, the point was just to be together.

"Hey." Sebastian said as he opened the door.

"Hi, Seb." Rachel said as she entered the house. "You seem happy."

"My mom isn't here tonight." Sebastian said.

"Is she on a date?" Rachel asked with hope.

"I wish. But no, she's at a restaurant with a few of her friends." He explained. "And look what I found!" He said as he showed her a bottle of wine.

"Where did you find that?" Rachel asked.

"It was in the kitchen, hidden in the back of some cabinet. My mom probably didn't want me to find it since I'm underaged and everything." He said as he opened a cabinet and took two wine glasses.

"I don't think we should do that." Rachel said as Sebastian settled the glasses on the table.

"Why?" Sebastian asked. "Come on, it will be fun!"

Rachel sighted. Somehow, she knew it was a bad idea and that she would regret it. But Sebastian was always the one to introduce new things to Rachel, to make her do crazy things and she ended up loving it or hating it. But she still nodded.

Sebastian went to search for something to open the bottle and opened it. He went back to the table next to Rachel as he poured her glass with wine, then his glass. He handed her her glass and took his.

"You ready?" He said.

Rachel was kind of nervous. It wasn't really necessary, but it was the first time she was going to drink wine. The first time she was going to drink alcohol at all. So she wondered if she was going to like it.

"Let's do it." She said as she brought the glass to her lips.

She took a sip of it and settled the glass on the table.

"So? What do you think?" Sebastian asked.

"It's good I guess. But it's not amazing." She said.

"The point of alcohol isn't the taste, even if it's better when it's good, it's the effect it has on you." He said.

"So I just... keep drinking and wait?" She asked.

"Exactly!" Sebastian said.

An hour later, Sebastian and Rachel had finished the bottle and were on the couch, laughing. Rachel had to admit, Sebastian was right, alcohol did gave you an great feeling. Everything seemed... so much fun. Until she stopped laughing.

"Can I ask you something?" She said, suddenly more serious.

"Yeah, what?" He asked.

"Why did Finn cheat on me?" Rachel asked.

"Cause he's a stupid bastard who never fucking deserved you." He answered.

"Are you sure it's not because of me?" She asked.

"Hell no! You were way too good for him. You're... you're amazing Rach. You're pretty, and you're smart, and you're super talented and kind." He said.

Rachel smiled. She was lucky to have Sebastian. Lucky to have a best friend who always wanted to be sure she was happy. And he was pretty amazing too. He was the person she felt the most at ease with, she knew she could tell him everything, and they could stay together for hours just doing nothing, and that was enough. And lately there were times like this, when she didn't really know what she felt, but she knew wasn't used to it. She looked at Sebastian differently. She had always known him, but now she saw him in a different way.

Maybe it was because of alcohol, but a thought came to her. She tried to push it away, but well, it stuck. Maybe she could just blame it on her being completely drunk, so she didn't have to accept the consequences of what she was going to do. She knew she shouldn't do it. She had never thought of doing it, she wasn't supposed to do it. But right now, it was all she could think about.

So Rachel kissed Sebastian. It lasted a few seconds, then they parted. Sebastian's eyes were wide-open, he seemed kind of shocked. Rachel couldn't blame him for not being prepared.

"Wha—, why did you...?" He said.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. But I want to do it again." She said as she sat on his lap and kissed him again. Sebastian kissed back but then broke the kiss.

"No, we shouldn't..." He started.

"Why?" She asked.

She didn't understand why he would say that. She knew he wanted it too. She wouldn't have expected it, a few days back, but she could see it in his eyes. She knew Sebastian well enough to know when he wanted someone, and right now, this was exactly what he felt, she knew it.

"Because, it's not right. You're going to regret this." He said, worry in his eyes as much as that hunger she had seen before.

"I'm not, I promise you." She said as she put her hands on each side of his face. "I am not going to regret this."

And as she finished her sentence, Sebastian caught her lips in a hungry kiss. It was new, but she was loving every second of it. And she knew she should stop, they should stop. But stopping was the last thing she wanted to do right now.

OooO

 **A.N./ Okay so... that's the end of this third chapter. Have I already said that I love drama? Cause I do, and this is just the begging... Honestly I'm not sure of how long this story is going to be, but considering how I planned it, it's definitely going to be longer that my previous stories (which were 13-15 chapters long). Also, I just want to thank those who have followed or favorited this story, so thank you :). And if you want to review, just know that this would make my day ;)**


	4. What Do We Do Now

**A.N./Hello, and welcome to this new chapter of We Keep Loving Anyway that is in Rachel's point of view. Also, I know it seems kind of weird but we're supposed to be in the beginning of February in this chapter. Anyway, I don't have much else to say so let's do this.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

Sebastian slowly opened his eyes as he felt the headache hurting. The hangover seemed to be already here and was probably going to stay all day. He had already drank before, ending up tipsy or a bit drunk at most, but he had never drank until he was _that_ drunk. And now he was starting to regret it. He stretched his arms as he sat up and saw Rachel next to him still sleeping. Nothing very disturbing. But it was when he saw her bare back covered with the blanket that he started to panic. And then he remembered.

He had fucked up.

The memories were still kind of blurry but he did remembered what happened. He remembered about his stupid idea to drink his mom's wine. And then he remembered Rachel's mouth on his. How he had been surprised but how somehow it had felt right. He had wanted it, just as much as she had. But why? Why did it felt like something had suddenly changed? He had never thought of Rachel in this way, as a 'potential target'. Those people were the ones with whom he did what he had to do then never looked back. Rachel, as his mother, was one of the rare people that he didn't consider like that. There were people he wanted to be with for all his life. So it was needless to say that Rachel was no limit.

And it wasn't even about the fact that she was no limit for him, it was because she was Rachel, his best friend that he had known for 14 years. So yeah, he just had never seen her like that. But he had to admit that she was not the little girl he had met anymore. Well, she obviously wasn't, but even since they had started High School she had changed. Those were changes he didn't pay attention to, but he knew they were there. He knew she had long legs even if she usually hid them under high socks or tights at school. She... well, she had curves, and well... her breasts were... well-sized. She was 17, she was almost a woman and she looked like it. And she was beautiful, had always been anyway.

But regardless, he would have never slept with her, because she was too important. But he had. And even if she had promised him she would not regret it, he knew she would. Because Rachel Berry, as much well-organized and plans-lover as she was, was also a very impulsive person. And she had been drunk on top of that. And he knew that if she had been sober, she would have never done that, because on top of everything, it had been her first time and Sebastian knew, even if they didn't really talked about it, that she would have wanted it to be special. But Sebastian had been stupid enough to almost steal it from her.

Sometimes people say that alcohol just help people to be more brave and do or say what they really want to. But nah, Sebastian knew all of this had just been a moment of... confusion. For both of them. She had broke up with Finn a while ago, and he... well he didn't really have an excuse but...

As he was wondering what he should do, Rachel stirred next to him. He froze as she yawned and slowly sat up next to him.

"Hi." He said with a voice that was everything but confident.

"Hi." She simply answered back.

"How are you?" He asked, because somehow, his reaction was to have a totally normal conversion with her when everything was totally not normal.

"I'm good, thanks. And you?" She answered.

"I'm good..." He answered.

"Good." She said and an uncomfortable silence settled for a minute or so. "So... are we going to talk about what happened or what?" She said with a nervous smile.

"Yeah, we should probably..." Sebastian said nervously before taking a deep breath. "So, we slept together." He said, still not watching her as he stared at the wall but she seemed to be doing the same.

"Yes indeed." Rachel said.

"And we were drunk." He added and Rachel nodded. "And... it's not going to happen again."

"Of course not." Rachel said as she slightly turned towards him, seeming much more composed than previously. "Why would it happen again? It obvious that we are not going to do this again." She said as she nodded to herself. "I'm glad we're on the same page" she said as she got up and left the room.

Sebastian sighted. At least this conversion had gone well. Right?

OooO

Sebastian got out of the shower, got dressed and headed to the kitchen downstairs. Rachel was eating a bowl of cereals, as always. Rachel was the kind of girl who ate heathy. But during the fourteen years he had known her, he had never saw her eat anything else than cereals for breakfast, except maybe when they were on a class trip and they didn't have any cereals so she had had to eat bread. But she had cried. For some reason, a bowl of cereals was the only thing Rachel could eat for breakfast. So at least, something seemed normal.

When Sophie entered the room, Rachel and Sebastian hadn't said a word to each other. She smiled to them, already happy and kind in the morning, as always.

"Hi kids." She said. "Did you two slept well?"

Both Sebastian and Rachel nodded with small 'yes' or 'of course'.

"You must have gone to sleep early yesterday, when I came home and walked to my room I didn't hear anything from your room." Sophie said as she started the coffee machine.

Rachel flushed pink as she turned around to hide her face from the others.

"Yeah, we were... we were tired." Sebastian tried to find an excuse.

"Teenagers," Sophie said ironically, "always tired." She said and Sebastian chuckled a bit.

Sophie took her cup of coffee and sipped it a bit.

"So, what have you planned for today?" She asked.

"Oh, not very much..." Sebastian.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to go home." Rachel said.

So she was going to avoid him. But honestly, he couldn't really blame her.

"Oh, really?" Sophie asked.

"Yes, I have a lot of homework." Rachel nodded.

"Well, I hope to see you soon then." Sophie said with a kiss on Rachel's cheek before leaving the room.

Sebastian didn't know why he hadn't expected it, but it turned out he didn't saw her very much after that. It was Wednesday, five days after... the _thing_ , and Rachel had avoided him. To be honest, she was a pretty good avoider. He barely saw her between classes, when they had class together she came after him and left before him, and now she ate lunch with a bunch of Glee kids, like the Asians and the guy on a wheelchair. He understood why she did that, but he didn't want her to do that. This thing was not supposed to tear them apart, nothing was supposed to tear them apart. And he wasn't going to let Rachel put a end to their friendship just like that.

"We have to talk." He said as she was closing her locker. "I know you don't want to, but we really have to."

Rachel sighted and her eyes met his for the first time in so many days. "Okay." She said. "I don't have any classes right now, so we can do it now, if you want to?"

Sebastian nodded because even though he actually had an history class right now, it didn't matter as much.

Rachel led him to a bench in the school yard and they sat down on it. They both stared at the school yard in front of them as both of them didn't say anything.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Rachel asked.

Sebastian wondered what he actually had to talk about because there was so many things he needed to say.

"Us, this whole thing, why you avoid me." He said, not actually looking at her.

"Why?" She asked quietly.

"Are you actually saying that you're okay with the actual situation?" He asked, hurt, finally looking at Rachel.

"No, of course not." Rachel said.

"Then what is the problem?" He asked, seeing as she suddenly seemed upset, biting her bottom lip. "Rachel, talk to me." He said in a reassuring voice.

"You wouldn't understand." She said, her voice almost quiet.

"Rachel, please." He said.

Rachel sighted as she slowly got up. "I just need time." She said.

And she left. Leaving Sebastian with confusion and hurt.

For weeks, Rachel avoided Sebastian, only glancing at him a few times. And he respected her choice to take time for herself. It made him feel unhappy, but he respected her choice. He could at least do that for her.

OooO

Time passed and it was already March 3rd. Sebastian smiled as his mother sang happy birthday to him, a plate of pancake with a candle on the top in her hands.

"Joyeux anniversaire mon bébé." Sophie said as she hugged Sebastian and planted a kiss on his left cheek. "Je t'aime."

"Moi aussi." Sebastian said.

It was a Saturday, and he had taken the habit of studying on Saturdays, but he had decided that since it was his birthday he had the right to not do anything. Plus, he didn't really felt like studying. It was his 18th birthday and he was supposed to be happy, but he knew something was missing.

He didn't remember much of his birthdays with his dad. He was 3 when he left, so he didn't really remembered anything about him. When he was 5, his mother married Matthew, well, Sebastian called him dad, because for him he was more of a father than his biological father was. Every year, Matthew and Sophie surprised him with a cheesecake. They would even let him choose the dinner's menu. Then Matthew died, and Sebastian spent his 10th birthday with his grand parents in France, his mother having come to visit. All of his next birthdays had been spent with Rachel and his mom. Except this year apparently.

The doorbell rang and Sebastian came to open it and found Rachel on the doorway, she seemed a little bit nervous.

"Happy birthday." She said with a small smile.

Sebastian smiled. All he wanted to do in that moment was taking her in his arms, but he wasn't sure he should.

"Thanks." He said, as he thought about the million things he wanted to say to her.

"Can we talk?" She asked.

He nodded with a small 'of course' as he let her enter and they walked to his room. They both sat down on Sebastian's bed, a small distance between the two friends.

"So... I took time to think, and I realized it was stupid to stop talking to you because of pride, or whatever this is I'm feeling. Anyway, I missed you." She said, before turning to Sebastian. "So how are you?" She asked.

"I'm... I'm fine. And you?" He said.

"I could be better, I guess." She shrugged. "My parents... they decided to get divorced." She said.

"Wait, really? How do you feel about it?" He asked, worried about her.

"It doesn't matter I didn't came to talk about me." She said, displaying a smile that he knew wasn't completely sincere, as if she wanted him to believe that she was okay. But he knew her, and he knew better. "I mean, it's supposed to be your day after all." She said as she elbowed him lightly. "Aren't you supposed to decide what to do?"

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes. "I just want to be with you honestly." He said as he looked at her in the eyes.

A smile formed on Rachel's face and she wrapped her arms around his neck, wrapping him in a warm embrace. He wrapped his own arms around her back, resting his head on her shoulder as he closed his eyes, enjoying this moment. It really wasn't anything special. But somehow, maybe because they had been away from each other for some time, it felt incredibly comforting. Just to be next to her, to hold her... he knew he just could never be away from her for too long. He had missed her way too much.

OooO

"Do you sometimes think about what if one day we weren't friends anymore?" Rachel asked.

Rachel and Sebastian were laying on his bed on a Wednesday's afternoon. Sebastian frowned at Rachel's question.

"Not really." He answered. "I mean, I barely survived when we stopped talking for a month."

Rachel chuckled. "Stop exaggerating. I'm sure you were fine."

"Okay, I may be exaggerating a tiny bit. But seriously, you know it's not the same without you." He said. "I still don't understand why you wanted some distance between us."

"I... needed some time for myself. There were some things I needed to figure out." She said quietly.

He nodded, knowing she didn't want to talk about it.

"However, I do want to know what you've been up to during this month." He said with a smirk to try and lighten the air.

"Not much happened. Except maybe my parents hitting me with a 'hey, we're gonna get divorced, just so you know'." She said ironically. "Oh, but I did make up with Kurt and Mercedes." She added.

"It's a good thing." He said.

"Yes it is." She said. "What have you been up to?"

"Nothing extremely interesting. I did start to look for universities though."

"Really? Which ones?" She asked as turned herself to lay on her belly.

"Honestly I just tapped 'universities where you can study journalism' and a bunch of websites appeared. They are some universities, like Colombia or UCLA, that I would love to get in, but I know I probably won't."

"Don't say that! You are so smart, stop belittling you or your capacities!"

"Even if I did got in, I don't have the money for that." He said.

"And? Have you ever heard of scholarships?" Rachel said as Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying, don't assume you are not capable of getting in if you haven't tried. Plus, if you went to Colombia, that would mean we would be in the same city." She said with a smile. "And that would be awesome."

"I'll think about it." He said.

It seemed to make her happy as she rolled back on her back. Sebastian always knew Rachel would leave one day, since that day she ran to him as she happily said that she wanted to be an actress on Broadway like Barbra Streisand. Sebastian always knew that it was an inevitability and that one day she would leave him to live her dreams in New York. But he, on his side, had never really know what he wanted to do or where he wanted to go. But now, there was a possibility of going with Rachel in New York. That way they wouldn't be separated, he thought. And apparently, Rachel was very much for this idea.

OooO

This night he made a dream about him and Rachel, he didn't question it. It wasn't even a very 'explicit' dream, they were just making out. And he guessed it was a normal reaction from the brain after what had happened between them. It wasn't anything to be worried of. He didn't succeed getting back to sleep after it, though.

"Good morning! Did you make sweet dreams?" Sophie asked Sebastian.

He almost choked on his orange juice as he heard it. He tried to compose himself, because it was really nothing. Right?

"Yeah, I... I did." He finally answered. "And you, have you... slept well?" He asked.

"Not really." She said. "I'm not sleeping well lately, and I think it may be why I feel tired every time. Plus I got nausea sometimes, and I really hate this. Je veux juste avoir un peu de sommeil, si ce n'est pas trop demander."

"Maybe You should go to the doctor for your nausea?" He said.

"I don't know." Sophie said. "I think I'll wait a few days to see if it passes. Anyway, what's the plan today?"

"Going to school." He simply answered.

"Yes, I figured, but don't you have anything special today, or I don't know, an exam?" She asked.

"Nope. Just a normal day." He said as he shook his head.

"Alright. We'll have a good day then." Sophie said with a smile as she kissed Sebastian's cheek. "Oh, and say hi to Rachel from me, I haven't seen her lately."

"Will do." Sebastian said as he hurried towards the door. "Bye, mom!"

When he entered the school's first building, he spotted Rachel and walked towards her. Just trying to forget the images of his dream.

"Hey," he said as he saw her frowning face, "are you okay?"

"I sent my application to NYADA yesterday." She said. "I just really hope I'm going to get in."

"Rach, if anyone can get in, then it's you." He said to reassure her.

"You're right." She said as she took a deep breath. "I've waited for this all my life. I am going to crush this."

"That's the spirit!" Sebastian said. "I know you can do it." He said.

And she smiled at him, that kind of smile that meant that she was grateful, with a glint in her eyes.

"Alright I have to go, I have Spanish. See you later!" She said as she tiptoed to kiss his cheek and left.

He wasn't sure why, but he felt his cheek flush. But then again, it didn't mean anything.

OooO

Weeks had passed, and it felt like Sebastian and Rachel's friendship was back to normal, although they both knew it somethings changed, in some way, and that they didn't act the same way towards each other anymore. Like for example, Sebastian would be careful when he was tickling Rachel, because he didn't wanted it to be 'inappropriate' or anything, and he she no longer slept over at his house. But minus this details, yeah, they back to their 'best friend' friendship. And that was how Sebastian considered Rachel, as a best friend. He had to admit that yes, there had been a short time during which he had been a tiny bit confused, but now it was all over.

Quite frankly, everything was doing great in his life. He had sent applications to various university, even those he didn't even think he would be accepted into, 'for the sake of it', like Rachel had said. He still worked with the help of Mr. Johnson and he still had good grades. Really, everything was working out for him lately.

But when his mom asked him to take a seat, Sebastian somehow felt like it wasn't for much longer.

"I have something important to tell you." Sophie said, with this serious voice that she only used when something very important was happening. "I went to the doctor two weeks ago because the nausea was still persistent as well as the fatigue. The doctor said he was worried and that he wanted to do some tests and I didn't tell you anything because I didn't want you to worry before I even got the results." She said.

Sebastian felt his pulse rush as he was waiting for the worse.

"The result came in yesterday," she said, "and turns out I have a kidney failure." She said.

It was like he couldn't hear what she was saying after that. He heard what she said, but it was like he couldn't take it. And suddenly, the worse thing that could have happened occurred. His mother, the person he loved the most, the person he knew he would always love and whom he knew would always love him, the person he cared the most about was sick.

Nothing could have prepared him to that news, but he felt like even if he didn't really understand what his mom was explaining to him he had to seat and listen to her. Even as he felt his heart break.

He owed her at least that. He owed her everything.

OooO

 **So... I know this chapter is shorter than usual, but I just really wanted the following to be in Rachel's point of view. Anyway, it's almost fall break, which means I will finally have more time to write, so I am planning to post the next chapter in not too long.I hope you liked this chapter, and please please please, I just really would love if you could review this story, just to know what you think of it. Anyway, see you next chapter ;)**

 **Translations:**

 **"Joyeux anniversaire mon bébé" means "Happy Birthday my baby"**

 **"Je t'aime" means "I love you"**

 **"Moi aussi" means "me too"**

 **"Je veux juste avoir un peu de sommeil si ce n'est pas trop demander" means "I just want to have some sleep if it's not too much to ask."**


	5. I Will Be There

**A.N./ Hi, and welcome to this new chapter of We Keep Loving Anyway, from Rachel's point of view this time. Things are getting pretty serious now, so here we go...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

Rachel held Sebastian close as he cried in her arms. He seemed helpless and heartbroken. And she knew how much it affected him. She knew how much he loved his mother and how much he cared about her. She knew that right now it felt like his whole world was falling apart. She heard him sobbing for long as she tried to hold him as tight as she could, trailing soft kisses on the top of head as she whispered that it was going to be okay. She knew it probably wasn't going to be okay soon, but she wasn't going to be with him until it was.

In Rachel and Sebastian's friendship, it seemed like Sebastian was the most emotionally strong and stable. And really he was. It was mostly her who was stressing about school, or her future, or most recently her breakup. Sebastian had always been the one to hold her and reassure her. The only time when he had really needed her, when Matthew died, Rachel hadn't been able to be there for him because he had been sent away to France with his grandparents. Now he was worse than ever and she just really wanted to ease his pain, but she didn't really knew how. So she was just going to be his best friend and be there for him.

She didn't know how much time it had been when he had stop crying and was just snuggled silently in her arms, because the time didn't matter. She draw circles with her hands on his back and he seemed to relax just a bit.

Moments after, Sebastian straightened up and laid his head on Rachel's shoulder. He took a deep breath and sniffed. She took a paper tissue with one hand, careful to not move Sebastian, and handed it to him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Not good?" He answered. "I mean obviously but..." He didn't continue his sentence.

"It feels surreal?" She asked, to which he nodded.

"I mean, this world is just really shitty." He said. "First my dad, now my mom..."

"What did she tell you?" Rachel asked. "About her state."

"She said that it was pretty advanced. She needs a kidney transplant." He said. "I'm going to go to the hospital to run some test to determine if I can give her one of my kidneys. And in the meantime she has to go to the hospital three times a week for a dialysis. But there's a surgery needed before the hemodialysis."

Rachel nodded. "And how is she doing?" She asked.

"I don't know." He said. "She says it's okay, that she is going to be fine, but I feel like she is only saying this because she doesn't want me to worry."

"Of course, she's your mother." Rachel said.

"It's just... It's like she thinks I'm still some little boy whose dad just died and she wants to protect me by keeping me the farthest away from the problem." He sighted heavily. " but I'm not a kid anymore, and she has a serious health issue and I want to help her." He said.

"I know you do." Rachel said as she kissed the top of his head.

Sebastian took her hand and laced her fingers with his.

"Thank you for being here for me." He whispered.

"I will _always_ be there for you. You know that, right?" Rachel said.

"I know."

OooO

The weekend passed quickly. Sebastian stayed at Rachel's home on Friday night, and they did their first sleepover in over a month. Then Sebastian insisted on coming back home to check on his mom so Rachel came with him because she wasn't going to let him by himself when he was like that. They spent their entire Saturday together, not talking very much and watching Sebastian's favorite movies. But Rachel knew that Sebastian didn't really wanted to talk, he just needed her presence. She stayed the night and only went home on Sunday evening because she had some homework to do. He seemed to be a little bit better when she left, taking him in a long hug before leaving.

On Monday, when Rachel arrived at school, she waited for Sebastian just to check on him. She saw him walking down the hallway and she almost ran to him. She took his hand in hers, Sebastian smiling to her as she did so.

"How are you feeling today?" She asked.

"Better." He answered. "I guess I 'assimilated' it now." He nodded.

"You're going to be okay?" She asked.

He nodded and she squeezed his hand to show him her support.

She let him leave to go to his Maths class and she herself walked to her Biology class. She tried to focus on what the teacher was saying but it wasn't easy. She couldn't help but think about Sophie. Sophie was one of the most kind, considerate and sweet person Rachel knew. She was almost like a second mother to Rachel, especially considering that her own mother wasn't there very much. She saw how Sophie kept smiling just to pretend that there was nothing to worry about. But Sebastian was right, they weren't kids anymore and they knew better. She just hoped Sebastian's mom was going heal and be okay again.

Before lunch, Rachel went to her locker, where Sebastian joined her. She dropped the books of the class she had had this morning and closed her locker.

"Alright, let's go." She said as she started to walk.

"Rachel?" They suddenly heard behind them.

They turned around to be face to face with a brown haired girl.

"And Sebastian!" The girl said as she smiled.

"Marley?" Rachel asked, astonished. "Oh my gosh is that really you?"

"I think so." Marley said as she chuckled.

"I can't believe it!" Rachel said as she took Marley in her arms.

They hugged for a little while before they broke the embrace, and Marley also gave a small hug to Sebastian.

"Wow. It's been so long!" Sebastian said. "It's been..."

"7 years." Marley said.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel said excitingly.

"We moved back to Lima, during the weekend actually." Marley said. "It's good to be back here, especially since I've met some familiar faces."

"Do you want to come eat with us?" Rachel asked. "We have so much to catch up on!"

"Sure! It will be just like old times." Marley said.

They all walked to the cafeteria, Marley explaining to Sebastian and Rachel how her new house was in the same neighborhood where she used to live. It was kind of crazy to think that Marley was there right now. She used to be one of Rachel's closest friend in primary school. She often played with her and Sebastian. Then she moved away to California during the summer before 6th grade. And now she was back!

They took their plates and joined Mercedes and Kurt who were already sat at a table.

"Hey!" Rachel said as she sat down between Sebastian and Mercedes

"Hey... who is _she_?" Kurt said as she pointed towards Marley.

"Guys, this is Marley. We used to be friends when we were kids." Rachel explained.

Marley waved as Kurt nodded. She sat down next to Kurt, opposite to Sebastian.

"Welcome then I guess." Mercedes said.

"So, Marley, you have to tell us all about California." Rachel said.

"Well... it wasn't that special. I mean we were in a town that wasn't much bigger than Lima, it's called West Covina. The weather was warmer though, obviously. Oh, I did went to Los Angeles once." She said. "But other than that, I liked my school and I had very good friends. West Covina is 2 hours away from the beach, 4 if there's traffic, so sometimes we went to the beach on Saturdays."

"It seemed to be cool." Sebastian said.

"It was." Marley said with a smile. "And what about you?" She asked.

"Nothing really happened." Rachel said.

"Rachel dated her first boyfriend this year." Sebastian said.

"Sebastian!" Rachel said as she elbowed him in the stomach.

"Ouch!" He said.

"Aw, there's nothing to be ashamed of Rachel. A lot of people don't date before after High School." Marley said.

"It's not that." Rachel said. "It's just... it ended badly."

"Oh." Marley. "Well I'm sure you will have more luck in the future!" She said.

"Maybe." Rachel said.

"For real though, I can't believe you two are still friends." She said.

"Always." Sebastian said as he grinned at Rachel.

"I mean I _tried_ to get rid of him but it didn't succeed." Rachel said as Sebastian elbowed her playfully and they laughed.

"What she means is... we will always be best friends because we are stuck together." Sebastian said.

"Why?" Marley asked.

"I don't know. I miss her when we're apart for a long time but I can't seem to know why." Sebastian said as Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Anyway... So Marley, I'be been told you used to be friends with Sebastian and Rachel. But we're you and Sebastian _more_ than friends...?" Mercedes asked.

Sebastian almost choked on his water and composed himself, shaking his head no.

"Oh, so it was before..." Kurt said.

"We were in fucking elementary school, what did you think I was doing?" Sebastian said.

"Before what?" Marley asked.

"Before he became a player." Mercedes said.

Marley eyed Sebastian carefully, smirking. "So you're a player?" She said, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't listen to them, they are exaggerating." Sebastian said.

"Oh come on. You've basically slept with half the people in this room." Kurt said.

"That's not even true." Sebastian said as he rolled his eyes. "Maybe a quarter."

Rachel scoffed. "I don't even understand how you can be proud of it."

"We have different priorities Rach." He answered with a wink.

Rachel rolled her eyes. She knew what were Sebastian priorities. Getting into a good College, helping his mother to get better, making his mother proud, herself, but certainly not getting laid. Even if he pretended so. It was funny when she thought about it, how Sebastian had always acted like that tough guy who didn't care about anything. But Rachel knew him, and she knew he was so much more. He was kind, even if he could be very annoying sometimes. And he was so caring. It wasn't easy getting into the tight circle of people Sebastian considered as 'important', but once you were, you knew he would never let you slip out of it. And that was why Rachel knew how difficult the news about his mom was for him. He had talked, said that he just didn't know what to do and that he didn't want her to suffer. She knew that the procedure that was needed before the hemodialysis as well as the dialysis were expensive and that Sebastian was worried about how they would be able to pay all of that. He wasn't in the best place and she saw how sad and worried he was every time. But right now, he seemed happy, and that was enough for now.

"What?" Sebastian asked as he noticed Rachel starring at him.

"Nothing." She lied.

OooO

Rachel took a bite of the lasagna her father had made. They were only two at the table, Hiram and her. They often ate dinner only the two of them, but it seemed different now. Even if Shelby wasn't home before late, they knew she would eventually come back home. But Shelby hadn't been home, not since that day Hiram and her had had a very bad fight and Shelby had stormed out, saying she was going to sleep at her office. Rachel had been flabbergasted, but she had thought that maybe some distance from each other would help them. She thought she was going to come home, a few days later maybe. But she hadn't. Two weeks later she had found her two parents in deep conversation in the living room. It seemed serious, but at least for once, they weren't screaming. It was a good thing, she had thought, maybe now things were going to get better between them. But no, instead they announced her that they were going to get divorced.

"How was your day?" Hiram asked.

"Good." Rachel said. "Oh, Marley came back to Lima."

"Marley Rose?" Hiram asked.

"Yes." Rachel nodded.

"Oh, you two were very close friends back in primary school. Not as close as you and Sebastian, but still." Hiram said. "By the way, how is Sebastian doing?"

"He is..." She started as she searched for the right word. "I don't know... I mean I know it's hard for him, but at the same time he's..."

"Managing it?" Hiram asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Rachel answered.

"Sebastian has always been good at dealing with his emotions, that's what makes him so strong." Hiram said. "I've always known he would be able to take care of you. Now it's your turn."

"I know." Rachel said.

And she was going to do everything she could do to help him. That was exactly what she was thinking about as she sat next to Sebastian on his bed, reading the monologue she was going to perform for her audition. She glanced at her best friend and saw him worrying, his eyes on his laptop.

"What is it?" She asked.

"The cost of all this medical things... I don't know how we're going to pay for all of this." He said with worry in his voice.

"Didn't you tell me you could afford the operation?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, but then there are all the hemodialysis, it's one every three days." He said. "Our mutual is obviously not covering it." He sighted. "Maybe I shouldn't go to College, it's going to be too expensive."

"What? No, don't do that!" Rachel said.

"Rachel, I don't have any choice." He said.

"Have you ever heard of scholarships?" She said ironically.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Come on, I am not going to get a scholarship." He said.

"You're smart Sebastian, you could totally get a scholarship." She said as she got closer to him.

He laid his head on Rachel's shoulder, sighting.

"I am going to the hospital tomorrow, for the tests, to know if I can be my mom's donor." He said. "I hope I can, everything would be so much simpler that way."

"I can come with you tomorrow, if you want to." She said.

"You don't have to, I know you have your audition coming and everything." He said.

"I want to be there." She reassure him.

"Okay." He said quietly.

So the next day after school, Rachel joined Sebastian in front of the school and they both walked to the bus stop. When the bus arrived they both hoped in and sat in the back of it. Sebastian seemed stressed out and tired, and Rachel took his hand, giving it a little squeeze. He didn't let go of her hand as they got off the bus, nor when they entered the hospital, walked to the good department and at in the waiting room. He only let go when his name was called and they both entered the office.

"So, Mr Smythe, Eliza is going to take you to run the tests. It's going to take a while because there are a lot of tests and then we'll wait for the results, okay?" Doctor Reynolds asked.

Sebastian nodded to him and the intern led Sebastian and Rachel to an hospital room. She gestured for Sebastian to sit and got out of the room, coming with equipment.

"So, first of all we're going to do a physical examination." Eliza said.

Sebastian nodded as he sat on the hospital bed. Rachel took a chair and sat next to the wall, throwing him a big smile.

"Now, I am going to take a sample of your blood. We're going to use it to do a bunch of things, like determine your blood type or ass your hematological system."

"Okay." Sebastian said.

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" Rachel asked.

"It's not necessary." He said. "But... I wouldn't mind, if you wanted to."

Rachel rolled her eyes and moved her chair next to the hospital bed, taking Sebastian's hand in hers as she hold it. A few seconds later, the needle was in Sebastian's forearm. He seemed as though he wasn't feeling anything, but Rachel felt him lightly squeezing her hand.

"And that's done!" The intern said as she took the needle out of his forearm.

"And now?" Sebastian asked.

"Now I need you to take this," she said as she gave him a little container, "and go fill it there." She pointed the door of the bathroom.

Sebastian nodded and went there, coming back a minute later with the container filled up.

"Good." Eliza said. "Now follow me, we need a chest X-ray to asses if there are any lungs abnormalities. Then we will perform an EKG to asses your heart function."

OooO

A hour later, all the tests were finished and Sebastian and Rachel were sitting in a waiting room, waiting for the results.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yes." He answered. "Just a little bit nervous."

Some time later, Eliza came back and guided them to Dr Reynolds' office.

"So," the doctor said as the two friends sat down in front of her, "we've got the results. And I am sorry to tell you that you won't be able to give a kidney to your mother." She finished.

Rachel saw Sebastian's face falling before he composed himself.

"It turns out you are not compatible." She added.

"I understand." He simply said.

"But I want you to know that there are other options—" She started.

"I know. I've heard about all the other options." Sebastian said.

"Well, in that case, I wish you a good continuation." She said as she started to get up, Sebastian doing the same.

"I can do it." Rachel said.

Sebastian and Dr Reynolds both stopped in their track, the doctor eyeing Rachel carefully.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Maybe _I_ am compatible, maybe I can give her my kidney." Rachel said.

"Rach, you don't need to do that." Sebastian said.

"I want to." She answered.

"Rach, no —" he started.

"I don't care, I am going to do it." She answered firmly.

"Well, even though you have less chances to be compatible than Mr. Smythe because you are not related, there is still a chance."

"Then I want to do the tests." She said.

"You do know that this still is costly?" The doctor said.

"I know." She answered.

She knew her mom would probably kill her when she saw the receipt, but she didn't care. This was more important. He was more important. Rachel cares deeply about Sophie, and truly, when she thought about it, there wasn't much she wasn't willing to do for Sebastian. And she knew he would never ask her to do that, but she had made her mind.

"Alright then." Dr Reynolds said. "Eliza?"

The intern nodded and led them to an hospital room to run the same tests as Sebastian. Before they left the room to go take the x-ray, Eliza frowned, looking at a paper in her hands.

"Could you give us a moment, Sebastian?" She asked.

"Sure." He said.

He throw Rachel a small smile and left the room.

"So, before the x-ray, I have to ask you if you could be pregnant." Eliza said.

Rachel opened her mouth to answer before she closed it, her eyes widening. She would have said that no, she couldn't be pregnant because she was a virgin. But she wasn't anymore.

"I... I don't know." She said. "I mean, I... we, we used a condom, but..."

"You're not on the pill?" Eliza tried to finish Rachel's sentence.

Rachel nodded shyly.

"Okay, then I am going to give you a pregnancy test, and we'll be fixed." She said.

Five minutes later, Rachel was biting her nails while waiting to read the test on the pregnancy test. Rachel never bit her nails, except maybe during desperate time, but right now, she was so stressed she couldn't seem to do anything else. The instruction said you only had to wait three minutes, but it already felt like eternity. Finally, the timer rang and Rachel ran to the pregnancy test, taking it in her hands and looking at it. Negative.

Rachel left a sight of relief.

"Thank god." She said.

She hadn't even thought that she could have been pregnant before this day, but now that she had realize that it could have been a possibility, she was relieved. She couldn't have imagined what being pregnant would have caused to her future. Honestly, she felt like she had been carefree. She had had unprotected intercourse, of course it could result in a pregnancy, even more so because she wasn't on the pill. She could have at least take a plan B pill, or get a test or whatever. But she hadn't, and she felt really stupid for it now. But well, she had other things on her mind at the moment.

"Let's take the X-ray then." Eliza said with a smile and Rachel followed her out of the room.

OooO

When Sebastian and Rachel were back in the doctor's office, she was kind of nervous. She really hoped she was compatible with Sebastian's mother, because she knew that if she wasn't, then Sophie would have to be put on a waiting list for a kidney donation. Sebastian was understandably way more nervous than her. She took his hand in hers.

"I am sorry Ms Berry, unfortunately you are not compatible either."

She felt a lot of things as the moment. A little bit of anger, a little of guilt for giving Sebastian false hope, but it was nothing compared to when she felt Sebastian's hold on her hand weaken. It was almost as if he tried to pretend that everything was fine, but she knew it was not.

A few minutes later, they were out of the office, on their way to get out of this hospital. Rachel winced when she glanced at the band aid on her forearm covering where the blood had been sampled for what have felt like hours as she saw the red liquid in the syringe. Sebastian noticed her, a worried look on his face.

"You really didn't have to do that," he said, "I know how much you hate needles."

"It was worth it." Rachel said. "And even though it didn't led to anything, I would still do it anytime."

Sebastian smiled at himself and shook his head.

"What?" She asked.

"It's just... I'm lucky to have you." He said.

Rachel gave him a reassuring smile.

"We'll get through this." She promised him. "We'll find a way."

OooO

The next week, Sebastian's mom went to the hospital for the procedure that was needed before the hemodialysis. It was hard for Sophie and Sebastian, Rachel knew it, but at least she was going to get better.

The two friends were actually spending a lot of time with Marley recently. At first, Rachel wanted to because she knew Marley didn't really know anyone, except for a few people from primary school. But it turned out it felt like they had never stopped being friends. Marley had really been Rachel's only friend outside of Sebastian, and she felt like she could laugh and talk with her just like they used to. So they had even started spending time outside school, just the three of them.

But still, she wasn't blind. And she could see how Marley seemed closer to Sebastian than her sometimes, how she blushed sometimes when he smiled at her and how she looked at him. And it wasn't like she wasn't used to it, she had seen tons of girls and guys drooling over Sebastian. And she didn't care, really she didn't. But Marley was her friend, and she just didn't want her to have illusions.

"Can I talk to you?" Marley asked Rachel as the two of them were getting out of their History class.

"Sure, what is it?" Rachel asked.

"Do you think... maybe Sebastian could be... interested in me?" She asked.

Rachel opened her eyes wide. Then she composed herself and tried to find the appropriate answer.

"I am not saying he couldn't, but... The thing you should know about Sebastian is that he doesn't _date_." Rachel said. "It's just not his thing."

She really didn't mean to hurt her, she just didn't want her to have faith in something that was clearly not going to happen.

"Oh." Marley said.

She didn't say anything else after. Until she came to find her at the end of classes.

"I know you told me Sebastian doesn't date, but... I'm going to ask him out." Marley said. "I know he's probably going to reject me, but I want to try, you know?" She said.

Rachel simply nodded. What could she say anyway? It didn't seem Marley would listen to her anyway, and she didn't want to upset her.

But when Marley came at school the next day smiling from ear to ear, she knew something had happened.

"So... remember when I told you I would ask Sebastian out?" She asked. "Well I did, and... he said yes!" She said as she jumped in Rachel's arms.

"I'm, I'm happy for you." Rachel said, caught off guard.

There was no way in hell this was going to end well. So she searched for Sebastian, walking fast, and she was sure everybody around her could see how pissed she was.

"Sebastian Alexander Smythe!" She said as she approached him, and he turned to face her.

She knew how much he hated when she used his second name, but at least it would show him that she had something against him.

"What the..." He started.

"Are you serious?" She asked.

"About what?" He asked.

"You accepted Marley's date?" She said.

"And what about it?" He asked.

"I get that you want to have every person in this school, but Marley is my friend, and I don't want you to hurt her!" She said.

"And why would I hurt her?" He asked. "I... I like her, for real."

"What?" She said.

"Is it so hard to believe that I could actually have feelings for someone?" He said.

"No, that's not I'm saying! It's just... ugh!"

Rachel stormed off, not knowing what to answer him. And it infuriated her to realize that she didn't even know why she was mad.

She didn't answer any of Sebastian's calls after that because she knew he would just say that she wasn't being reasonable, and she knew he was right, and she just wasn't in the mood for that.

OooO

"Rachel," she heard her father call from downstairs, "your mom is there."

Rachel raised an eyebrow, she wasn't expecting it. She hadn't seen her mom in two weeks actually. She climbed down the stairs nonetheless. She found her mom waiting on the couch, gesturing for her daughter to sit next to her.

"How are you?" Shelby asked.

"Fine." Rachel answered.

"I know it's been a while since I came to visit, I'm sorry." Shelby said. "I had a lot do."

Rachel nodded. She didn't want to show her mom that she cared, that it actually hurt that she hadn't even called in over a week. Because if she showed she cared about that, it would make her weak. And Rachel wasn't weak. Especially not in front of her mother who had succeeded in everything in her life, apart from her marriage.

"When will you and dad be divorced?" She asked without looking at her mom.

"Probably in a month and a half." Her mom answered.

"Hmm." She simply answered.

"I... I found an apartment next to my work, in Yorktown." Shelby said. "I would like you to come, maybe during your weekends?"

"What? Mom, Yorktown is an hour away, I can't just go and leave everything behind me! I have my friends here, and my ballet classes, my singing classes, I have to prepare for my audition to NYADA which is next week..."

"Okay, I get it." Shelby sighted. "I'm just trying to spend some time with you, Rachel."

"You haven't done it in seventeen years, why now?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe because I want it to change!" Shelby said. "Listen, Rachel, I know I haven't been really present, and that you don't really need me now. But I know you're going to leave soon and I... You're my daughter Rachel, and I love you, you know that right?"

"I know..." Rachel said. "I love you too."

"I won't force you to do anything." Shelby said as she got up. "But just know that I'll be here if you need me."

With that she waved and left the house. A few seconds later, Rachel heard a knock on the door. Rachel got up to open it, wondering why was her mom would be back so soon. Did she had something else to say? Did she want to convince her? She knew she was the one who kind of told her mom that it was too late for a mother-daughter relationship, but there was a part of her wanted her mom to come back and to convince her. She didn't know why. She opened the door and found herself face to face with Sebastian.

"Hey." He said. "Can we talk?"

"Of course." Rachel said.

She led him to her bedroom, an awkward silence between them. They say next to each other on Rachel's bed, Rachel looking at the wall in front of her rather than her friend. She wasn't ready to confront him after what she had done earlier. She knew she was just being petty but... she also knew she had no right to feel like that.

"Marley wants us to go to the movies tomorrow." Sebastian said.

"Oh." Rachel simply said.

"But I will cancel if you want me to." He added.

Rachel turned her head suddenly, finally looking at him.

"Wait, really?" Rachel asked, disbelieving.

"Rach, you'll always come first." Sebastian said. "Well, second, since my mom is obviously number one but... you'll always be more important than any other guy or girl in my life. I thought we had established that already, but the other day when you left, I thought maybe it was because you thought you were threatened. So just to clarify, you don't need to. So yeah, I will cancel this date if you want me to."

Rachel juste looked at Sebastian for a moment. How could someone be so considerate of other people's feelings? He was literally the most caring person Rachel had ever met, and there he was being even more that she would have ever asked for. But at the same time she was kind of mad at him.

"Don't cancel it." Rachel said.

"Really? You're sure you're okay with that?" Sebastian asked.

Rachel nodded. "I can't believe you would even dare to ask me that."

"But I was just–"

"For the first time, you actually like someone, and I'm happy for you. I am, even if I had a ridiculous reaction earlier. Don't sacrifice your happiness for me." Rachel said.

Sebastian chuckled.

"What?" She asked.

"There are a _lot_ of things I would sacrifice for you, Rachel." He shrugged.

"Sebastian," she said authoritatively, "promise me you won't _ever_ sacrifice your happiness for me."

"What? Come on you can't ask me that." He said, before realizing she was actually serious. "Okay, okay, I promise." He said as he rolled his eyes.

"Good."

OooO

So Marley and Sebastian had gone to their date, and the next day Marley went to Rachel and proceeded to tell her about her amazing date with Sebastian. Rachel had listened, like the good friend she was, even reacted with smiles and gasp as Marley narrated her story. At least from what she had heard it seemed liked this date had gone well.

A week later, Rachel was laying on her belly on Sebastian's bed with a book in her hand. Sebastian was studying with a book that seemed to be about maths.

"So, Marley and you, are you... dating now?" Rachel asked at some point.

"I guess... I mean I have never done this dating thing, is it to soon?" He asked.

"Well it is a little bit soon, but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing." She answered.

Sebastian just shrugged.

In the days that followed, she saw them holding hands for the first time. She had stopped when seeing this, almost as if something wasn't right, before reminding herself that it was, because they were dating now. She had to admit that she felt some kind of pain though, seeing them like this. It wasn't jealousy, she had established already that she couldn't be jealous. Yes, after having slept with him she had needed space from him because she was feeling things she didn't understand, but it had been dealt with. It couldn't be jealousy. But she felt that slight pain in her heart as she saw Sebastian intertwine his fingers with Marley's. Sebastian had assured her that she had nothing to worry about, she would always come before anyone else. But in some kind of twisted way, Rachel had always been able to claim Sebastian as 'her own'. Not to say that she owned him or had some kind of power over him, but in some way, she had always been his and he had always been hers. Now, it almost felt like she was slowly losing him. Which was stupid, because she knew she wasn't loosing him. But she knew she would have to accept that she no longer would be the first person Sebastian would come running to when he had a problem or just needed someone. And it hurt.

OooO

Rachel glanced towards Sebastian who was on his laptop, wondering what he was looking at.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Checking my emails." He answered. "I actually sent an email to some guy who created an app to help you find a donor. I'm waiting for a response."

Suddenly, he widened his eyes, his mouth falling open.

"What is it?" She asked.

When Sebastian didn't seem to be able to answer her, she walked up to his desk and glanced at the screen from behind his shoulder. She gasped.

"Seb, you got a scholarship to Colombia!" She said as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "I'm so proud of you."

After a few seconds she realized that he wasn't returning her embrace, and she started to worry.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

His browns were frowned, and he looked sort of sad.

"Seb...?"

"I... I can't go." He said.

"What? Why would you say that?"

Sebastian sights, conflict on his face.

"My mom needs me. And we need money, and..."

He turns to her, searching for some kind of advice, some kind of help.

"What should I do?"

OooO

 **A.N./ And... end of chapter! Well, this one was longer than I expected it, but I hope you liked it. You can review to tell me what you thought about it, it would make my day. See you next chapter ;)**


	6. The End Of A Time

**A.N./ Hi! Here is the sixth chapter of We Keep Loving Anyway, this one is from Sebastian's point of view. Just before we start, just a little reminder that we are supposed to be in April right now... So since this chapter (like most of my chapters anyway) is going to take place on a pretty long period, by the end of this chapter it will be the end of the year.**

 **Also I wanted to thank the people who reviewed this story, it made me really happy to know what you thought about it .**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters**

OooO

"Don't you dare." Rachel said authoritatively.

She had suddenly got up, pacing the room and just stopping in front of him to talk to him.

"Rachel, I don't have a choice." He tried to explain.

"Sebastian if you do that I swear I will kill you." She said with a finger pointed at him.

Sebastian sighted, sat on the bed. Of course she wanted to prevent him from doing that. She wanted what was best for him, but right now she didn't understand that saying no was the best for him.

"We'll, we'll find a way." Rachel said. "You can't just..."

It seemed like she was starting to see he was right finally, her face falling as sadness seemed to find her eyes.

"My mother just started her hemodialysis, and we'll have to pay at the end of the month. I don't know if we'll have the money, and even if we do, we'll also have to pay next month, and the month after..." Sebastian explained. "I don't even know where I am going to find that money."

"There might be a way..." Rachel said, her brows frowned.

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked.

"Just... promise me you will actually think about it." She said.

"What is it?" He asked again.

"Maybe you could ask your dad." She said.

Sebastian simply chuckled.

"You can't be serious, right?" He asked, Rachel looking at him with her eyes that said yes, she was indeed serious.

"Rachel do you need me to remind you that he abandoned me?" He said.

"Your dad is a scumbag, we both know it." She said. "But you can't just not consider it."

"What makes you think he would give me money?" Sebastian asked. "It's not like the guy has ever done anything for me."

"I know but... maybe he will. Maybe he will realize that you're his son and he's been a jerk." She said.

"Yeah, maybe." He said.

"There's still a chance, it might be worth it." Rachel said as she sat down next to him.

Sebastian sighted, burying his head in his hands to think.

"Alright," he said after a moment as he lifted his head, "let's do this. Let's go to Texas."

They planned their road trip for the next weekend. They had bought their bus tickets, knowing that they would spend most of their weekend in a bus. He had tried to tell her that she didn't need to come but she had brushed him off, saying that she was going to come anyway. Rachel had always been stubborn, so it didn't actually surprised him. But maybe she was right and he actually needed her to be here. He hadn't seen his dad since he was two years old, and he didn't even remember him. If there wasn't his mom health issue, he would have chosen to never see him again. But he didn't really have a choice. So he actually was glad Rachel was going to be with him.

"We leave on Friday night." He said as he explained to Marley how he and Rachel were going to go to Texas for the weekend.

He had been vague. Only saying that he needed money because of his mom's hemodialysis.

"I wish I could come with you," Marley said, "but my parents wanted us to spend this weekend with the family."

He was actually relieved that she couldn't come, but he only told her that he understood. The truth was that she couldn't possibly understand the situation with his dad. Nobody got it. But Rachel did understood a bit, because she could read him like an open book. So if someone was to come with him, he wanted it to be her. Plus, it meant spending time with Rachel, and it seemed like he hadn't spend time as much time with her as he used to lately. Maybe it was because he had a girlfriend now.

The word still felt kind of weird. 'Girlfriend'. He was new at this 'dating' thing, so he actually had less experience than Rachel in that. But it was good enough. His relationship with Marley was going good. She was a very cute and smily girl. She was almost happy all the time, and it was a little bit of change. She was a virgin, though, and she wasn't ready yet. But he respected that and he was ready to wait. For once, he thought maybe people were right and maybe having a girlfriend or a boyfriend was a cool thing.

He kissed her as he told her goodbye, that he would see her on Monday.

On Friday evening, Sebastian came to Rachel's house with the car he had borrowed from his mom. He hadn't even told her mom he was actually going to see his dad, he had told her he was going to accompany Rachel for an audition. He just didn't know how she would react if he told her the truth.

Rachel opened the car's door and slid into the car, dropping her bag on the rear car seats.

"All right, here we go." She said as he started to drive.

They drove for half an hour, arriving in Cincinnati. Their bus was leaving in half an hour, at 9pm. They entered the bus and it left a few time later.

They were sitting in the back, next to each other. Rachel was next to the window, looking at the outside. It was going to be a long trip, but at least, he could talk to her. He felt like he wasn't quite up-to-date with her life, and he felt guilty for that.

"It's been a while since we've actually talked." He started.

She hummed in response.

"So... I haven't even ask you about your audition for NYADA." He said. "How did that go?"

"I don't know." She said. "It was a month and a half ago."

It was true that it was already mid April, and he felt like she hadn't told him about her life for a while now. He knew it was because of everything that had happened with his mom, she thought her life wasn't as important as that and that she shouldn't be bothering him with that. But she was so wrong. Even if he was going through something hard, it didn't mean she suddenly had to put her life aside.

"And what about your parents?" He asked.

"They are divorced. Since last week actually." She said.

"Rach, why didn't you tell me about that?" He asked.

"I don't know, it just wasn't important." She said as she shrugged.

Even as she said that, it felt like she wasn't telling him everything.

"You know you can tell me anything." He said.

"I know." She answered.

"So why aren't you?" He said.

"Because it's nothing, Sebastian, there are worse things going on and..." she started.

"You know this isn't some contest about who had the worse life, right?" Sebastian said. "Just because life is really shitty for me right now doesn't mean you can't be going through your own things."

"You don't have to tell me." He said. "But if you want to, I'll listen."

Rachel sighted.

"It's just... weird, you know." She finally said.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"It's always been us three, me, my mom and my dad, even though my mom wasn't home very often, she lived there. And now... it's just me and my dad." She said. "I know it's strange, but I wish we could go back to how it used to be."

"It's not strange, it's a normal reaction." Sebastian said.

"Everything is the same and so different at the same time." Rachel said. "My dad used to cook when he got home from work and he would always keep a plate for my mom, now there aren't any leftovers. When my mom came back late, I used to hear the door open in the night. When she came back earlier, I used to hear her and my dad fight. Now it's always so quiet. I know I should be happy, but I am not."

"A lot has changed, it will take some time to adjust." He answered.

Rachel laid her head on his shoulder.

"At least you're still here." She said, uncertain.

He knew she wasn't completely believing what she was saying. He had noticed how she had starting putting a little distance between them as he had started dating Marley. He knew she had done so because she thought it was the right thing to do, that he was dating now and she needed to put that distance between them. It was almost as though she thought he wanted this. And she couldn't be more wrong.

There was a time when Rachel could put her entire trust in him, and to think that she couldn't anymore, it made his heart ache.

He shot a glance at Rachel who's head was still on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed now, and she seemed so peaceful. He closed his own eyes, trying to fall asleep.

OooO

After a very long ride, the bus arrived in Dallas, Texas. They then took another bus, and arrived thirty minutes later in the little town of Hopkins. They got off the bus and Sebastian looked at his phone.

"The motel isn't far away, should we walk?" He asked.

"Yeah, let's do that." She said as they walked out of the bus station.

Arrived at the little motel, Rachel dramatically dropped her bag on the floor and sat on the bed.

"I've slept for at least eight hours but I feel so tired..." She said as she laid down on the bed.

Sebastian chuckled as he sat down next to her. "Do you want to take a nap?" He asked.

"Nope." She said as she sat up quickly and looked at her phone. "It's 5pm. Should we go now?"

Sebastian sighted. It seemed like there would never be a right time for this. For seeing one of the person he hated the most. He didn't hated him for something he had done, because quite frankly he could barely remember his dad. But that was why he hated him. Charles Lawson had left him and his mother and never came back. After that he had never called, never tried to contact him. And that hurt. To think that his own father didn't give a fuck about him.

"Sebastian?" Rachel asked again.

"Yeah, we should go." Sebastian said with a sight.

Rachel came closer to Sebastian and wrapped her arms around him from the side.

"I'll be with you the entire time, Seb." She said. "If you don't feel comfortable or if you just want to go, tell me and we'll leave." She said.

"Okay." He said as she gave him a kiss on the temple.

They went to the address that Sebastian had found in his mother's papers and arrived in front of a house. And there was a man, on a rocking chair on the house's porch, almost like a cliché. Charles saw the two friends arrive and got up as Sebastian and Rachel walked up to the porch.

"What are you doing here." He said coldly.

"Are you Charles Lawson?" Sebastian asked, just to be sure.

"In the flesh. Why?" He asked.

"I'm your son." Sebastian said first because he thought that yeah, maybe he should start by saying that.

"Sebastian?" Charles asked as he lowered his sunglasses. "Oh, wow, look at you being all grown up." He said with a chuckle. "You look a lot like your mother."

"Thank god I don't look like you." Sebastian let out.

"Oooh, I see there's a bit of spite in what you're saying. I guess you didn't come 'cause you missed me then." Charles said with a small laugh. "Why are you here then? You want something from me, right?"

Sebastian didn't answered, his jaw clenched.

"Come on," Charles said as he opened the door and gestured them to get inside, "we're going to talk about it inside."

He closed the door behind him and settled himself in a seemingly comfortable but really old armchair. Rachel sat on the sofa opposite to the armchair and Sebastian finally sat next to her.

"So, I heard you stepdad died a couple years ago," the man said as he lit a cigarette. "At least your real dad's still there." He said with a wink.

"You're not my dad." Sebastian said with spite in his eyes.

"Hey, that's not a way to talk to someone you need something from." Charles say.

And really, all he wanted at this instant was to leave this house and never see this man again. But Rachel took his hand in hers and whispered in his ear 'I know you don't want to be there but you have to, for your mom'. That was all he needed.

"I need money." Sebastian said.

"How surprising." Charles chuckled.

"My mother is sick and needs six thousand dollars worth of hemodialysis every month, and we don't have this money." He said.

"And you expect me to give it to you just like that? Why should I do that? If you want my opinion it's a little but presumptuous. Arrogant even." He said.

"Now listen to me jerk," Rachel said as she suddenly got up, a finger pointed towards Charles, "Sebastian is everything but arrogant, not that you could know since you cowardly abandoned him. If you had been a man and stayed, then maybe you would know that Sebastian is one of the smartest person, he is the most caring and honest person I know and you would be fucking _lucky_ to call him your son." She said, visibly mad. "Now, you clearly failed your role as his father since you've literally done nothing for him in his entire life but you could at least be a _decent_ human being and do that one thing for him." When she finished, Rachel was almost out of breath.

"Well," Charles said as he got up and clapped. "This pretty girl seems to like you very much." He said.

Sebastian wanted to punch him very badly, but he restrained himself.

"You know what, I'll do it, 'cause I'm a generous man y'know." He said as he disappeared in another room.

He came back with a check in his hand and he handed it with his hand.

"It was a pleasure to see you again." Charles said.

"Likewise." Sebastian said ironically as Rachel and he started to walked to the door. "But thank you, because I've been very well educated, not thanks to you."

They got out of the house and Sebastian took a deep breath.

"Gosh, I wanted to punch him so bad." He said.

"But you didn't and look what you have now!" Rachel said, pointing the fifty thousand dollars check. "You did it, Seb!"

He was suddenly so happy despite the displeasing encounter that he took Rachel in his arms and made her twirl, as they both laughed.

"We did it." He said.

"I'm proud of you, Seb."

"Well we should get going, we have a ride at 4am tomorrow."

They came back to the motel and just talked, mostly about nothing important. Then there was blank, and Sebastian felt like he had to be honest with Rachel.

"You know I'm still not going to university, right?" He said.

"What? But..."

"It's a lot of money, but it's not even enough for a year. How can I pay for all of this if I don't work full time?" He said. "And even with a scholarship, I still have to pay for everything else, and the cost of life is high in New York."

"I know but..." She sighted as she seemed to realize that there was nothing she could say that would change his mind.

She just hugged him tightly as she said that she was going to miss him. He told her that he would miss her too and she gave him a smile saying that they would both be okay. But he knew that he smile wasn't honest. She wasn't happy about his choice, as much as she said that she understood. But at least she accepted it.

But she was right, in some way. In a few months, The were going to be separated. And who could say that they would be okay? Sebastian knew that he needed Rachel just as much as she needed him. There were just so much of his life that was related to her. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy.

OooO

"I'm not going to College." He told his mother the next day.

He hadn't told her he had been accepted to Colombia with a scholarship, figured that since he was already sure he wasn't going to go, it would be easier to say if she didn't know he had had such a good opportunity.

"What?" Sophie asked. "Why?"

"You know why, mom." Sebastian said.

"Mon chérie, je suis ta mère, c'est moi qui doit prendre soin de toi, pas l'inverse." She said.

"But you need me right now, so I need to be there." He answered. "And you know nothing you say is going to make me change my mind."

"Indeed." Sophie sighted. "You've always been stubborn. Less than Rachel, but still." She said.

"Also, I paid the hospital for this month's cares." He added.

"You did? But how did you find the–"

"I promise I didn't do anything illegal or dangerous to acquire it." He said.

"I know you wouldn't, but..." Sophie started.

"Don't worry about it." He said as he kissed her cheek.

A few days later, Rachel knocked on the door of his bedroom and Sebastian opened it, seeing her beaming. She had a small envelope in her hands and seemed to be trying not to smile.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I've been accepted to NYADA!" She said as she jumped in his arms and he had to be careful not to fall backwards with her.

"That's so great I'm happy for you, Rach." He said as he wrapped his own arms around her back.

"I'm so, so, so happy!" She said.

"See?" He said as he took a small step back to look at Rachel in the eyes. "I told you you could do it."

"You did!" She said with a smile, before the smile started to falter. "But..."

"Hey," he said as he cupped her cheek with his hand, "don't be sad because I won't get to go to College too. You have the right to be happy."

She answered by tightening her arms around his neck and burying her head in the crook of his neck.

"What am I going to do without you?" She almost whispered.

"You'll ace this school, go to auditions and become Broadway's new sensation." He said, and Rachel giggled a little. "But I do have a demand. Promise me you'll save me seat for your Broadway debuts?"

"Promise." She said.

OooO

The end of the year seemed to come fast. He studied, went with his mom to the hospital, spent some time with Rachel and of course with Marley. The final exams came and he aced it, so that was one thing done. But the prom was coming and he couldn't ignore it anymore. It could be surprising, but Sebastian had always looked up to his senior prom. It was going to be one of his last High School memory after all, so it seemed like kind of a big deal. There would be a lot of people he didn't care about there, but he didn't really care. All that mattered was that the people he cared about were there.

"So, knowing you, I bet you've already decided what dress you're going to wear to the prom." He said to Rachel as they were eating.

They were at the school cafeteria, just the two of them plus Marley who had gone to the toilets.

"I'm not going." Rachel admitted.

"What? But Rachel why?" He asked.

"It's not like I haven't thought about it," she said, "but I don't have a date and I'll just look extremely pathetic." She said.

"Going alone isn't pathetic." Sebastian said. "And can you go with Mercedes and Kurt."

"Mercedes is going with Sam, 'as friends' like she pretends, and Kurt is going with Blaine, his new boyfriend." She explained.

"Well you can still go, Marley and I would love for you to come with us." He said.

"As a third wheel? Sure!" She said ironically. "Like I said, pathetic."

"There's nothing pathetic about you." He said.

"What have I missed?" Marley said as she came back to the table and sat down next to Sebastian.

"Rachel won't go to the prom." He told her.

"Rachel, you have to go!" Marley said.

"I don't have a date!" Rachel repeated.

"I can find you a date." Marley said. "Oh, actually there's this guy in my math class, he's like super smart but also cute and he told me about you a few times so I'm sure he would be glad to take you to the prom." She said.

She gestured to some guy at a table behind Rachel as she turned around and the guy seemed to see her as he winked. To be honest, the guy was pretty handsome.

"No." Rachel said as she turned back, seemingly not impressed.

"No?" Marley asked.

" _No_." Rachel shook her head.

"Well, I can find you other dates!" Marley said.

"No Marley, I just don't want to go!" Rachel said.

"I'm just sad for you... It's going to be an amazing night, and I'll have my amazing boyfriend with me." Marley said as she took his hand and kissed his cheek not once, but four times.

Rachel winced and Sebastian couldn't blame her. Turned out Marley was really... clingy. She always wanted Sebastian and her to go out on dates or walk hand in hand. And it didn't bother him to do this things, but she wanted to be with him every single time, it just became tiring sometimes. He liked her, he really did, but he was starting to realize that she might be a bit much for him.

Even Rachel seemed to realize that. She still hung with the both of them, but it was more for him than for Marley. He knew sometimes she felt uncomfortable when Marley started to act as if Rachel wasn't even there.

"Anyway, not to be rude or anything but this is exactly the kind of things I want to avoid at prom." Rachel said as she took her trail and got up. "So see you later I guess."

Rachel left and Marley took the opportunity to wrap her arms around his neck.

He knew he would go to the prom because Marley would force him to go. But really, what was the point now that Rachel wasn't going to be there?

"Is there a problem baby?" Marley said with a pout.

"No, no, everything's fine." He lied.

OooO

Prom arrived fast, and although Rachel didn't plan on going, she had decided that she was going to help Sebastian to get ready, and that was why she was at his home, lecturing him about why he hadn't showered yet, and he told her that he was going to shower later but she answered that he didn't have the time to.

"It's your Senior prom, Seb, it's important." She said.

"Says the girl who isn't even going." He replied.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she gave Sebastian his shirt and pants.

"Go and put that on." She said.

He went to the bathroom to get dressed and came back in the bedroom. Rachel handed him his blazer and he slipped it on.

"And now... the bow tie!" She said dramatically as she helped him tie the bow around his collar.

She took a step back to check him and smiled as her eyes seemed to be watery.

"What?" He asked.

"It's just... I feel proud." She said as she fanned her face with her hands as if to prevent herself from crying.

"Rachel, don't cry." He said as he chuckled.

"But look at you!" She said. "You're all dressed up and ready to dance at the prom, and you graduate in a few days."

"I really can't convince you to come?" He asked with hope.

"No, it's too late anyway and I don't have a dress." She said. "But I won't regret not going, so don't worry about me. Just... enjoy it, for the both of us?"

"I will." He said as he gave her a small hug.

They went downstairs and Rachel waived at him as he left with his mom's car to pick up Marley. He knocked on the door of the Roses when he arrived. Marley's mother opened the door and Marley who was waiting for him in the living room came to greet him with a kiss. Marley's mother snapped a few pictures of the couple and then they left.

When they entered the school's gymnasium, Sebastian had to admit that he was kind of impressed. The theme was 'under the sea', so you couldn't really blame him for having thought that the decorations would be cheap and tacky. But it was actually kind of cool, so that was a good thing. Even the music wasn't completely cringe.

As he went to take drinks for Marley and himself, he spotted Kurt and his boyfriend on the other side of the room. They were talking and laughing with each other. He had to admit, they were cute together. He also saw Santana and Brittany, who were dancing with other cheerleaders.

He came back to Marley and gave her a drink as she thanked him. When they finished, he glanced at Marley and saw how she was eyeing the couples that were dancing.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked as he presented his hand.

She nodded with a shy smile and took his hand, as he lead them to the center of the room, where people were dancing. They danced for a bit before one of Marley's friend asked if she could stole her and he let her go after giving her a kiss on the cheek. He went back to the side, observing the people in the room, as he noticed Finn Hudson dancing with a girl. He would be lying if he said that even after all this months he still didn't want to punch him again. But he wouldn't do it.

"Where's Rachel?" He heard next to him.

He turned his head and saw Quinn Fabray with a drink in her hand.

"She didn't came." He answered.

"Too bad. We could have pretend to be a couple in front of Finn." She said as she took a sip of her drink.

"Don't you have a date anyway?" He asked as he saw a football player that seemed to be waiting for her just a few meters away.

"I'm sure he would be okay with it." She said with a wink as she left him to join her date.

The rest of the night went well, Santana Lopez was elected prom queen, Ashton Platt was elected prom king. Overall it was a good night, even if he was starting to feel like he and Marley were slowly drifting apart. He texted Rachel, sending her 'wish you were here', to which she didn't respond.

OooO

"I'm a little bit nervous." Rachel said.

The two friends where waiting for Sebastian's mom in the living room with their gowns on. There were going to head to School for their graduation.

"But I'm also excited." She said, smiling from ear to ear. "We're graduating Seb! We did it!" She almost shouted.

"I guess we did." He said with a smile.

They exchanged a small smile and Sophie arrived in the living room, insisting on taking pictures of them, a proud smile on her face.

The ceremony wasn't anything he hadn't expected. Names were called and people went on stage to take their diploma. He was a the end of the list because of his last name 'Smythe' but he was willing to wait. Finally, the ceremony ended and the people left the auditorium, a crowd of parents, students and teachers forming in the hall and the hallways.

He stayed with his mom for a while, then went to greet Hiram who unexpectedly was with Shelby. Then he spotted Mr Johnson in the crowd and headed his way. The teacher seemed to notice him approaching, smiling.

"Hello, Sebastian." Mr Johnson said.

"Hello sir." Sebastian said.

"So, how does if feel to be graduated?" The teacher said.

"I don't feel very different, even though I think I should feel different." He answered.

"It's normal." Mr Johnson said. "This moment will feel special in a few years, when you will remember it."

"I guess so." He said.

"I've heard you turned down a scholarship to Columbia." Mr Johnson said.

"How do you...?"

"Your mother told me." The teacher answered. "I talked with her earlier, she is very proud of you. I am too, even though you turned down this opportunity, I'm sure you had your reasons. You're a good kid, Sebastian. I know you will succeed in the end."

Sebastian thanked Mr Johnson for what he had done for him this year and then he joined Rachel who was with her parents.

Sebastian felt like this day seemed strange. It was the last time that they came to this High School, where they had been for four years. It was kind of when he had finished middle school to start High School, except that this time, he didn't know what was next.

OooO

Marley spent two months with her parents in Canada to see the rest of her family so he didn't saw her very much after graduation. It didn't bothered him, he realized. He spent most of his summer with Rachel, especially since it was going to be their last times spent together. But the day when Rachel had to start packing came and he decided to help her, just to spend some time with her again.

Sebastian looked at the walls of Rachel's bedroom. They were filled with photos. Some of them with Rachel and her parents, some of them of Rachel with Kurt and Mercedes, but most of them of Rachel and Sebastian. One of them was taken on his 6th birthday, his mother was also on the photo, Matthew was the one who was taking the photo. He remembered this day. They had gone to the ice rink for the first time, and it had been very fun. They were just kids, had been friends for less than two years, and they were already inseparable.

There was also a photo of them that had been taken on Halloween when they had been 9 years old. Rachel was disguised as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, and since she had wanted them to match, he was disguised as a lion. If he was honest, he wasn't even ashamed of that photo, even if he did look ridiculous, because they were together, and he still remembered that day as a fun day.

One of the photos had been taken on their first day of High School, Rachel was grinning from ear to ear, Sebastian had his arm around her shoulders and the two seemed oddly happy of this new step of their life.

It was already four years ago, and it seemed so long ago. And it was weird to think that right now was maybe the last time that he would be in this room.

Rachel stopped packing and sat on her bed with a sigh, looking at the wall in front of her absentmindedly.

"I still don't realize that in a few days I will be in New York and leave all of this behind. I'll leave all of you behind." She said with sadness in her voice.

Sebastian sat next to Rachel and wrapped his arm around Rachel shoulders as Rachel laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you so much." She said.

"Me too, Rach." He answered.

She closed her eyes, as if to carve this in her memory, as if it would all be gone soon. He closed his eyes to try to do the same. Just to remember how it felt to hold her, the sent of her hair... all the things that made her who she was.

OooO

And the day Rachel had to leave arrived. She had dropped by the day before to say goodbye to Sophie and had said goodbye to her parents just now, before the two friends left the house to hop in the car, heading for the bus station. They hoped off the car as they arrived and headed toward where the bus was supposed to be. She was going to leave, it was imminent, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't crushed. But he should be happy for Rachel, she was taking the first step towards reaching her dream, so he plastered a fake smile on his face.

"You're gonna do great, you know that?" He said.

Because he knew she would, but she seemed to doubt it a little. She seemed nervous. The bus arrived and people started to enter.

"I think it's time for you to go." He said.

Rachel nodded slowly and then jumped in his arms, holding him close. He held her tightly, not wanting to let her go.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too, Seb." She said back.

It was a long hug, as if none of them wanted to let go. But they had to at some point. So he decided to be the one to break the hug. She smiled at him one last time, her eyes filled with tears. She was holding his hand, and she slowly walked away, Sebastian gradually let go of her hand, until he wasn't touching her anymore, and he was left with just watching her hair floating in the air as she walked away and hopped on the bus.

He saw her sitting on her seat and waiving at him through the window until the bus left and he was all alone. He suddenly realized just how much he was going to miss her. How would he even do without her around?

He wanted to be happy happy for her, he really wanted to, because he loved her and he was supposed to be happy for her. But as much as it was a new start for Rachel, it awfully felt like an end to him.

 **A.N./ And... end of the chapter, end of the year... I wonder what you thought about this chapter, so please review, I would love that :). Next chapter will be from Rachel's point of view and we will see her new life in New York...**

 **Translation: "Mon Chérie, je suis ta mère, c'est moi qui doit prendre soin de toi, pas l'inverse" means "Honey, I am your mother, I am the one who's supposed to take care of you, not the contrary".**


	7. Seeing You Again

**A.N./ Hello! I am back with the seventh chapter of We Keep Loving Away, from Rachel's point of view. I also am sorry because I know it's been a while since I posted the last chapter and thank you for bearing with me. Anyway, Rachel is now living in New York while Sebastian stayed in Lima and it's her first year of College, so we'll see how's her new life...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee not any of its characters.**

OooO

 _Three months later, in late December_

Rachel got out of class, sighing. Finally, her day was finished. She knew College was going to be hard, she knew her Musical Theatre major would make it even harder, but she was extremely exhausted everyday after school. But at the same time, she was happy to be here, to be doing that, because it had always been her dream, and to think that she was now at NYADA studying Musical Theatre, that she was slowly getting closer and closer to where she aimed to be, it felt king of satisfying. But also extremely tiring. She just hoped she was going to get good grades because she wasn't ready to give up yet.

She got out of school and headed towards her apartment, that she shared with her roommate, Hazel, a girl from NYADA majoring in Dance. She entered the flat and saw that Hazel was with a few of their friends.

"Hi Rae!" Sydney shouted.

"Hi girls!" She said as she greeted her friends.

She walked towards them and kissed Sydney, Hazel, Jennifer And Brooklyn on both cheek and then sat on the couch next to them.

"I am so tired..." Rachel said.

"I bet you are," Jennifer said, "A girl I have Gender Studies class with said her dance teacher has been crazy lately."

"Yeah, well Mrs Holloway is exigent but a good professor. » Rachel answered.

"My Biology professor has a problem with me." Hazel said. "I swear every time I just as much as say a _single_ world she is hissing and accusing me of disrupting the class. I mean, it's not my fault your class is boring!"

"Come on girls, let's be strong, it's only the first quarter of this year." Sydney said.

Rachel nodded and waived at her friends before leaving them to go study in her room. At least it was already December 20th, so Christmas break was almost there. She couldn't wait to come back home to see her dad, her mom, Sophie... and Sebastian. She hadn't seen him in 4 months. Sure, they had stayed in contact, but it wasn't the same as seeing each other almost everyday. At first, they used to call each other every single day, but then it became more of a weekly thing, because both of them were busy and it was hard to find a time when they were both available. But nonetheless, they knew they could never not be in touch. They needed each other, and even if Sebastian wasn't in New York, she knew he was just a call away.

And he knew she would always be here for him too. She still remembered when he had called her in early November to announce her that Sophie had found a donor and that she was going to have a surgery in the week, she still remembered the joy in his voice, he sounded like he had cried, but of happiness. She had never been more happy for him, and if she was honest, she had cried too, on her end of the phone.

She was nervous of seeing him though. She loved him just as much as she did before she left, but they had been apart for so long, she knew things would be different.

"Hi dad!" Rachel said through the phone.

"Hi Honey, how are you?" Hiram said from the other end of the phone.

"I'm fine and you?" She answered.

"Good, very good. I can't wait to see you in a few days." He told her.

"Well I am currently packing my stuff, and I can't wait either." She said.

"They are... some things I want to talk about with you." He said, his voice seeming a bit nervous.

"Like what?" She asked.

"Don't worry about it, we'll deal with it later." He answered.

Honestly, Rachel had noticed for some time that when she was talking with her dad, there was something weird, almost like he was hiding something from her. But she didn't want to push him so she let it go.

"Anyway, are you excited to see Sebastian?" He asked.

"Yes, of course." She answered.

And it was true, she was indeed excited, because she had missed him and calling him once a week surely wasn't as good as seeing him. But she was also nervous about it being awkward. She wanted to say nothing would have changed but she knew better. They had been apart for 4 months, and she had been living in New York for 4 months, she knew she had changed, and she knew Sebastian probably had too. So yes, it would be different, but that didn't mean it was going to be different in a bad way. At least she hoped so.

"I'm glad you both kept in touch with each other, you've been friends for years, it would be a shame to throw that under the bus." Hiram said. "Anyway, I'm glad we'll be able to talk."

"Are you not telling me something? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" She said.

"I know, but..." Hiram said.

"I love you dad, I want you to know that you don't have to be scared about telling me things." She reassured him.

She heard her dad sigh at the other end of the phone.

"I'm gay, Rachel." He said after a moment.

"I... What?" She asked, taken by surprise.

"I like men." He explained.

She didn't say anything for a few seconds, trying to process it.

"Have you known it for long?" She asked.

"No, I've known it for a few months now, after your mom and I got divorced." He said.

"Did you... ever loved her?" She asked, wondering.

"I... I guess not. I thought I loved her." He answered.

She didn't say anything, nodding even though her dad couldn't see her.

"Rachel?" He said since Rachel wasn't saying anything.

"Yes, sorry I blacked out." She said. "I... you know it doesn't change the way I see you?"

"I wouldn't blame you if it was disturbing for you." He said.

"Honestly, I can't say it isn't unexpected to me, but it's who you are and I will just have to just... process everything."

"Okay honey. Well, thank you for not freaking out." He said with a chuckle. "So... I am just asking this but if it's too soon for you I understand, but... would you like to meet my boyfriend?" He asked.

"Of course, I'd love to meet your boyfriend dad!" Rachel said. "I want you to be happy and it's only fair to..." She stopped, realizing something. "Wait... since when do you have a boyfriend?" She asked.

"Three months..." Hiram said.

"Dad! _Seriously_?" Rachel said. "Wow, you really don't tell me anything anymore."

"You didn't tell me about the guys you dated since Finn either." Hiram said.

"That's because I didn't date anyone!" Rachel said and the two laughed. "For real though, I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me dad, and I can't wait to meet the man who makes your heartbeat speed." She said and Hiram chuckled.

"Well, see you soon!" Hiram said.

"See you soon!" Rachel said before her dad hung up the phone.

The next days were as usual, exhausting, but she was comforted by the idea of going home soon. She met up with Ben the day before she was supposed to leave, because she had finished her classes early and she needed her dose of positivity.

"I can't wait to go back home." She said.

"Me neither." Ben said. "My sister is very annoying, but I missed her. Is it weird that I know she's going to make my holidays a hell and I'm still excited to see her?"

"I didn't thought you weren't getting along at all." Rachel said.

"It's not that, it's just... we are like day and night, she is nothing like me, and I'm nothing like her. I guess we just have completely opposite personalities. But we love each other, obviously." He said.

Ben was the most adorable person Rachel had ever met. He was kind, funny, generous, and overall an amazing person. Plus, he had adorable curly black hair that he let her touch sometimes.

"And you... Anyone you really want to see?" He asked.

"I mean, yeah, obviously." She just answered.

She had to hide the blush that crept on her cheeks. And she didn't even knew why. She knew he wasn't dating Marley anymore, and she didn't know if he was... seeing anyone. She would be lying if she said that during the months that they had been apart she hadn't thought about the night they had shared. They had never talked about it. And it was true that this night had been followed by a very confusing time on her side, which is why she had distanced herself from her best friend. But Sebastian seemed to want everything to be back to normal, so that's what they did. Even though something inside her had told her to tell him that maybe, just maybe they could try something else. But she had soon realized how crazy and dumb she sounded and now she didn't thought about him in this way at all. She knew she didn't. Why would she still feel this way anyway? It was just... a weird phase led by hormones and feelings because of her break up. Now everything was supposed to be back to normal.

She just hoped nothing would be awkward.

OooO

Rachel got out of the bus and took a deep breath, she had weirdly missed the Ohio air. She walked out of the bus station only to see her father waiting for her a few meters away from her. She walked up to him, hugging him.

"I missed you honey." Her dad said.

"Me too dad." She replied.

They parted, and walked towards the car, and then headed to their home. Hiram opened the door and they entered the house, Rachel taking in the view of her childhood. The living room was exactly like she had left it, and she was suddenly overwhelmed by a flood of good memories. It definitely felt good to be home.

"I'm sure you must be tired of your flight." Hiram said. "You should go rest while I cook for tonight."

Rachel nodded and climbed the stairs. She went to her room and opened the door. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes. Sleep came to found her soon enough, and she slept peacefully for a couple hours. She woke up and stared at the ceiling above her. She took her phone and checked the screen for the time, that was displaying 5pm. She had some time before her dad's boyfriend arrived and the Christmas dinner started. She had a bit of apprehension, but she knew what she wanted to do. She got up and and went down stairs, telling her dad that she was going out for a while.

Before she knew it, she was in front of the Smythe's house. She knocked on the door, and a minute later, the door was opened by Sophie.

"Rachel!" The woman said when she saw her, taking her in her arms. "It's been so long!"

"Definitely too long." Rachel said, returning Sophie's embrace.

"It's so good to see you!" Sophie said.

"You too." Rachel said. "How are you doing?"

"Good." Sophie said. "I'm getting better and better everyday."

"I'm glad to hear that." Rachel answered.

"Oh, but I don't want to keep you too long, you're probably excited to see Sebastian!" She said.

Rachel nodded as she waived one last time at Sophie and headed towards the stairs. She ended up in front of Sebastian's bedroom door. She hesitated a bit, not knowing quite how she was supposed to act. She wanted to say that she could act like nothing had changed, but things had changed. She took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. She heard a 'coming', and then foot steps, then finally the door opened on Sebastian.

And here he was standing in front of her, still so much taller than her, because why wouldn't he be. And truly, he seemed just like he was when she had last saw him in person, just like an old memory. His light brown hair that may seem messy but Rachel knew how much he took care of his hair, his kind green eyes that still melt her away, nothing had changed in him. Her heart fluttered a little bit but she ignored it.

"Rachel?" Sebastian said, his mouth opened, visibly in shock.

"Hi." She said with a small smile.

"I can't believe you're here!" He said and he took her in his arms.

And she was so thankful he did, because she wasn't sure she would have done it herself, but dang, she was so happy he did, because she had missed it way too much. She wrapped her arms closely around his back, burying her head in the crook of his neck. She knew she had missed it, but it still all felt like a bit too much to hold him again after all this time, and she didn't want to let go, wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as she could.

But all good things have an end, and ultimately, she felt Sebastian pull back. He took a step back to look at her, taking in her new haircut and the way she dressed.

"I... Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I mean, you said you didn't know if you were coming back home for the holidays, and... and you're here." He said, seemingly still very happy by her arrival.

"I guess I wanted to surprise you." She said with a smile.

"Well I'm glad you're here." He said.

They went to his bed and sat next to each other. Sebastian turned to Rachel to look at her, he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

Rachel had decided to cut her hair when she arrived in New York, deciding that she was on a new step of her life and she needed to show that. Now her hair fell on her shoulders.

"This haircut really suits you." Sebastian. "Seeing you here right now, it seems like you've changed, you've been moving forward, and I'm still here."

"Sometimes change isn't a good thing." Rachel said.

"Sometime it is, though." Sebastian said.

She felt a slight blush creep on her face. She hoped he wasn't talking about them being separated, but she knew he would never say that then being separated was a god thing. A part of her tended to think that maybe, just maybe, he was talking about when they had slept together. He probably wasn't talking about that, because he had seem to want to forget they had done that. So yeah, he probably wasn't talking about that. But she didn't know if she was disappointed by this or not.

"I'm going to meet my dad's boyfriend tonight." She said.

"Really? I didn't know he was..."

"Yeah, me neither." She said.

"Nervous?" He asked.

"A little bit?" She said.

"I'm sure it will be fine." He reassured her.

She kept his words in mind as she starred at reflection in the mirror, making sure she was perfectly presentable. She wanted this dinner to go as perfect as it could, because she knew how important it was to her dad. She took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom to go downstairs in the leaving room. She sat on the sofa, waiting for the man of honor's arrival. She suddenly heard the doorbell ring and her dad suddenly exiting the kitchen to go welcome the guest. Hiram opened the door and a man entered the house. He was a tad taller than Hiram, but not that much. He seemed nice enough. But she still didn't know him.

"Hi!" The man said as he entered.

Hiram stepped in between the two persons, and proceeded to make the introductions.

"Rachel, this is Leroy." He said. "And Leroy, this is my daughter Rachel."

She greeted Leroy and the three of them finally sat at the table and started the Christmas Eve dinner. Rachel had to admit, Leroy was a nice man. He was funny too, and he seemed caring. She could understand what her father liked in him. So now she knew her father loved and was loved by a good man.

After the dinner, Leroy said goodbye and left the house, Rachel saying good night to her dad before going to her room and laying down on her bed, sleep finding her quite early.

OooO

The day after, she went to her mom's house, which was an hour away from Lima. She had been in contact with her mother over the few months that she was away in New York. They didn't call each other that much, but still. And honestly, their relationship was going better. Rachel had learned to forget her mother's past actions and her mother tried to be the mother she was supposed to be for Rachel.

But she had to admit, it was kind of awkward to be eating just the two of them, one in front of the other. She was used to eat with only her father, but not with her mother.

"So, how is it to be back home?" Shelby asked as an attempt to break this awkward silence.

"It's good." Rachel said. "But also... weird?"

"Why is that?" Shelby asked.

"It's like almost nothing has changed since I left, kind of as if I had just left yesterday. I mean, I look around me, at the places and the people I've known all my life, and it's almost as if I'm the only one that changed." Rachel explained.

And she couldn't actually put her finger on what seemed weird, there was this feeling of nostalgia, but at the same time, she felt like she was out of place.

The next day, she met with Mercedes and Kurt at the Lima Bean. When she arrived they both were already there and she jumped in Mercedes arms before hugging Kurt.

"Oh my gosh, I missed you so much!" She told the both of them.

"Me too!" Mercedes said.

"It's been _way_ to long." Kurt said as he sat down.

Mercedes sat opposite to Kurt and Rachel decided to sat next to Mercedes.

"I have to say, seeing you for real is much better than by video chat." Kurt said.

"I know, right?" Rachel said.

"I have so so so much to tell you!" Mercedes said excitedly.

"We literally video chatted two days ago." Kurt said.

"Yes, but something happened yesterday..." Mercedes said.

Both Kurt and Rachel leaned in to hear Mercedes better.

"So remember how I told about this guy I had met at my school, who's a bit older than me?" She said.

"Marcus?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, that's the one." Mercedes nodded. "So yesterday evening I was taking a shower and and then I came back to my room and... I received a text from Marcus!"

"No way!" Kurt said.

"What did it say?" Rachel asked.

"He asked how I was, so I answered 'good and you' and then he was like 'Would like to go out for a coffee or something with me when you're back' and I said yes!" Mercedes said.

"Oooh, Mercedes I'm happy for you." Kurt said.

"Me too." Rachel said.

"Thanks guys." Mercedes said, lightly blushing. "But nothing has actually happened for now so let's not take this text for what it's not."

"But you're still able to hope." Rachel said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Mercedes said.

Rachel couldn't help smiling. From what Mercedes had just told them, but also from just being there with her friends again. It felt good. She had nonetheless noticed how Mercedes and Kurt had both changed, just like her. Kurt, in a way seemed more confident, more sure of himself. Mercedes on her side seemed more mature and composed. When she thought about it, it seemed like everything but this town had changed. As if it was a breach in the space and time continuum and that the world around it kept turning. She knew it was stupid, but she couldn't help but think about it. In a way, though, she was glad some things were the same...

The next day she was in the park with Sebastian, the two friends sat down on a bench. Rachel was so cold she had her scarf almost over a nose and she was hugging herself in an attempt to get a just a little bit more heat. She could see Sebastian shiver next to her, his hands shoved in his coat because he hadn't take any gloves with him.

"Why did we come here again?" She asked.

"I don't know." Sebastian shook his head with a chuckle.

They both laughed at how stupid the idea of coming to park in winter when it was this cold was.

"Maybe we should go." Sebastian suggested.

"Yeah, good idea." Rachel answered.

They hurried back to the Smythe's house and closed the door behind them when they finally arrived. Rachel felt the warmer temperature immediately and she sighted with relied as she took off her shoes and hanged her coat. They heard a soft melody being played and entered the living room quietly. Sophie was sat at the piano, almost playing casually, but the music that reached their ears seemed so beautiful and rich.

"Let's go upstairs." Sebastian said, not wanting to interrupt his mother.

They got into Sebastian's room and Rachel hurried under the covers, Sebastian picking his laptop on his desk before joining her.

"What do you say about a movie?" He asked.

"I say let's get it started." Rachel answered.

Sebastian chuckled lightly. They found a movie and Sebastian pressed play.

Rachel realized it had been quite a long time since they had done that, something that they used to do so often such as watching a movie together. It had been a long time since they had been that close too. She still remembered how they used to snuggle and Rachel would sometimes fall asleep, just feeling good in his arms. She missed that. She decided to come closer to him, just a little bit, and Sebastian pulled her to him, wrapping an arm around her tightly. Almost like an instinct, almost as if he hadn't even thought about it. She drifted her eyes away from the screen, looking at him. Her best friend, holding her. Really, it was something that he used to do, something that she used to think was so simple. But right now, she just didn't want this simple thing to end.

And she wanted to think that now, everything was back to normal, that she was back where she was supposed to be, with whom she was supposed to be. But she knew that in a few days, all of that would be over. So for now, all she could do was enjoy this moment as long as it lasted.

OooO

Rachel was walking home later that day when she heard a voice behind her.

"Well if it isn't Rachel Berry." The familiar feminine voice said.

Rachel turned around and found herself face to face with Quinn Fabray.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"In the flesh." Quinn said.

"I... I wasn't expecting seeing you." Rachel said.

"Well, I did used to live in this town too, so..." Quinn said.

"Anyway, what did you become?" Rachel asked.

"I go to Yale Law School." Quinn said.

"Really?" Rachel said. "That's great, I didn't know you wanted to do Law."

"Well, let's be honest, you don't know a lot about me." Quinn said.

"That's fair." Rachel said.

"So, what happened on your side?" She asked.

"Well I got into the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts." Rachel explained.

"Well done." Quinn nodded with respect.

"I know we never were friends or anything so it may be weird to ask this and you don't have to answer, but are you... happy?" Rachel asked.

"Weirdly enough... I am. I am studying in an Ivy League University, leaving in the greatest city in the world, I have friends that are real friends, I jog in Central Park on Saturdays... I just really love my life." Quinn said. "Are you happy?"

Rachel didn't answer right away, wondering about the actual answer to this question.

"I... I mean I knew it wasn't going to be easy so..."

"That's not what I asked." Quinn said.

"Yes, I'm happy." Rachel said.

But she knew it wasn't entirely true. She was in the school of her dreams, yes, but it was so hard and they were so many people so much more talented than her. And she had friends, but she couldn't help but think that she was so less cool than them. She wasn't undeniably happy, that was for sure. But it was expected. It was hard, but she would eventually be happy, realize her dreams and marry the love of her life and have kids and all that jazz. She just needed time.

OooO

"Who wants some cookies?" Hiram said as he put a plate of cookies on the table in front of the couch where Sebastian and Rachel were seated.

"Thanks, Hiram. I missed your cookies." Sebastian said as he picked up a cookie and brought it to his mouth.

"The pleasure's all mine." Hiram said with a wide smile.

Rachel took a cookie herself and took a bite of it, savoring the taste of her childhood.

"So, what happened between Marley and you?" She asked after a few minutes.

She knew she and Sebastian had broke up, but that was it. And she had only found out because one day she had asked about her Marley he had told Rachel that he wasn't with her anymore.

"I just... We drifted away I guess. She went to Chicago for her studies, and the long distant relationship didn't really worked out." He just said.

"Did you broke up or did she?" Rachel asked nervously, because she feared maybe she was digging to deep.

"I did." Sebastian said.

Rachel nodded and turned her head towards the TV.

"Hey, I was wondering," Sebastian suddenly said a few seconds later, "do you want to do anything for the New Year's Eve? With me I mean. But you don't have to, if you have plans or if you just don't want to, I get it."

"Not, it's not that." Rachel said. "I'm actually going home tomorrow."

"Oh." Sebastian said. "I thought you were staying a little longer."

"I would have liked that too, but I'm worried there will be to many people on the airport and with the late planes and everything I just don't want to risk it. Plus I think I should study." Rachel answered.

"Well I guess we won't be able to kiss at midnight, that's too bad, I was actually looking forward to that." He said ironically.

Rachel playfully elbowed him and they shared a small laugh.

"Also, there's something I still haven't told you about." Sebastian said, seemingly a bit nervous.

Rachel just nodded, not wanting to pressure him.

"I'm... I'm going to Colombia at the beginning of the semester." Sebastian said.

"Wait, really?" Rachel asked.

And she was so surprised, she swore her jaw was probably on the floor.

"I didn't know you had sent another application." Rachel said.

"Well, I did." Sebastian said. "And you know, my mother's doing better and better and she practically forced me to say yes when I received a positive answer. She made me swear to not say no for the second time and to take this second chance." He said.

Rachel smiled. That totally seemed like something Sophie would do.

"I'm happy for you." Rachel said as she wrapped her arms around him to hold him. "Wait, so that means we'll _both_ be in New York!" Rachel squealed.

The realization of that made her feel so happy. He was one of the things she had had to leave behind her when she had come to New York. And she had missed him so much, to think that he was going to be here with her, in the city she had wanted to be in for so long, it was amazing.

If he was there, everything was going to be okay, she knew it.

OooO

On the 29th's evening, Rachel was home and she used the 30th to study. But the next day, she was interrupted in her studying by her roommate Hazel.

"Come on, Rae." Hazel tried to convince her to come to the club with her. "It'll be so much fun!"

"I don't know..." Rachel said.

"You need to let loose, Rachel! Come on, we'll all be there, it will be awesome!" Hazel said excitedly.

"Okay, okay." Rachel said.

Hazel squealed and wrapped her arms around Rachel.

"Yeah, I'm _so_ happy!" She said.

Rachel smiled. She was going to have fun. And Hazel was right, she needed to let loose and not think about school or her future. And it would be with her friends, so it would be even cooler. And sure they were a lot different than her and than her old friends, they were more the "popular" type. And they were cool. And that was what she needed, cool friends.

Plus, she had decided to date again. Her breakup with Finn was so long ago, and yes it had been awful but she had moved on. She was finally ready to get out there again. And what better way to meet new potential love interests than in a club full of people?

The girls arrived in the club and Rachel heard the loud music in her ears. It was far from the kind of music she listened usually but it wasn't bad. Her friends started to dance to the music and she joined them. It was fun for a moment but then it just felt exhausting, like she _had to_ more than she _wanted to_. Maybe she did not like her life in New York as much as she pretended to. But it would get better once Sebastian would arrive, she felt it.

On the 2nd, school started again and Rachel got back to her routine. She might not think her life was perfect, but she was used to it, and in a way she liked to be back to normal. For this new year, she had took the resolution of making the most of living in New York and to audition for shows even though she was still in school. But in order to do that, she needed to fill her audition book, and for that she needed new music sheets. Which is why she decided to go to a music store she knew sold Musical Theatre related products. She picked up a _Funny Girl_ music sheet to examine it. She had tons of _Funny Girl_ 's music sheets, but she had left them at home.

" _Funny Girl,_ 'People'." She heard a voice say behind her. "An interesting pick."

"Even though the musical is well known, it is underrated. Not enough people realize how much of a masterpiece it is." Rachel said.

As she finished her sentence she turned to look at the person who was talking to her. She found a slightly older man, dressed professionally, with a beard and piercing blue eyes.

"True." The man said. "Although _Funny Girl_ is mostly famous for the actress who originated the role of Fanny Brice, I think it's not only Barbra Streisand but also the amazing score and book that make it a very good musical."

"Yes, exactly." Rachel said. "And the story and the plot also make it an interesting piece. A girl who doesn't fit the accepted standards of beauty who, against all odds, succeed in making herself a place in her art. But ultimately she's also consumed by her love for a man."

"With its big dance numbers and shining costumes, the really exhale this big Broadway style, but it's also a tragic story." The man says.

"I... totally agree." Rachel said.

The man chuckled and reached out his hand.

"I'm Evan, by the way." He said.

"Rachel." She answered as she shook his hand.

"So... What brings you here?" She asked tentatively.

"I'm usually here because I need something for my job, but for once, I just wanted to lost myself in music sheets and old vinyls." He said.

"What's your job?" Rachel asked.

"I'm a director actually, I currently direct a production of Sunday in the Little Shop of Horrors at an Off-Broadway theatre." He said.

"Oh, wow. That's impressive." Rachel said as she nodded.

"And you, what led you to this place?" He asked.

"I need to find something to fill my audition book. I just arrived in New York and I'm actually in my first year in NYADA but I thought I should try my luck." She said.

"A freshman student?" The man said as he raised his eyebrows. "Well, you honestly seem very mature for your age."

"I've always been told that. I guess that's because I've always known what I wanted to do." She said.

"Well, I would be lying if I said that talking with you wasn't very pleasant." The man said. "So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would love to see you again, and that I hope you would agree to give me your phone number."

Rachel blushed instantly. She wasn't used to getting hit on or being asked her number. But she wanted to give it to him, because he was cute, interesting and yeah... she just wanted to see where this would lead.

So she took of a price tag of a book and scribbled down her number before handing it to Evan.

"Thanks." He said. "I will surely make good use of this." He said as he put the price tag in his pocket with a wink.

Evan left the music store and Rachel found herself alone again with the Funny Girl music sheets in her hand.

Maybe finally something good would happen to her in this city.

A few days later, Rachel received a text from Evan. They talked for a bit and then he asked her out on a date. Rachel would be lying if she said that she had hesitated for even a second before replying yes. But could you really blame her? She had been instantly smitten by his charm. He was one of the very few people Rachel felt like talking to was challenging and really interesting. He seemed smart, for one. And he was undeniably charismatic. Also he had a beard, and he seemed very mature and Rachel couldn't deny that she found that hot. She knew she shouldn't go over her head and start to imagine something that wasn't there, but she was not. She wanted to know him more, and was curious to see what may or may not happen.

But she was still Rachel, and she was still nervous about this date. She asked Hazel's help for getting ready and her friend lended her a dress, helped her to curl her hair and put a nude lipstick on her lips.

She approached the restaurant where she was supposed to meet Evan with a bit of nervousness. But she was also kind of excited and proud of herself for finally going forward. Evan was already waiting for her and they both entered the restaurant, the waitress leading them to the table Evan had booked. The nervousness she might have had at the beginning quickly left her as she found herself deep in conversation with Evan, learning to know him and telling him about herself, talking about their favorite composer or lyricist.

"I have to ask," Rachel said at one point, "how old are you?"

"I'm 24." Evan answered. "I graduated with a Master of Art last year and started working just after that." He explained.

"Oh wow, you're six years older than me." Rachel said. "Well, I'm only in my first year so I haven't accomplished much yet." Rachel said.

"I'm sure it will change." He said. "You seem like a very driven person, and probably very talented, so there's no doubt in my mind you will succeed eventually." He said

"Thanks." She said.

The rest of the dinner went extremely well and at the end of it she replied 'me too' when Evan told her he would like to see her again. She didn't know why he had this effect on her, but she was intrigued by him, and she liked his company. She felt like maybe it could be her second chance at love after all.

OooO

A few days later, Sebastian arrived in New York. Rachel went to the airport to greet him and helped him settle in his room. Then she suggested to give him a little tour and he accepted with a small smile. She showed him her school, the places she frequented often like the coffee shop where she usually met with Ben, then they went to her apartment. She opened the door and the voices of girls chatting went to their ears.

"So this is my apartment." Rachel said as she closed the door behind them.

The noise seemed to be heard by Rachel's friends and they noticed Rachel and Sebastian.

"So, who's your friend Rae?" Jennifer asked, twirling a strand of her hair with her finger and bitting her bottom lip.

All of her friends seemed to have changed their attitude after noticing Sebastian, playing with their hair and staring at him with interest and it seemed like she was back in High School. But she didn't care. Sebastian was here, it was all that mattered.

"Girls, this is Sebastian, my best friend." Rachel said.

She had hesitated before saying the term 'best friend', because they had been away from each other for so long, maybe he didn't considered her his best friend anymore. But quite frankly, even thought they were less close than before, he was and would always be her best friend to her. And she didn't regret saying that, as she saw Sebastian smiled shyly next to her.

"And this is my friends," Rachel said as she then pointed to each of them, "Jennifer, Brooklyn, Hazel who's also my roommate, and Sydney."

The girls all waved at him or got up to greet him but Rachel took Sebastian by the hand and lead him to her bedroom before they had the chance to do anything.

"Well, your friends are... something." Sebastian said after Rachel closed the door.

"Yeah I know, sorry about that." Rachel said.

"It's okay. At least I know you're well surrounded." Sebastian said. "You don't really need me anymore."

"I will always need you, Seb." Rachel reassured him.

But she knew it wasn't entirely true. She used to think that she needed him by her side, but four month had gone by, and she was fine. Sure, everything wasn't perfect, but she didn't need him constantly with her, she just needed him in her life. But it didn't matter. Sebastian was here, her best friend was here. And she was so happy because she had missed him so much. So maybe she didn't absolutely need him, but she wanted him to be beside her.

"It's okay that you don't need me." Sebastian said. "I'm just glad you can feel at home in this city."

She smiled even though it was far from the truth. Sebastian came closer to her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close. Rachel wrapped her own arms around him, burying her head in his chest. And she let a sight of almost relief at the familiar feeling. They used to hug before, but obviously because of the distance it wasn't an habit anymore, and she realized how she felt so much better like that. She could stay like that forever and it wouldn't bother her. Actually, she wished she could stay like that, because in Sebastian's arms, it felt like nothing else mattered.

Now that he was here, everything would be better. It had to.

OooO

 **A.N./ And... scene! Okay, so that was the end of the chapter and I truly hoped you will like it. As usual I would love to see your review, and also a quick reminder that if you see a grammar/orthography mistake or something else don't hesitate to review as well, English is not my first language and sometime I don't realize I've written something that doesn't make sense. Anyway, the next chapter will be from Sebastian's point of view so see you soon!**


	8. Pretending Nothing Changed

**A.N./Hi! Here is the new chapter from Sebastian's point of view. I also wanted to thank those who have reviewed this story, you can't imagine how much it makes me happy and how much it motivates me, so thank you! Other than that, I realized that I take a loooot of time to update every time and that it may also be because my chapters are way too long, so I'm going to try to make them a little bit shorter (emphasis on try).**

 **Anyway, let's get back to the story.**

OooO

Sebastian got out of the subway and walked in the busy street. There always were a lot of people in the streets, and even more so around 7pm. It was a lot different from Lima, but was accustomed by now. It surely still felt weird, to think that a few months prior he was in Ohio, working at a Walmart, and now he was in the biggest city in the country, studying journalism in an Ivy League University. He couldn't help but feel incredibly lucky for being there, especially on a scholarship, even after refusing the offer he had been given a few months ago. And now he was here and he was going to make the best of it.

The time had passed by so quickly, it was already almost the end of March, marking the end of the third month that he had been living New York and going to Colombia.

And now he was close to Rachel. And really, what could be better than that? He was next to his best friend, could go to her apartment to see her, could take care of her. When they were apart, they were moments when he had felt really down, when the pressure of his work was too strong and his mother's health was going badly. Those were the moments when he had just wanted to go to Rachel's house and lay on her bed next to her while she distracted him by singing softly. Except he couldn't, because she was in New York and he was in Lima.

But now he just had to take the subway and he was in front of her apartment's door. Since he was in New York, they had tried to hang together just like they used to, but it was different, they both had school, and New York was a big city, they weren't a few streets from each other like before. But they tried to make the most time for each other, tried to hang out at least once a week. And he couldn't deny how good it felt to finally be near her again, to be able to see her and to hug her and to talk to her. Simple things he used to be used to. But now he finally had that back, and he never wanted it to go again. To be honest, their relationship was not how it used to be, but he knew with time it would eventually go back to how it used to be.

So he sometimes spent time at Rachel's apartment, that she shared with a roommate and that was almost always filled with her friends. He didn't dislike them, they just were very different from what he had imagined Rachel's friends to be. Yes, sometimes they hit on him and it could be annoying, but they were her friends nonetheless so he bore them.

There was someone who he hated though. Rachel's boyfriend. There wasn't a single person in this world Sebastian hated as much as he hated Evan Chernow, except of course his dad. Evan was so despicable he didn't even understand what Rachel found in him. Evan was the kind of person who though he was smarter than you just because he was older than you, and who though he knew better than anybody because he had a College degree. He always acted like he was somehow better than Sebastian and that made him want to punch him. He was just so cocky and full of himself.

He just didn't deserve Rachel. Because Rachel was the most driven, determined and hard-working person Sebastian knew. She was kind, and if she loved you, then you knew it, because she showed it in a lot of little different ways. She was just so wonderful and she deserved someone so much better than Evan. Even _Finn_ seamed like a better match for her. And Evan was _6 years_ older than her, for crying out loud. He knew Rachel though it wasn't an important factor, but he knew it was. They just weren't at the same step of their lives and he knew this would end badly eventually. And if Evan hurt Rachel, Sebastian wasn't sure he could promise not to hurt him. No, actually he knew he would hurt him.

Sebastian's walk was finished as he reached the building he was meant to enter. He took the elevator and knocked on the door. Alistair opened the door with a grin.

"Hey dude!" He said.

"Hi Alistair." Sebastian said as he entered the apartment.

Alistair led him to the living room and they sat down on the couch, where Levi was already seated.

Sebastian met Alistair and Levi at the beginning of the semester. They all were in the same History class, and they got along pretty great after having to do a class project together. Alistair was really kind and overall adorable, all the girls wanted to be with him because of his personality, and because he was kind of cute with his light blonde hair. He couldn't blame them, though, because he did kind of look like a guy from a boy band.

"So Sebastian, how's it going?" Levi asked.

"I'm good." He simply said.

He didn't really know what to say other than that anyway. He was tired because he had stayed up all night to finish an essay for one of his class, and was desperately in need of caffeine. But other than that, he was doing okay. He was slowly getting used to living in a big city, and he was thankful for being here.

"So," Levi said some time later, "what do you say we go to the club tonight?"

"Yeah, no." Sebastian said. "I need to sleep and to study and I can't do either of them in a club."

"Oh come on, it's gonna be fun! Think of all the ladies!" Levi said.

"And guys." Alistair added.

"Right, sorry." Levi apologized. "Anyway, you're way to focused on school and everything, you need to get _laid_ my dude."

"I don't–" Sebastian said.

"Yes you do." Levi nodded.

Sebastian sighted. The truth was he hadn't been 'with someone' since he had broken up with Marley. Not that he had been heartbroken or anything. Marley was a very beautiful and nice girl, but Sebastian had just realized that he didn't feel as much for her as she did for him. It just wasn't fair to pretend it was okay. But nothing happened after that. He had made out with some guy once, but it didn't go farther and that was all. He didn't even know why, because he had always been the kind of person who liked to do them and leave them, but he had changed. Maybe seeing Rachel happy with someone made him want to have this too. But no, that couldn't be it because her relationship with Finn wasn't exactly 'couple goals'. So it had to be something else, but he didn't know what.

"Maybe Levi's right, it would be cool to go out." Alistair said.

"Okay." Sebastian gave up. "Let's do this."

And so that was how he found himself in a club full of people, music blasting from the speakers, with a drink in his hand. He decided that he had the right to let go sometimes and he drank. Not too much though, certainly not as much as Levi, but more than Alistair, who liked to be prudent and who wanted to be sure one of them didn't end up wasted.

"Hi." He heard next to him.

A tall black guy was standing next to him with a smirk.

"Just saw you and though I should shoot my shot." He said with a wink.

The guy was handsome. No, he was blatantly hot. And to be honest, if this had happened a few months sooner, he would probably be in the bathroom with him already. But weirdly enough, he didn't even wanted to. So he rejected him. And the problem wasn't that he wasn't in the mood, it was that he didn't know why. And it was starting to bother him.

OooO

"Sebastian?" Professor Hansen called him at the end of the class. "May I have a word with you?"

Sebastian picked his stuff and stayed after all the students got out of the classroom.

"I was very disappointed by your latest essay." She said as she handed him his paperwork.

"I know it wasn't my best work, I apologize. I will do better next time." Sebastian answered.

"Next time is very vague." Mrs Hansen said. "Which is why I'm asking you to do this homework again. For in two days."

Sebastian sighted. Well, he wasn't going to get sleep anytime soon. Mrs Hansen was tough, that was for sure, but Sebastian knew that was because she believed in him and in spite of everything she always pushed him to do his very best.

"I know you're capable of better, Sebastian." Mrs Hansen. "And that's why I expect nothing less from you."

Sebastian nodded and got out of class. While walking, he took his phone from his jean's back pocket and dialed Rachel's number.

"Hey." He said when he heard the ringtone stop.

"Sebastian, hi! How are are you?" She asked.

"I'm fine, just tired. And you?" He asked.

"Oh you know, I always got energy, even when I think I don't." She said and he chuckled.

"Anyway, I was wondering if we could hang out tonight maybe? I just really need to distract myself." He said.

"Oh... Well, I was supposed to go out with Evan tonight." Rachel said.

"Oh, okay. I get it, it's not–"

"No, wait! You can come with us, I'm sure it won't bother Evan!" Rachel said.

He wasn't sure of it. Being the third wheel was not his idea of enjoyment. But he just wanted to see his best friend so he didn't care.

"Okay then." He said.

He heard Rachel squeal at the other end of the phone before she told him where and when to meet them.

So he went to the restaurant Rachel had told him the address. Rachel and Evan were already there when he arrived and Rachel took him in his arms when she saw him. He opted for a respectful nod towards Evan, even if he didn't respect him at all, but he did it for Rachel's sake. He was just here for Rachel, because he wanted to spend time with her. And yeah, he had to spend time with one of the person he hated the most in order to do that, but he could do that, it was worth it.

"I'm glad you could come." Rachel said with a grin in his direction. "And thank you Evan for agreeing for Sebastian to join us."

"Anything for you." Evan said with a wink.

Rachel blushed but Sebastian just wanted to puke right now. He had to remind himself to breath and ignore him. He wasn't worth his attention.

"So how's school?" Rachel asked.

"Good I think." He answered. "I'm kinda happy of doing that."

It wasn't easy, but he worked hard. And there were people believing in him, and that was motivating even more. It was quite disturbing, to think that a year before he didn't even know what he wanted to do, but now he was determined to work in journalism. He really liked writing, and if people said he was good at it, than it was even better. For once, he really wanted it to work.

"I remember when I was a student just like you." Evan suddenly said, interrupting Sebastian in his thoughts. "Ah, those were the old times."

Really, who did he think he was talking like that? Like he hadn't _literally_ graduate a year ago?

"But now I actually have to work. I'm telling you, school is _nothing_ compared to what you'll be facing after your graduation."

And there it was, the disdain and arrogance that was so often in Evan's sentences towards him. He thought he was superior to Sebastian because he was older, which really didn't make sense but the guy didn't seem particularly intelligent either. He still wondered if Evan was just an asshole all the time or if he was just an asshole towards him.

"Anyway," Rachel added, as if she was sensing that Sebastian was uncomfortable, "I was walking and I passed by a small movie theater and they were projecting 'Yentl'." Rachel said.

"Oh wow, it seems like it's been years since you've literally _forced_ me to watch this movie." Sebastian said, thinking about the memory.

"Oh come on, you liked this movie." Rachel said.

"It's not my style, but I have to admit that Barbra was good in it." Sebastian said.

"As always." Rachel said, and Sebastian chuckled.

"I think her performance was lacking a certain emotion, personally." Evan added.

Sebastian ignored him and continued the discussion. The rest of the dinner went like this, Sebastian would just focus on Rachel and ignore her boyfriend. Once he had learned to ignore Evan's voice, the dinner was quite pleasant and enjoyable. At the end Evan proposed to pay for everyone, another act to show that he was the oldest and richest of them all. They got up and headed towards the exit of the restaurant

"I got to go to the toilets before we go." Rachel said as she left them and hurried to the toilets of the restaurant.

So now he was with Evan. An awkward silence settled in between the two.

"So, it seems like you don't like me." Evan finally said.

" _Wow_ , nothing gets past you Evan." Sebastian said ironically.

"I'm not surprise though, it doesn't seem like you like anyone." Evan said. "Except Rachel obviously, she seems to always be the exception."

Sebastian sighed. He had to remind himself to breathe and not pay attention to this jerk. He just had to wait for Rachel to come back, she would come back soon.

"Is that because you're jealous?" Evan said.

Sebastian clenched his fists. Evan was going to far. He just hoped he would stop because he just really wanted to punch him right now.

"I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you were jealous, I get that you want her." Evan said. "I mean she's _so_ hot, I would want to hit that to."

And that was it.

The punch was so fast Evan didn't even have the time to gasp or react. He just stayed here, disbelieving. Maybe Sebastian shouldn't have done that, but gosh that felt good. He left Evan there and got out of the restaurant, taking a deep breath of the outside air. And he had to be honest, he felt pretty happy. Nothing could ever make him regret punching Evan.

OooO

When he heard the pounding on his door, he knew instantly that it was Rachel. And he also already knew she was mad. He rushed to opened the door and found Rachel on his doorway tapping her foot on the floor. Okay, maybe he _did_ regret punching Evan just a little now.

"Hey, Rachel, how are you?" He tried to play it cool.

"Am I okay? Am I _okay_?" She said irritated. "How about how is Evan's _face_?"

"Okay, I maybe shouldn't have done that, but he deserved it." Sebastian said.

"How?" Rachel asked.

"He was being a dick." Sebastian shrugged as if it was evident.

"Seb, I know you and Evan don't go along well, but he's my boyfriend and I like him and you just can't go around and punch him." She said.

"I just don't get it." Sebastian said. "He's just so arrogant and disrespectful."

She looked at him and for a moment, it was like she understood where he was coming from, understood why he didn't like Evan. But then she looked at him with her sad eyes and he understood that what he had just said didn't matter.

"I like him, Seb." Rachel said.

Sebastian sighted. He really wanted to give her a full list of all the reasons why she shouldn't date Evan, and the list was long. But he didn't.

"Okay, I will try to be at least civil with him." He said instead.

"Thanks." She said.

She gave him a small smile and left. And all he was left with was a bittersweet taste in his mouth.

OooO

"Do you want something to drink?" Sebastian asked Rachel.

They were on the couch of Alistair's apartment, and Alistair and Levi were also there. He had wanted to introduce his friends to Rachel, because it was somehow something that mattered to him.

"No thank you." She answered.

"Not even a hot chocolate?" He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Don't tempt me..." Rachel said. "Well, _now_ I want a hot chocolate."

"Coming right up." Sebastian said as he started to get up.

"Don't bother yourself." Alistair said as he put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Oh, thanks Alistair, you're so sweet!" Rachel said.

"Wait wait wait," Levi said as he looked at Rachel, "I am going to help."

"I don't really need any help to make a hot chocolate Levi." Alistair said as he started to head for the kitchen.

"Oh come on, let's not make the lady wait." Levi said as he followed Alistair anyway.

Sebastian glanced towards the kitchen that was behind the couch only to see Alistair preparing the hot chocolate, and Levi just watching him.

"Here's your chocolate Rachel." Alistair said as he came back with the mug.

"Wait!" Levi said as he took the mug from Alistair's hands.

He handed the mug to Rachel with a smug look.

"Enjoy this beverage, Rachel." Levi said with a wink.

"Oh, thank you." Rachel said as she took the mug, perplexed.

"She's taken, Levi, what you're doing is pointless." Sebastian said.

"There's no harm in trying." Levi said with yet another wink.

Rachel chuckled and looked at Sebastian.

"Is he always like that?" Rachel asked.

"Nope. That's because of you." Sebastian said and Rachel laughed.

The rest of the afternoon went well, they watched a movie and then Rachel and Sebastian headed to the kitchen to go look for something to eat. Rachel sat on the kitchen counter and took a bite of the cookie Sebastian had just given her.

"Alistair's cute." Rachel said. "Maybe I should ask for his number."

Sebastian almost choked on his own cookie.

"I... Wait, what? You, I mean... Don't you have a boyfriend?" He struggled to say.

Rachel opened her eyes wide.

"No, not for me!" Rachel said. "I meant for my friend Brooklyn, he seems like her type."

"Oh, okay." Sebastian said as he tried to hide the blush on his cheek that was showing how ridiculous he though he was. "Obviously." He said.

And truly he didn't know why he had reacted like that when he didn't even liked Evan, but he guessed he still didn't want her to cheat on him. But at the same time he knew she would never cheat on Evan, she had been cheated on in the past and he knew she would never cheat on someone. But still his mind had wandered and he had somehow felt threatened. Why, he didn't know.

During the next few weeks, he started to feel like Rachel was becoming a bit distant. She wasn't acting weird or anything but he saw her a little less.

"Are you... avoiding me?" Sebastian asked one day.

"What? No! I mean, I don't think so." She said.

"Is it because of Evan?" He asked.

Because as much as he wanted to think that he was her priority, but if he was honest he still was worried that she would push him away.

"No, of course not." She said. "He doesn't like you, that's true. But I would never avoid you because of Evan or anyone else, Sebastian, you're more important than a boyfriend." She stopped and seemed to be thinking, a worried look on her face. "But maybe I unconsciously _did_ distance myself from you."

She seemed so hurt by that realization and he felt a weight in his heart.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to." Rachel said.

She took a step forward and hugged him.

"I love you." Rachel said, her head buried in Sebastian's chest.

"I love you too." Sebastian said as he words were caught in his throat.

He should feel better, to know that it hadn't been intentional, be he didn't. She was trying her best to make time for him and to maintain their friendship, but unconsciously she was pulling away. Just a little, a step at a time, but it was still enough for him to feel this distance slowly setting in.

OooO

Later that day, Rachel left and Levi suggested that the three of them could go to a club. He said yes. So the went. And he drank. A lot. Because he had this feeling of emptiness inside of him, he didn't know why, and he thought that maybe alcohol would change that, which was a stupid idea obviously. He danced with people, didn't really cared who the people were, he just wanted to loose himself. Until he recognized a girl who came to dance close to him. She was one of Rachel's friend.

"Hi," the girl said, "I'm Jennifer, you remember me?"

"Yes." He simply said.

"Cool." She said as she turned her back to him to dance close to him.

And really he couldn't care less about that girl. She was objectively pretty, but he didn't really give a fuck. She turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck and she leaned in to kiss him. He leaned back, surprised. He didn't felt like he had an obligation to kiss her just because he was single, he would understand if he didn't want to kiss her just because he didn't want to kiss her. But instead his first thoughts were of Rachel, of what she would think about this and how she would feel about this. And he hated this, that he couldn't seem to take her off his mind no matter what, because he wasn't supposed to feel like this. She was all he could think about, and he wanted it to stop. So he kissed Jennifer back. Because it had to be the only way of getting Rachel out of his mind for even a minute.

When he woke up and got out of Jennifer's apartment, he wasn't surprised to regret what had happened the night before. He felt guilty because he had used that girl and because he clearly didn't feel any different from the night before, nothing could change the way he felt. He was fucked. Because he had realized that he was in love with Rachel.

And really how could he not? She was beautiful, so smart and witty, driven and passionate in everything she involved herself into. So kind and loving, thoughtful, and so sweet. He had always thought this things before, but he just appreciated her, just wanted her to know that she was amazing and whoever would charm her would be lucky to have just a look from her. But he couldn't deny it anymore. Yes, he hated Evan because he was awful and Rachel obviously deserved someone better than him. But when he had thought that she wanted to hit on Alistair for just a minute, he hadn't felt disagreement and hate. It was jealousy. Because he knew Alistair, and he would be a good boyfriend for Rachel. But he didn't want Alistair to be Rachel's boyfriend, _he_ wanted to be her boyfriend. And the painful realization of that came with the realization that this wasn't going to happen. She had a boyfriend, and even if she didn't, she didn't like Sebastian, not like that. He knew it, and it hurt and he just wanted to pretend that he wasn't in love with her but he couldn't.

The next day he was a mess. He woke up late and didn't shower. Not bothering to do anything other than eating and watching TV. He didn't know what he was going to do bout his feelings and he didn't want to think about it. His phone rang and he got up to take it. Rachel's name came flashing in his eyes as if he had forgot about her. He was tempted to not answer and let it ring until she decided to stop trying to call him, but he couldn't. He was tempted to avoid her until he forgot whatever he was feeling, but he just couldn't stay away from her. Being near her while just being her friend was going to be hard, but it was still better than being far away from her.

 **A.N./ So here is the end of the chapter. I hope you like it and I can't wait to know what you thought about it! I guaranty you some pretty important things are going to happen in the best chapter so... stay tuned!**


	9. Meeting You Halfway

**A.N./ Hi! Here is the ninth chapter of We Keep Loving Away, from Rachel point of view. A lot of drama is coming so I hope you will like it.**

 **Let's get back to the story...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters**

OooO

Rachel was frozen. She saw Evan's lips moving but she couldn't hear what he was saying. She wanted to focus on what he was saying but she couldn't. The words he had just said still rang in her ears. 'I'm breaking up with you'.

It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Evan was supposed to be the one who gave her hope, the one that made her realize that her bad love story with Finn had just been a mistake in her path. He was supposed to make her believe that she deserved her happy ending, that love was real and it wasn't just something your parents invented to then tell you that they never loved each other.

"You're just so young." She finally heard after realizing what was happening. "You haven't been through anything and we can't understand each other."

She wanted to tell him that she _did_ understand him, that yes they were different but that was why they were so good together. She wanted to tell him to not give up on them, but instead she stood silent.

"I wish the best for you, you know." Evan said. "So... no hard feelings?"

Rachel looked at him, stunned. What was he expecting? For them to become friends and for her to pretend like she hadn't just been extremely hurt by him?

"Okay..." He said after not hearing a response from her. "Take care of yourself Rachel."

And he left.

Rachel closed the door behind him and went to her couch. She sat down. After a few minutes she got up and made herself some tea. She got back to the couch and drank her tea. Then Hazel arrived.

"Hey Rae, how's it going?" She asked as she entered.

"I'm fine and you?" Rachel asked.

"Good, good." Hazel said as she hung up her jacket. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked when she saw Rachel's face.

"Yes. I'm just tired." She said.

Rachel got up and headed to her bedroom. She closed the door and walked up to her bed. She slipped under her blanket, covering her head with it. Once she finally felt safe, she bursted into tears. She couldn't help it. Her world had fallen down and she didn't know what she was supposed to feel, what she was supposed to do. She stopped crying after an hour or so and she just laid in her bed. When Hazel knocked on her door and asked how she was doing she said she was fine. She didn't want to have to tell her everything that had happened and to tell her how she felt. It was too painful and confusing at the same time. She heard her phone ring several times, every time Sebastian's name lit up on the screen. She was tempted to answer, but something inside told her that she shouldn't. To tell the truth, she had noticed something wasn't normal between them. He had started to act a little bit differently lately. He still spent as much time with her as he could, as much time as he used to spend with her, but something was odd. When he was with her, it seemed like he didn't want to be. She would be saying something and turn around and see Sebastian looking at her with sad eyes. Of course he pretended that nothing was wrong, he was just tired or stressed about school. She tried to convince herself that he was saying the truth but she had to see the reality, Sebastian didn't want to see her, and it had to do with something she had done. But what? She wanted to know, wanted to understand. But at the same time she just couldn't ignore the fact that she was stupid and she had probably hurt him without even knowing it and he pretended to still want to be her friend because he was just a way too good person. She didn't want him to feel like he had to stay with her. She was obviously a bad friend, and he didn't deserve that. He deserved someone who he actually enjoyed to be with. He was amazing and he deserved the moon. And she probably wasn't able to gave it to him. Because she was just Rachel. She was loud, obnoxious and she talked to much and that was why she never had a lot of friends. Maybe Sebastian had borne with her for that long, but she couldn't blame him if he was finally tired of her.

She hear a new knock on the door.

"Rachel?" She heard Sebastian's voice.

She didn't say anything. Maybe if she pretended that she was asleep he would go away and carry on with his life and finally be free of her.

"Rachel I know you're in there." He said. "Please let me in."

And it seemed like maybe he actually still cared about her, maybe she wasn't just a liability to him.

"You can come in." She said in a little voice.

"Thank god." She heard as he opened the door. "You didn't answer any of my calls and I was so worried."

He closed the door and turned around, taking in her appearance. She was now sat on her bed, her hair were messy and she definitely had an after-crying face. He looked at her with a worried face and just came to her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close and tight. And that was exactly what she needed. He knew it, because he knew her better than anyone. When she felt a little bit better she pulled back just a bit, making sure that she was still in Sebastian's arms.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Sebastian asked softly.

Rachel took a deep breath.

"Evan broke up with me." She finally said, saying those words for the first time. "He just... broke up with me."

Sebastian held her tighter and a few tears fell down from her eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I thought he cared about me." She said. " _I_ care about him."

She felt Sebastian stiff but he continued to draw circles on her back.

"He said I was to young." She said.

"He's stupid." Sebastian said. "I know you're hurting, it's completely understandable. But you're strong and I know you'll be better. And I'll be there whenever you'll need me."

She kissed him on the cheek and saw a light blush spread on Sebastian's cheeks. He probably just wasn't expecting that.

Sebastian stayed until Rachel feel asleep, and when she woke up she called him.

"Thank you." She said when he picked up.

"For what?" He asked.

"For last night." She explained. "I was at my lowest and you calmed me down. You always do."

"You're my best friend, of course I was there for you." Sebastian said.

"I just felt like... like I was a liability." She finally admitted.

"Rach you'll never be a liability." Sebastian said. "You're... you're everything to me."

Rachel's heart fluttered and she bit her lip despite herself. She believed him instantly. And suddenly it was like all her fears about being a liability to Sebastian flew away.

"I love you." She said.

There was a small pause before he spoke, as if he had taken a small breath.

"I love you too." He then said.

"Well, I have to get ready to go to class, but I'll call you later." She said as she sat up on her bed.

"Okay, have a good day." He said.

"Have a good day, Seb." She answered before hanging up.

She finally got out of her bed and made her way to the bathroom. She was covered in tears and sweat and she had never felt more in need of a shower. She would probably have to stay under the shower for an hour to finally feel normal again, but she didn't have that time, so she would have to settle for a 10-minutes shower.

After getting dressed she made her way towards the kitchen and poured herself a bowl of cereal.

"Hi, Rae." Hazel said as she entered the living room.

"Hi Hazel." Rachel said. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Hazel answered. "And you?"

"I'm good." Rachel said.

Hazel eyed her with a worried look. "What happened yesterday?" She asked.

Rachel sighted. She would have to say it eventually anyway, so might as well do it now.

"Evan dumped me." She said. "But I'm feeling better now."

"You're sure?" She asked.

"Yes." Rachel answered. "Anyway, I gotta go to class." She said as she walked up to the door. "Bye, have a nice day." She said as she closed the door.

She went to school, not really in a good mood but she didn't really had a choice anyway. She remembered how bad she had felt coming back to school after Finn had cheated on her, the humiliation she had felt. But at least Sebastian had been there, and it had been enough for her to get through the day. But Sebastian didn't have class with her and he didn't go to NYADA. But at least she could be comforted by the fact that she wouldn't have to see Evan today because he had graduated. But still, it wasn't a pleasant feeling she was feeling as she walked the hallways to her class. She took a deep breath. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She was supposed to be a fierce independent woman who didn't need a man to tell her her worth. But right now she just felt pathetic, like she wasn't good enough. And she didn't want to feel like that. She shook her head to shake the thought away and focus as she entered her class. She would be fine. She had to.

OooO

Rachel was lying on the couch when someone knocked on the door. She opened the door and found Ben with a smiling face and a paper bag in his hands.

"Hi!" He said, grinning.

"Ben!" Rachel said before hugging him tightly.

They parted and Ben looked at her with worry, taking in her appearance.

"Have you even showered today?" He asked.

"Not really." She said and Ben sighted. "It's the weekend, what's even the purpose of showering?" She argued.

Ben entered the apartment and sat on the couch, Rachel coming to sit next to him.

"I wanted to cheer you up so I brought this." He said as he opened the paper bag, revealing some Chinese take out.

"That is exactly what I need." Rachel said. "Thanks."

They started to eat, as they put the TV on a channel that was broadcasting a talent show.

"I know you're not really feeling like yourself lately," Ben suddenly said, "but I just want you to know that I'm here for you."

"I know." Rachel said with a smile.

"Good." Ben said.

A few hours later, Hazel entered the apartment, her heels in her hands.

"How was your date?" Rachel asked.

"Could have been better." She said with a shrug.

Hazel dropped her shoes next to the door and headed towards her room.

"Hazel, wait!" Rachel said as she got up and ran towards her roommate.

She arrived when Hazel was about to open her door.

"What is it?" Hazel asked.

"I just wanted to apologize." Rachel said. "I know I might have been a little bit rude lately, and you've just had to bear with me so I'm sorry."

Hazel raised an eyebrow and looked at Rachel for a second, making Rachel nervous about what she was going to answer.

"Rachel, I can't be mad at you for not wanting to talk because you're hurt." She said.

"But still, I wasn't very nice to be around." Rachel said.

"Rae, we've all been through a rough breakup, I get it." Hazel said. "You have the right to be hurting and to not feel good and to not pretend to feel good." She threw a small smile at Rachel and gave her a kick hug. "Well I'm tired, but if you ever need to talk or just someone to cheer you up, I'm here. Anyway, good night." She said, then she turned around and actually opened the door, entering her bedroom.

"Wait," Rachel said, Hazel stopping in her movement, "thank you."

"You're welcome." She said and she finally disappeared in her room.

Hazel, Sydney, Jennifer and Brooklyn were her friends, they really were. But it was true she couldn't say she trusted all of them entirely. But it was different with Hazel, she knew she could trust her. Hazel never was the kind of person who made you feel like you weren't cool enough, like you had to change something about yourself. She was just the kind of person who would give you random compliments to make you feel good. Rachel felt lucky to have friends like her and Ben.

Rachel joined Ben on the couch and turned off the television.

"We haven't talked in a while," Rachel said as she turned towards him, "so what has been going on in your life?"

"We don't have to do that." Ben said. "I'm here for you, not to talk about me."

"But I _want_ to know about your life." She said.

Ben sighted. "I don't have a very interesting life, you know."

"Ben..." Rachel said.

"It's true! I'm just a regular guy with a regular life." He said, Rachel shooting him a glance. "Okay, I give up."

"Yes!" Rachel said.

"To be honest my life is uninteresting." He said. "School is... not so bad, my parents are still super nervous about me being alone in a big city. Oh, my sister did move in with me though."

"Oh, I didn't know. Will I get to meet her?" Rachel asked.

"For your own sake, I hope you won't." Ben said.

"Why?" Rachel asked. "I know you and your sister are very different but is it really that bad?"

"No, it's just... Eris has always been the black sheep in the family. She didn't care about school, disobeyed our parents just for the sake of it, did things without thinking about the consequences. My parents got tired of that and sent her to a school in Florida but she got expelled. But she didn't want to go back home in Indiana so... she decided to move in with me." He explained. "I love her, she's my sister but she's just... a lot."

"Is she supposed to stay for long?" She asked.

"Honestly I don't know what to expect with her. She doesn't plan to apply to any university next year and she's looking for a job. She's never been a plan person though, so I guess we'll have to wait and see what she decides to do."

Rachel nodded. Suddenly her phone rang.

"It's Sebastian," she said, not picking up, "I'll call him later."

"Is everything good between Sebastian and you?" Ben asked.

"Yes." Rachel said confidently. Then the confidence left her. "I think so? I... I really don't know."

"Why is that?" Ben asked.

"He seems a little distant, like he somehow is uncomfortable being with me sometimes? He told me I wasn't a liability and I believe him but it still feels like something is off." Rachel said. "Do you think he's hiding something from me?" She asked with pleading eyes.

"Yes." Ben replied with a serious tone.

"Really? What could it be?" She asked, a little bit panicked.

"He's in love with you." Ben replied in a very solemnly.

"Ben!" Rachel said as she hit him lightly with a pillow.

"Okay, okay, I'm joking!" He said as he lifted his hands in surrender.

"You almost had me worrying there." Rachel said as she sighted.

The two friends laughed for a moment and then worry started to come to Rachel yet again.

"But for real, do you think he's keeping something from me?" She asked.

"Well, I don't know him, but I feel like you and him are pretty close so I don't think so. And if he does, then he probably has a good reason." Ben told her.

"Yeah, you're probably right," She answered.

But she wasn't completely reassured. If she wasn't the problem, did Sebastian had something he was hiding? It was a possibility, that he felt like he couldn't share something with her. But it made her sad, disappointed in herself. If Sebastian didn't felt comfortable enough to confide in her, than how bad of a friend she was being to him? No. She had to chase away those bad thoughts. Sebastian loved her. He had told her, and she believed him. She was his best friend an it wasn't going to change. But even then, a few negative thoughts came to her. What if he had told her that she wasn't a liability and that he loved her just to spare her feelings? She knew she shouldn't be thinking that, but she couldn't help herself, and now she was just so confused. Her life just didn't make sense anymore.

OooO

She could hear the girls in the living room but she just didn't feel like joining them. She was hungry though, so she was just going to go discreetly, take something to eat, and then leave. It was as simple as that. However when she entered the room, her entrance didn't seem to be as discreet as she had hoped it to be.

"Rachel, we haven't seen you in a while!" Brooklyn said.

"Yeah..." Rachel said.

"Come sit with us!" Jennifer said.

And Rachel had to prevent herself from laughing at how mean-girl-like this line was. She sat next to Brooklyn, not really wanting to be here. But Brooklyn seemed so happy to see her, she couldn't say no.

"You know what," Sydney said, "I think she should organize a party."

"I don't think this is such a good idea." Rachel said.

"Oh come on, you've been moping around for days, live a little Rachel!" Jennifer said.

"Maybe that's what you need." Brooklyn said.

Rachel sighted.

"Maybe Jennifer's right," Hazel said, "it could be good to distract yourself."

"Yeah, maybe." Rachel said.

"And it would be also super fun!" Sydney said. "And of course you can chose the guests, and what we eat..."

"Okay, yeah, maybe we should do that." Rachel said.

"Yes!" Sydney said in victory.

Rachel didn't know how this was going to go. She had never ever organize a party and she didn't even know how you were supposed to do that. But at least she had her friends to help. And maybe they were right, maybe that party was exactly what she needed.

"A party?" Sebastian asked as the two of them were in Rachel's living room a few days later.

"Yeah, the girls thought it would be a good idea."

"I'm just surprised you're in a party mood. Do you really want this?" Sebastian said.

"Yes." Rachel said, Sebastian automatically detecting it was a lie. "Okay, I may not be _sure_ sure but maybe this is what I need. I mean all I've been doing for the past week is going to school and then come back home, I've literally done nothing."

"If that's what you want to do then you should do it." Sebastian said.

Rachel nodded. "I'll have to call Ben to invite him." She said.

"You can do it now." Sebastian shrugged.

"Yeah." Rachel said as she got her phone out of her pocket.

She taped on Ben's number and waited for him to answer the phone.

"Hello?" She heard on the other end of the phone.

"Hi, Ben, I wanted to officially invite you to my party on Saturday." Rachel said.

"Yay, a party, just my scene." Ben said ironically.

"I understand if you don't want to come, but just I would be very happy if you did." She said.

"No I'll come." Ben said. "But I might not enjoy it immensely."

"I'll make it enjoyable just for you." Rachel said.

"You don't have to convince me Rachel, I said I would come." Ben chuckled.

"I know. But I want you to enjoy yourself." Rachel said. "Oh, we'll do spin the bottle!"

"Okay I'm out." Ben said.

"I'm kidding!" Rachel answered with a small laugh.

"I hope so." Ben said. "Well, see you Saturday, then."

"Yes, see you." Rachel said.

She hung up and let out a little sight of contentment.

"I'm so happy you'll get to meet Ben, I know you will love him!" Rachel said.

"He seems nice enough." Sebastian shrugged.

"Sebastian," Rachel said as she looked at him in the eyes intensely, "Ben is the most adorable person to walk on earth."

"I believe you." Sebastian said with a chuckle.

"As you should." Rachel answered.

She seemed to be thinking and raised an eyebrow.

"I think I'm gonna invite Alistair. Do you think he would want to come?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Sebastian said. "He's the kind of person who's super social and he knows how to have fun."

"Cool." Rachel said. "Should I invite Levi too?" Rachel asked.

"Oh _no_ , no you shouldn't." Sebastian said as he shook his head.

"Why?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Do you want him to be hitting on you during the entire night?"

"I rather not." Rachel said.

"My point exactly." Sebastian said.

A silence settle between the two friends. Usually silence with Sebastian didn't bother Rachel, it had never been uncomfortable. But right now it was. She tilted her head on the side, and looked at Sebastian with worry.

"Seb, are we... okay?" She asked quietly.

"Yes." Sebastian said, visibly surprised. "Why would you think otherwise? Is there something?"

"No." Rachel said. "Nothing."

OooO

Rachel took her bag as the class ended and walked towards the door.

"Miss Berry?" Mrs Holloway called.

"Yes?" Rachel asked as she walked up to her dance professor.

"Have you signed up for the end of the year's musical?" She asked.

"No." Rachel said. "I figured I didn't have any chance to be cast so might as well focus on studying and training."

"I think you should audition." Mrs Holloway said.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Yes. Think about it." Mrs Holloway said.

Rachel nodded and left. She didn't really know if she was actually going to audition. Arriving in New York she was full of determination and passion but had soon realized she wasn't the only talented girl from a little town. She wasn't as confident in her talent as she used to be. But maybe she was going to audition, just to try. After all you never know what's going to happen.

A few days later, it was Saturday night, Rachel's party had started and she was ready to have fun and nothing would prevent her from doing just that. The music Sydney had helped her choose was great, Hazel had also helped with the decoration and Jennifer had invited a few friends of hers so there were more people at that party.

Rachel was dancing, completely forgetting about her problems, making sure her guests were having fun.

"Are you having fun?" She asked Ben, who was dancing

"Yeah!" He said enthusiastically, still dancing. "I like the music!"

"Well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself!" Rachel said.

She left him to go see the other people and make sure everything was rolling smoothly. She ended up in the kitchen to fill a bowl of chips.

"Hey stranger." Sebastian said as he entered the kitchen with a beer in his right hand.

"Hi Seb, so what do you think of that party?" She asked.

"It's great." He said with a smile, taking a sip of his beer.

"Have you talked with Ben?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I like him." Sebastian said. "He's a bit nerdy but he's cool."

The two of them went back in the living room, Rachel dropping the bowl of chips on the table. They settled in a corner, Sebastian handing her a red cup.

"Thanks." She said.

They talked for a bit, Rachel then noticing Sebastian eyeing something carefully behind her. She turned around and saw Jennifer who was staring at him. She wasn't surprised, though. She knew her friends were attracted by him.

"Is Jennifer bothering you?" She asked as she turned back around.

"No, everything's fine." He assured her.

"You're sure? I could go talk to her and–"

"No it's fine! Don't go talk to her, there's no need to." He said quickly.

A little bit too quickly, but she didn't question it.

"Okay." She just answered.

The rest of the night went very good. She danced the night away, realizing that maybe her heart wasn't as broken as she had thought it to be and slowly feeling better about herself. Hours later, all the guests had left and only Hazel, Sebastian and Rachel were still here.

Hazel was really tired and had gone to sleep. Rachel stood in the living room, her hands on her hips, seeing how much time and effort would be needed to clean up all that.

"Well. I have some work to do." She said.

"I'll help you." Sebastian said as he got up of the couch.

"You don't need to, you're a guest." She told him.

"I'm gonna help you and only _then_ I'll go home." He said confidently.

"You can stay here." She said. "You can borrow the couch or... we can sleep in my bed like we used to."

"Yeah, that would be cool." He said with a small smile.

They cleaned the living room and the kitchen, and it seemed to be actually pretty quick with the both of them working together. They ended on Rachel's bed, talking of everything and anything.

Rachel suddenly sighted.

"Hey, is are you okay?" Sebastian asked.

"Not really." She answered. "I thought this party would really help me feeling like myself again and it did, but right now I just feel like shit."

"Rach..." Sebastian said.

"It's not like my heart is broken but... is there something wrong with me? I mean clearly there is because nobody seems to want me for very long so..." She said, her eyes fixated on the ground.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Rachel." Sebastian reassured her. He let out a little sight, seeming to be thinking. "You know, I've always admired you're confidence." He then said.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah." He said. "You were so determined in achieving your goal because you knew you had the talent for that. You knew your worth, you knew you were smart, and hardworking and you deserved to be a star."

Rachel kept starring the floor. Sebastian was right, she used to be like that. How was it possible than in two weeks of time she had changed so much? Or maybe it had started before the breakup and she hadn't even noticed it. Quite frankly she just felt like she wasn't enough.

"I know you're not at your best right now, but you are so wrong for thinking something is wrong about you." Sebastian said. "You're... amazing. You're talented but I've already said that, driven, passionate, caring, sweet, nice..."

He stopped mid-sentence, looking at her intensely.

"You're so great and if some people can't see it, well that's too bad for them. They should feel lucky to know you, because you bring light in other people's life, you are so passionate, you just make people believe in you and in themselves. I know _I_ feel damn lucky to know you."

She didn't even thought about it, but she softly put her hand on Sebastian cheek.

"I feel lucky to know you too." She said softly.

They stayed like that for a while, starting at each other eyes, not a word being exchanged. It was strange how so many words were shared by simply their eyes. Then Sebastian tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and he looked at her. She wouldn't be able to describe the way he looked at her in this moment, but she felt so warm inside, her heart fluttered and she wasn't thinking straight anymore. She looked at Sebastian, the guy who had been in her life for so long she couldn't even remember what life without him was, the one she trusted more than anything, her first friend, her first kiss, her first time... her everything. And she kissed him. It didn't make sense really. If was out of the blue, and you weren't even supposed to kiss your best friend. And yet she had kissed him, just like she had a year before.

She should have expected him to pull away. That would make sense at least. But instead he put his hand behind her neck, intensifying the kiss. It was sweet, and slow, and it felt like both of them had been waiting for that, like they had finally found each other again. Sebastian's tong was then asking for entrance in her mouth and she couldn't refuse it. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she forgot about herself. Sebastian put a hand on her hip to pull her closer and she softly moaned. She just couldn't get enough, and she surely didn't want to stop soon. And then she heard a knock on her door.

"Rachel?" Hazel asked half-asleep from behind the door, Sebastian and Rachel pulling away. "I'm hungry, do you think there's any food left?"

Rachel sighted. "There are some Doritos in the cabinet under the sink." She said.

"Okay, thanks." She said.

It could have been awkward. It was a bit awkward at first, but neither of them felt like what had just happened was a mistake.

"We should probably go to sleep." Sebastian said, breaking the silence.

"You're right." Rachel said.

She changed into her pajama and handed Sebastian an old pajama of his.

"How do you–" He started.

"You forgot it one day." She explained.

He nodded. She slipped under the covers and he joined her. She rolled on her side, her back to him. She didn't really know how to act. Maybe she was wrong and it was going to be awkward. But Sebastian wrapped her into his arms from behind her, and now they were spooning. And she would be lying if she said that she didn't love it. With his chest on her back, she could hear his heart beat, and then their hearts were beating in unison.

She fell asleep quickly, just feeling safe and contented and happy. Maybe tomorrow they would have to deal with the consequences, but right now, she didn't care.

She woke up pretty late in the morning, the sun already lighting up her room. But Sebastian wasn't here anymore. She got up and put her slippers on before she got out of her room. To her surprise, she could hear voices as she made her a way to the kitchen. When she arrived she saw Hazel sitting in front of the kitchen counter with a plate in front of her and Sebastian with a pan in his hand. She wasn't expecting that, which is probably why she stood there without saying anything.

"Oh, hi Rachel." Sebastian said when he saw her.

"Hi Rae!" Hazel said, beaming. "Come eat! These pancakes are delicious."

Rachel joined them and took a seat next to Hazel, who looked at the time on her watch then opened her eyes wide.

"Crap, I have to leave, I have an appointment at the hairdresser." She got up quickly and put on her jacket. "Bye, and thanks for the food Sebastian!" She said.

"You're welcome!" Sebastian said before Hazel closed the door behind her.

And now it was just them, just the two of them alone again.

"So you made breakfast?" She asked.

"I did." He answered.

Sebastian poured a part of the scrambled eggs that were in his pan in a plate and the other part in an other plate. He added bacon and some pancakes to both the plates and handed one to her.

"Here you go." He said,

"Thanks." Rachel said.

She took a bite of a pancake, enjoying the sweet taste.

"I didn't know you knew how to cook." She said.

"Yeah, I kind of had to learn since I left Lima." He explained.

Sebastian sat next to Rachel and started to eat his own plate. They both ate next to each other in a weirdly pleasant silence. Despite herself, Rachel smiled.

"What is it?" Sebastian asked curiously.

"Nothing." Rachel said. "I just... I feel happy right now."

Sebastian lowered his eyes and glared at the kitchen counter as she saw him starting to blush, a smile forming on his lips. He lift up his head and turned to her.

"I'm happy too." He told her with shinning eyes.

And now it was her turn to blush. She took his hand and held it. And they finished their breakfast like that. It seemed so simple, yet so comforting to have him at her side like that. Right now that was all she needed.

OooO

An hour or so later Sebastian had left with the promise of calling her later and Rachel had just continued with her day. She had gone outside for a jog, then she had taken a shower and started studying and preparing for her school's production's auditions.

She still felt on cloud nine. She didn't know how she was _that_ _much_ happy. She just couldn't stop smiling. Being like that with Sebastian had felt so right, she just couldn't quite explain it. It was true that they had been drinking before that, but she wasn't as intoxicated as she had been a year before when they had slept together. But maybe it hadn't been because of the alcohol, maybe even then she had felt something she wasn't supposed to feel for someone that was just a friend. Maybe she still felt that way. No, it wasn't maybe, she knew she had feelings for Sebastian. But she just didn't know why she was realizing that just now.

Her friends came, invited by Hazel and the girls talked in the living room.

"So did this party made you feel better?" Brooklyn asked Rachel.

"Yes I do feel better." Rachel said, knowing that it wasn't mostly about the party in itself. "Thank you all for helping organize it."

"Of course!" Sydney said. "That party was awesome!"

"Does anyone want anything to eat?" Hazel asked.

Some of the girls replied yes and Hazel nodded as she started to get up.

"Let me do it." Rachel said as got up instead.

Hazel nodded and gave her a quick smile. Rachel went into the kitchen and took some cookies from Walmart that she displayed on a plate, slowly making her way back to the living room.

"Anyway so Sebastian was totally ignoring me and I don't know why, so I was disappointed 'cause I wanted to sleep with him again." She heard Jennifer say.

Rachel immediately stopped in her track, the plate still on her hands.

"What?" She asked.

The room was silent, almost as if she wasn't supposed to hear that. But that couldn't be true, they were her friends after all, right?

Then she actually understood Jennifer's words.

"Did you say 'again'?" She asked, incredulous. "What do you mean?"

"You're not _that_ stupid, Rachel, you know what I mean." Jennifer said.

Seeing as Rachel wasn't saying anything, Jennifer sighted and rolled her eyes.

"We had sex, gosh." She said annoyed. "And I'm pretty sure you're the reason he pretended nothing happened yesterday, being all close to him and not leaving him like you were _desperate_."

"Jenni, she's her friend." Hazel said, stunned of the turn of events.

"Oh, quit it." Jennifer said. "You really believe that perfect Rachel who's so cute and nice and sooo perfect has no ulterior motives? News Flash _Rae-Rae_ , he doesn't want you! He wants me!" She almost shouted.

"Jennifer, Rachel hasn't done anything to you." Sydney said.

"Why? You're her friends now? You used to be _my_ friend!" Jennifer said. "But as usual Rachel wants to have everything I have."

"Okay I think we all need to calm down." Brooklyn said as she got up.

"No, I want to say it." Jennifer said. "We had sex, and I can tell you we both _loved_ it and we would have done it yesterday too if you hadn't been a clingy whore, so I'm sorry if you've been dumped because you're lame but that's not my problem."

Rachel felt her chest become tight, her heart pounding and she felt like she was suffocating. She needed to leave. She ran out of the apartment, only stopping when she arrived downstairs. She was breathing heavily and as she tried to breathe to a normal pace, she felt tears strolling down her cheeks. She started to sob and sat on the floor, burying her head in her knees.

Her eyes started to dry a little and she got up, wiping her tears away. She took a deep breath, feeling herself starting to breathe normally again. She got out of the building to have some fresh air, and she looked at the people pass. She felt her phone vibrating and got it out of her pocket, the name flashing on the screen reminder her of what had just happened. Sebastian. It was true that he had said he would call, but that promise had been made in very different circumstances. She couldn't answer. How could she? She couldn't just pretend everything was okay, not after that. And she couldn't be mad about it, but...

She needed to talk to him. But not on the phone, face to face. She needed to see him. When she arrived, she knocked on the door and waited. She heard footstep and the door opened on Sebastian, a smile forming on his lips as he saw her.

"Hey Rachel," he said, "I'm glad to see you, you weren't answering."

He seemed so happy to see her. It was as if nothing had changed. And it hadn't, not for him. His smile dropped and he seemed concerned when he noticed Rachel's expression.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

There was a pause of silence, Rachel figuring out what she was actually going to say. She knew she had no right to be mad, but she couldn't help but feel like she had been played with.

"Was this all a game to you?" She said, letting her hurt feelings talk for her.

"What?" He said, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Rachel looked into his eyes, trying to find any sign that would say that he knew he had hurt her. But he just seemed to not know anything.

"Jennifer told me." She said.

"Told you about what?" He said, still confused. And then his face fell. " _Oh_."

There was moment of silence, a pause in which Rachel knew that Sebastian understood what was bothering her. He didn't to have expected her to know at all. She felt tears coming out of her eyes. She displayed a hollow smile as she realized.

"You didn't even planned on telling me." She realized.

"Rachel..." Sebastian said. "I... it wasn't important, it didn't mean any–"

"Don't bother." She simply said.

She glanced at him one more time, one last longing glance. She turned around, and she left.

OooO

 **A.N./ Well... I hope you're not mad at me for making sad things happen... This chapter was both extremely pleasant and painful to write. I really do hope you will enjoy this chapter and I really would love to know what you thought about it ;)**

 **See you next time!**


	10. The Wedding

**A.N./ Hello again! Here is the tenth chapter, from Sebastian's point of view this time. Love is in the air... because there's a wedding. And maybe because of other things but you'll find out later.**

 **Also, as always, the translations can be found at the end of the chapter in the Author's Note.**

 **So let's go back to the story...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

Sebastian stood in front of the still open door of his apartment.

When he had come back home sooner this day he had been so happy.

He had kissed Rachel. He had actually kissed her. And it just felt like all of this was a dream, because maybe she felt the same thing as he felt for her. He had stayed for the night, and they both slept in her bed, spooning. Just the kind of couple stuff he used to hate but weirdly enough loved to do with her. Coming back home after all of that, he had been on cloud nine.

But now she was gone.

The words he had heard from her kept repeating in his head. She knew about him and Jennifer. In a sense, she couldn't really be mad at him. He had been single, nothing had been going on between them, she was even dating Evan at the time. But still... Jennifer was her friend, and he hid it from her. And of course the fact that he had slept with Jennifer to forget about Rachel made him feel so guilty, but Rachel didn't know about that.

But something about her reaction had hurt so much. When she had looked at him, with tears in her eyes and a half smile, it was like he had disappointed her. It was like she was even disappointed in herself for believing something. Like she was thinking to herself that she should have been expecting that. Like he had let her down.

He realized he was almost not breathing and took a deep breath.

He closed the door, his heart heavy as he did so. He went straight to the couch, mechanically turning on the television. The images passed before his eyes, the sounds coming to his head, without him actually acknowledging it. There were thoughts he couldn't get out if head and he kept focusing on it despite himself.

He wasn't good enough for her. He knew it, and Rachel had probably understood it. But how could he be good enough for her? Over the years, he had heard Rachel talking about her flaws and what she didn't like about her. But he thought her 'flaws' were perfect. He had always seen her like this. She would always complain about how she wasn't pretty enough according to Hollywood's standards, he would reply that she was indeed beautiful. She was her, and that made her so special but she didn't even understand it.

She was amazing. And he had lost her.

He went to bed, tossing and turning for hours, the same thought keeping him woke up. He should have told her. He just should have told her he was in love with her, because right now she was probably thinking that he didn't care about her when the reality was so far from that. He tried to mute the voices in his head and finally, he fell asleep.

When he woke up, there was a heavy feeling in his heart, but he tried to ignore it and got up, getting ready for school. He didn't eat anything for breakfast, not feeling hungry at all. He just needed to get out of his dorm. He got out of the building and started walking to go to his first class. Taking in the lightly warm air of May made him feel somewhat better. Not to his surprise, he didn't manage to focus on any of his classes. He just felt like shit and he had to accept it at some point.

On the way back to his dorm he found himself fidgeting with his phone, wondering if he should text her, or call her maybe? Or maybe it was just a really bad idea. But something told him that maybe if he explained, maybe then she would understand. He stared at her profile pic for a while before tapping on her number and pressing the phone against his ear. When after some wait he heard her voicemail message he felt defeated. He shoved his phone back in his pocket. Calling again wasn't going to help anyway, he couldn't do anything.

Five days later, Sebastian still had no news from Rachel. Not a single text back or call answered. At first he had thought it was better to give her some space, but right now he just felt like he needed to talk to her. Just as if if he didn't then everything would be even worse than it already was. So he had to come to her apartment. That was what he was going to do.

However, now that he actually was in front of her door, it seemed much more complicated. Maybe she really didn't want to see him. Maybe seeing him would anger her or sadden her. But he was already there anyway, and he couldn't predict how she would react. He knocked. He heard small steps and then finally the door opening. He recognized Hazel when the door opened. She furrowed her eyebrows when she saw him.

"Oh, hi Sebastian. Are you looking for Jennifer?" She asked, a bit confused.

"What? No! I'm... I would like to talk to Rachel. If she wants to at least." He told her nervously.

She looked at him even more confused before saying:

"Rachel doesn't live here anymore. She... didn't tell you?"

Sebastian stared at Hazel for a moment before he realized and looked on the floor.

"Oh, well, I guess I'm gonna go then." And he left quickly hopping to not seem to weird.

It took time to process what he had just heard, but in the bed Sebastian came to a conclusion: he had no clue what was going on.

OooO

Coming back to his dorm, tired and disappointed to say the least, Sebastian let himself fall on the bed. It had been a week. A week without having heard about Rachel. A week since he had seen her. And he didn't even know where she was, he was starting be a little worried about her. But he couldn't do anything about it.

Looking around his room, he saw a little envelope on his desk. He wondered what it was for a moment and then it hit him. Leroy's wedding. Sebastian was invited to Leroy's wedding, which was in a few days. He had received the invitation months ago, and had completely forgotten about it. But now, everything was different. Rachel would be here, obviously. He would get to see her.

Two days later, Sebastian was at Alistair's apartment with Levi, the boys were in front of the television, watching a talent show. The ads came on and Levi went on his phone, while Alistair focused on his bowl of popcorn.

"So... I have Leroy's wedding this weekend." Sebastian said.

"Who's Leroy?" Levi asked, eyes still on his phone.

"Rachel's father." He answered.

"You're still not on speaking terms?" Alistair asked.

"No..." Sebastian sighted.

"She'll come around." Levi said. "And if she doesn't, then you'll get over it. I mean she's only been your friend since what, Kindergarten?"

"Not helping." Sebastian said, his head buried in his arms. "Really not."

"Well, I may not know everything about what happened between you two, but it seems to me like you care very much about Rachel." Alistair said. "I'm not saying you should stalk her, 'cause that would be fucked up, so let her the time she needs to process everything. But as soon as she's ready to talk to you again, let her know how you feel, because otherwise you'll regret not letting her know."

There was a silence for a few seconds, Levi and Sebastian both staring at Alistair.

"I... I mean it's a very good advice, so thanks, Levi." Sebastian finally said.

"You're welcome dude." Alistair said as he got up. "And remember," he said dramatically, holding Sebastian's head between his two hands, "do _not_ throw away your shot."

Alistair smiled and strutted out of the room. Sebastian didn't move at first, confused about what had just happened.

"Damn," Levi said he took the bowl, "Just when I was starting to think this kid made sense, he blurts out some Hamilton shit."

"You do realize _you're_ the weirdest out of the three of us, right?" Sebastian said.

"In your dreams." Levi pointed at him. "Alistair is sweet and all but he talks like he's high all the time, and you look... disgusted by life."

Sebastian sighted. It was true that he wasn't as his best recently, but could others really see that?

"So tell me, what happened with Rachel?" Levi said.

"I told you, we got into a fight."

"No, but like what _really_ happened? Like did you two hook up? I feel like you too hooked up." Levi said determined.

"No, we didn't hook up." He said, turning his head to hide the blush that crept on his cheeks.

And it was true, they hadn't hooked up, just made out and cuddled.

"That wouldn't make sense." Sebastian concluded.

"Uh, I mean she's hot, you're... okay I guess, she's newly single, you're single too, you smile goofily when she's around, and you're a mess when you two are apart so _excuse me_ for thinking that there's something between you two."

"Well you're wrong." Sebastian replied.

He didn't want to tell Levi and Alistair what had happened between him and Rachel, because that would make it so much more real. Not that he regretted what had happened, but by telling them about what had happened, he would also have to tell of the end of it. And he didn't want to admit that all had ended so quickly. That would hurt to much.

Thinking about that, he realized he had never told his friends about the time he and Rachel had actually slept together. That he could he tell them.

"We have hooked up before though." He said.

"I knew it!"

"Just once, in High School." Sebastian said.

"And?" Levi asked.

"And what?" Sebastian was confused.

"What happened after? Did you just... stay friends?"

"Well, yeah."

"Now I get where this tension comes from." Levi said with a knowing smirk.

"Anyway, I should go, I've got my last exam tomorrow." Sebastian said.

The two friends said goodbye and Sebastian left the apartment.

OooO

After his last test, Sebastian came back to his dorm and packed up his clothes, getting ready to go. His cab arrived and he got out of his building. The cab drove him to Laguardia, and he boarded his plane, listening to his music during the two-hour flight.

He took his suitcase and walked towards the exit of the terminal, scanning the crowd. Finally, he saw her. She was beaming and waving at him. She was glowing, almost shinning. He didn't remember the last time he had seen her that way. He smiled and walked towards her, embracing her. She held him tight.

"I missed you so much mon bébé." She said softly.

"I missed you too mom." He said.

The sent of her cardigan made him feel... at home. It wasn't that much, just the sent of the laundry detergent she used. But he hadn't even realized he had missed this kind of little things.

Sebastian broke the hug to look at his mother.

"You look well." He said, relieved and happy.

"Because I _am_ well." Sophie said.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I know you're worried about me, but I really am." Sophie said.

"I just... It's good to see you like that." He said.

Sophie cupped her son's head with her hands and planted a kiss on his cheek. Damn, he had miss those a lot. Maybe he should have asked for more of them while he was still living with his mom.

After a two hours in the car, he was back in his old house. To think in January he was still living here. But now it was just end of May, and he felt like he had left so long ago.

His mom brought back some tea and a cake from the kitchen and sat next to Sebastian on the couch.

"Mom, I could have made the tea." Sebastian said.

"I'm very capable of doing that, thank you very much." She answered stubbornly.

He chuckled. He had missed his mom. He had just really missed her, and the way he felt so safe in her presence. It was hard being an adult.

"By the way, how's Rachel?" Sophie asked curiously.

"Good. I guess." His mom eyed him suspiciously and he felt obligated to tell her. "We had an argument a week ago. Haven't heard about her since."

Sophie gave him this look, like she was shaming him almost and he felt accused.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Sebastian, you know better. Why don't you go and talk to her? Make an effort mon cœur!" She told him.

"The thing is, she doesn't want to see or hear me." He explained.

"Don't give up, Sebastian."

"What, you want me to stalk her?" He asked.

"No, obviously not." She shook her head, sighting. "What I mean is she'll come around. She'll remember."

"Remember what?"

"That you two need each other. You both know it, right now, deep in your hearts."

Sebastian felt a sting in his heart. Was it really true? Would she actually remember what they meant to each other? Because he didn't know what he'd do if she didn't. His mother was right, he needed Rachel. He just... needed her. He always had. He always would. But now he wanted to be with her too. There was a difference between needing and wanting to be by someone's side, the same difference that there was between an uncontrolled feeling and commitment. He had just admitted to himself that he was in love with her, he couldn't just forget about it and move on. So he hoped his mom was right. He really did.

OooO

The next morning, the taxi dropped him off at the place of the ceremony. It took place under a Barnum next to a river. The white chairs had been decorated with elements of the forest. The altar was in wood, the sun shinning on it. It looked quite romantic. He looked around at the guests to see if he maybe recognized anyone. Shelby wasn't there, not that he expected her to be. He looked around again and realized he didn't know anyone. Well. That was going to be awkward. He still scanned the flow of people in hope of seeing Rachel, even though he knew she wasn't going to be there. She was probably at her father's side.

People were starting to take their seats, and Sebastian wondered on what side of the aisle he was supposed to be. Then he saw two signs, one written "Leroy", the other "Hiram" on each side of the room. He walked to Leroy's side and took a seat.

"Sebastian?" He heard after a few minutes.

He turned around, startled, and saw a young man who seemed familiar.

"Isaiah?" He said, finally recognizing him.

"How are you? It's been a long time!" Isaiah said.

Isaiah was Rachel's cousin, on her father's side of the family. He hadn't seen him that much, but when they were younger, Isaiah used to come spend a week or two during summer at Rachel's. And since Sebastian spent most of his time with Rachel, the two boys had spent some time together.

"I'm good and you?" Sebastian said.

"I'm fine." He answered with a smile. "Can I sit here?" He asked as he gestured towards the seat next to Sebastian's.

"Sure." He answered.

Isaiah sat next to Sebastian, and it felt good to have someone he knew next to him.

"So, are you still friends with Rachel?" Isaiah asked.

"Yeah." He answered, even though there was a high possibility that they weren't, but he didn't want to dwell on the bad things.

"Wow, that's cool." He said. "You know she used to say you were her favorite person in the whole world."

Sebastian smiled at the words he had heard so many times from Rachel, words she used to use about him. But now, it probably wasn't true anymore.

"She's mine too." He said

After a moment, the piano and violin quartet started to play and the guests got quiet, turning their heads towards the end of the aisle. Two by two, the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked along the aisle, standing on each side of it when they were finished.

Then he saw her.

Rachel was walking up the aisle, her arm linked with the arm of some guy he didn't recognize. She was beautiful, as usual, but there was something else. She was happy for her dad, he could feel it. She seemed so peaceful and proud, when she walked next to his row, all he wanted was reach out his hand for hers. But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't.

When Rachel and the other guy joined the other bridesmaids and groomsmen, the guests turned back to the end of the aisle.

Hiram and Leroy were both there, linked by the arms. They started to slowly walk to the altar, arm in arm, at the same rhythm. Leroy had a really happy smile on his face. Sebastian couldn't help but feel happy for him. Leroy was getting married, after all, that wasn't nothing. So mush joy was awaiting him. And Leroy was the closest thing Sebastian had to a father, he couldn't imagine not being there for one of the most important moment of his life. He just wished all the best for Leroy.

The two grooms reached the altar and stood face to face, the officiant standing between the two of them. They recited their vows, and then came the moment of exchanging the wedding rings. Sebastian couldn't help but shed a tear at that moment, feeling emotional. he spotted Rachel, who was at her father's left and saw her trying not to cry, but a few tears fell anyway.

And then they kissed, and everyone cheered and clapped.

The ceremony ended and everyone got up, some of the guests were talking with each other and some went to congratulate the newly weds. Sebastian walked up to them and congratulated them, shaking Hiram's hand and hugged Leroy, a warm feeling spreading in his heart.

"I need the family and friends of the wedded couple to come with me in order to take some photos." The photographer announced.

Sebastian didn't think they were going to ask him to be in the photos but he wanted to come just to see it. The photo shoot took place in a very sweet and green place, a walk away from the place of the ceremony. The photographer asked different groups to come and pose next to the grooms. Sebastian watched as the photographer took photos of the grooms with the bridesmaids, then switched them with the groomsmen, then it was time for a photo with the best man and the maid of honor, Rachel. Sebastian noticed that the best man was pretty close to Rachel, a bit insistent even. He seemed to be their age, maybe a tad older but not that much. Rachel pretended to not notice as his hands got a bit lower on her waist. Sebastian looked away. He knew he had no right to think anything about that. A few pictures of Leroy and Hiram together were taken in various poses, a look of pure joy on both of their faces.

"I want a picture with my two kids now." Leroy said as Rachel walked up to her father.

Leroy gestured for Sebastian to join them and he didn't move for a moment, surprised. He finally joined Rachel and Leroy, not without a pleasant feeling. Leroy considered him his own. His _son_.

He wanted to tear up a little bit but he got over it. Rachel and himself were on either side of Leroy, who had his arms around their shoulders. Sebastian hadn't been more proud than he was in this exact moment.

After the photos were taken everyone started to walk to the place where the reception took place, which was approximately five minutes from where they took the photos. Somehow he found himself walking almost next to Rachel, just a step ahead from her, or even half a step. He wondered if he should walk faster, but that would probably be weird, as if he was avoiding her. And he wasn't, she was. So maybe he should walk faster, because she wouldn't want to walk next to him anyway.

He took a breath. He didn't want her to think that he was avoiding her. If she didn't want him near her, she would tell him anyway. So he slowed down just a bit, synchronizing his steps with hers, and they just walked silently for a while.

"Hey." She finally said, her eyes fixing the ground.

"Hey." He said back.

They went back to not talking, and then Rachel sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said, "for the things I said, for not answering your texts and calls, for pushing you away-"

"You've got nothing to be sorry about." He said truthfully.

Because he still felt guilty that he had hurt her, it had never been his intention, and he felt like he deserved that Rachel was mad at him.

"I do, Sebastian. I completely overreacted." She said, finally looking at him. "I had no right to be mad about you and Jennifer. You said it was before anything happened between us, and I believe you. I just... I was upset about not being the only one I guess. Which is extremely stupid and selfish, considering that I had just got out of a relationship. I just let my pride blind me and I understand if you think that I ruined everything."

"Are you kidding me?" Sebastian said. "I'm just glad you are not mad at me."

Rachel smiled at him, that light smile that meant that everything was okay, and he was convinced of it, everything was okay between them, finally.

"I missed you." She said.

"Me too. We should catch up later, if you want to?"

"Deal."

They finally arrived at the reception, and checked the seating arrangement. At the grooms table, Hiram was next to Leroy, who was next to Rachel, who was next to Sebastian, who was next to Hiram's best man, who was next to Leroy's mother, who was next to two family members of Hiram, who were next to Hiram.

Rachel and Sebastian approached the round table and sat down, the other people were already there.

"Hi," a man said. "I'm Francis, Hiram's brother."

"And I'm Sheila, his wife." The woman next to him said. "How are you related to the grooms?"

"I'm Rachel, Leroy's daughter." She explained.

"And my future dance partner." Hiram's best man said with a wink.

Rachel rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed.

"And here's Peter, our son." Francis said.

"Rachel and I know each other _pretty well_ already." Peter said.

"And I am Rebecca, Leroy's mother." The sweet old woman said.

"And you, young man?" Sheila asked.

Sebastian got nervous suddenly, not really knowing what to answer.

"Hum, I'm-"

"Please welcome the newly weds!" A voice on the microphone announced.

Everyone got up and clapped, celebrating Hiram and Leroy. The two husbands danced a little bit in the center of the room then they joined the table.

"Congratulations again!" Francis said.

"Thanks Sheila." Hiram said. "So, does everybody know each other?"

"Oh, I don't think I quite got your name." Sheila said.

"Oh that's Sebastian, my son." Leroy said, which made Sebastian blush.

"I didn't know you had two children." Francis said.

"Because he doesn't." Rebecca said.

"Sebastian is actually friends with Rachel since kindergarten, and I guess he grew on me."

"It's true that he has always been a very charming boy." Rebecca nodded.

Dinner was followed by relatives toasting to the grooms. Some were funny, some emotional, some managed to be both at the same time. At some point, Sebastian noticed Peter putting his arm around Rachel's shoulders, and Rachel pushing his arm away with a look of disgust on her face. Sebastian tried not to laugh, he really tried. But in his defense, it was also very funny.

"My dad has always loved musicals." Rachel started. She had gotten up and held a glass of champagne in her hand. "In fact, the reason why I'm studying Musical Theatre is because he has made me watch musicals since I was at least two years old. Although I'm pretty sure he was already making me listen to show-tunes in my mother's womb."

A light laughter echoed from her audience as Rachel took a small breath.

"When I was six years old, my father asked me to come downstairs to watch a musical with him in the living room. It was West Side Story. I remember being extremely confused after seeing it, I asked my dad, 'daddy, why does Maria wanted to be with Tony if her family didn't like him?'. It didn't make sense to me. He told me it was because Maria was in love with Tony. When I asked him how she knew that, he told me "Honey, when you're in love, you just know it. Your heart feels lighter when you're next to that person. You can't stop smiling because seeing them makes you happy, and you want nothing more than their happiness. When you will find your person, you'll know it.'"

She made a pause and spoke directly to her father next to her. "Dad, when I see you today, I see so much happiness in your eyes. I haven't see a moment today when you haven't been smiling. The way you look at Hiram and the way he looks at you, just shows that you both know that you are each other's person. You're the best father, and you deserve all the joy in the world, I love you dad." She said.

Leroy took his daughter in his arms and held her close as people clapped.

After a moment, it was time for the first dance between Hiram and Leroy, who were later joined on the dance floor by the other guests.

"May I have this dance?" Peter asked, his hand outstretched towards Rachel.

"No." She answered without even looking at him.

"But-"

"No, Peter. You're annoying, I don't want to dance with you."

The boy looked defeated but left nonetheless.

It was only Sebastian and Rachel at the table now. Everyone else was either dancing, or talking at another table.

"Hey, would you like to talk?" Sebastian asked a bit shyly. "Not necessarily _now_ , we can do that later too."

"Actually, do you want to go to my room now? To talk, I mean." She said.

Sebastian nodded. "Sure, yeah."

Rachel got up and Sebastian followed her as she went to the kitchen.

"I thought we were going to your room?" Sebastian asked.

Rachel was rummaging through the different cabinets of the room.

"Yes, but before, I wanted to take... that!" She said as she brandished a cool bottle of rosé.

"Hum... do you happen to remember what happened the last time we drank wine?" He said, dubious.

"Oh come on," she said as she handed him the bottle and went back to snooping in a cabinet, "we were teenagers full of hormones. Right now it's just... two adults who know what they are doing."

" _Right_." Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"And," she said as she came back with two wine glasses, "This is rosé, so much classier than red wine."

Sebastian chuckled. "Well, let's get going then."

They finally arrived in Rachel's room, Rachel taking of her heels as Sebastian slipped off of his jacket. They sat at the foot of the bed, Rachel filling their glasses with the wine.

Rachel took a good sip of her drink. "Now we can talk."

"So, what has been going on in your life?" She asked.

"Nothing, really."

"Same."

"Oh really," Sebastian said with a raised eyebrow, "that's not what Hazel said when I came by last time."

"Okay, I see what you mean." Rachel said.

"So?" He asked.

"So... I move out. The atmosphere was just becoming... too unlivable. With our friends, it seemed as if they all had to decide which one they supported, Jenifer or me, and it was clear whose side they were on... Except for Hazel, at first she seemed to be torn, but ultimately she made her choice to be on Jennifer's side, just like Brooklyn and Sydney. And I decided to leave."

"Where do you live now?" Sebastian asked.

"At Ben's. Even with his sister there was a spare bedroom, so I moved in."

Sebastian nodded. At least she was safe, that was all that mattered. And he had met Ben, he was a good guy.

"Also... I got cast in the lead role." Rachel said. "Of the school's end of the year show I mean."

"I don't want to say I'm not surprised but..." Sebastian joked, resulting in Rachel laughing. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." She said, lowering her head as a blush started to creep on her cheeks and nose. "It's actually on Monday, so in two days and I don't think I've ever been that nervous about anything in my entire life.

"I'm sure you're gonna kill it." He told her.

"I sure hope so."

Sebastian looked at Rachel, his eyes becoming softer at the sight of her. He had so much to tell her... So much he felt for her, but somehow, he couldn't even word it. She noticed he was watching her, tilting her head.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm just... I thought you hated me."

"I could never hate you Seb. Even if I tried." She said softly.

Their eyes met as she turned her head and they were facing each other, their faces only a few inches apart. Time stood still as he stared into her eyes, her own seeming to look for some kind of solace in his, a feeling of longing floating in the tight space between them.

As of its own accord, his hand came to rest on her cheek. His heart was beating fast, very fast, and he wondered if it was the same for Rachel. For a small instant, he wondered if he should go for it. Because right now, there was nothing else he wanted more. He hesitated, but then he looked at Rachel intensely. He closed the gap between them, his lips meeting hers slowly. She kissed him back, and that was all he needed as he tilted his head, intensifying their kiss, Rachel following his lead. She didn't need to talk for him to know that at this moment, she felt the same way he did.

The rest went kind of in a blur, partly because of the alcohol, but also because what followed came so naturally, because they had done it before. There was no going back, but they both knew it, and none of them wanted to go back.

An hour later, Sebastian listened to Rachel's breath as she slept. Her head rested on his chest and his arm was around her. He felt so peaceful, so serene. He smiled. When Rachel was awake, he was going to tell her that he was in love with her, he would tell her.

OooO

He woke up before Rachel, and wondered if he should stay in bed and wait for her to wake up, or if she would find it weird that he had just laid in bed watching her. He turned to look at her. She was beautiful. She had always been. And he just couldn't stop himself from smiling, he was just so in love with her, and he couldn't wait for her to wake up and for him to tell her. Maybe she wouldn't feel the same, but he just wanted her to know.

He was interrupted in his thoughts by the sound of a notification on his phone. He took his phone to look at the text and read 'Sebastian can you come quickly please? It's urgent', just below the word 'Mom'.

He froze, a multitude of horrible scenarios flooding his head. He hurried out off the bed but nonetheless he didn't want to make too much noise. He slipped into his clothes which happened to be the suit he had wore the day before and sneaked out of the room quietly.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Sebastian shouted, panicked, as he opened the door of his childhood house.

"Ah, finally! Mamie and Papi were waiting for you." She said as she joined him with a smile.

"Mom, did you ask me to come here urgently for absolutely _no_ reason?" He said as he was still breathing heavily.

"But your grandparents wanted to video chat with you!" She explained.

"Mom I was worried, don't do things like that!"

"Okay, I'm sorry." She said. "I'm gonna take the tablet in my bedroom."

Sophie climbed the stairs to her room and came back with her tablet that she handed to him.

"Coucou Papi, coucou Mamie!" Sebastian said to his grandparents before he sat on the couch to talk with them.

After the video chat ended, his mom came down and sat next to him on the couch.

"How about we spend the day together?" She said with a smile. "I've missed my son."

"I would like that too." Sebastian said.

"Génial."

So he spent his day playing board games with his mother and viewing old photo albums from when he was little, helping his mother cook and showing her the photos he had taken since his arrival in New York. At some point, they happened to be looking at the photos he had just taken the day before, at Leroy's wedding.

"Ooh, Rachel is so beautiful in this one!" His mom said emotionally. "Isn't she breathtaking?"

"She is."

"Elle est vraiment belle."

His eyes lit up as the view of her. He had taken this photo when she was walking down the aisle.

Suddenly, it hit him.

Rachel. Him and Rachel. Sleeping with her. Leaving this morning without telling her.

He gasped. "Shit."

"Language!" His mother said.

"Pardon." He said. "I just..."

He held his head in his hands, realizing how much he had fucked up. She had probably woken up this morning, finding herself alone, and thinking he didn't care about her. He didn't want her to think that she didn't mean anything to him.

"Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" His mom asked.

"I did something really bad." He explained.

OooO

 **A.N/ And this is the end of the chapter! I really hope you liked it, and it would make me really happy if you could review! Anyway, at this point there are 4 chapters left, unless I decided on writing an epilogue, but I don't think I will because I like the way I plan on ending the story. But yeah, we are near the end and I just wanted to thank evryone who has read, favorited, followed or review this story. I really like sharing what I write and it's so wonderful to see that people enjoy what I write, even though it is far from perfect. So thank you!**

 **See you soon ;)**

 **OooO**

 **Translations:**

 **\- 'Mon bébé' means 'My baby'**

 **\- 'Mamie' means 'Grandma'**

 **\- 'Papi' means 'Grandpa'**

 **\- 'Coucou' means 'Hi'**

 **\- 'Génial' means 'Awesome'**

 **\- 'Elle est vraiment belle' means 'She is really beautiful'**

 **-'Pardon' means 'Sorry' (even though it's kind of easy to get it, I know.)**

 **-'Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?' means 'What is it?'**


	11. If Then

**A.N./ Hello hello, here is the eleventh chapter of We Keep Loving Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this chapter :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

Rachel stirred as she woke up, her eyes slowly opening. The warm sun had entered the room through a small slit between the curtains. Rachel smiled as she remembered the events of the previous day. She turned around and then she froze. The place beside her on the bed was empty. Sebastian was gone.

She felt a shiver through her. It felt so wrong to be all alone there, after what had happened yesterday. They had slept together, but more than that, Rachel had felt like they had connected on an other level. She wasn't sure about what she was feeling, but she had thought Sebastian felt the same way.

And now he was gone.

Rachel examined the room, trying to find some kind of note he would have left for her, but there was nothing. It was as if he had never been there, except she still felt his presence on her bed and his cologne on the sheets. She still remembered his feather-like kisses on her head before she drafted off to sleep.

She sighed. Maybe he had had something to do, maybe he would call her, or text her at least. He _had_ to. Because what would it mean if he didn't? Would that mean that he had just been using her? That was pretty much what people had always thought of him when they were in High School, but Rachel knew better, he had never been like that. And he hadn't used Marley either, so why would he be using her?

She tried to let go of this ideas but as the time passed, she slowly loosed confidence in herself.

She hugged her father, saying goodbye to him and her new stepdad, wishing them all the happiness in the world, before she went to get her bus to the airport. After all, she had a show to perform the next day. She was the lead role, and nothing would stop her.

Nonetheless, she was really stressed for this. This was her first big opportunity here in College, and she didn't want to mess up, she wanted to prove her worth to everyone. But it seemed so much intimidating at NYADA. At McKinley High School, she was at the top, the very best. But you know what they say, big fish small pound. NYADA was definitely the level up.

She opened the door of the apartment and spotted Ben on the couch, he turned his head toward her at the sound of the door closing behind her.

"Hey, you're back!" He said.

"Hi!" Rachel said to him.

She went to her bedroom in order to leave her suitcase there and came back to the living room to sit and chat with Ben.

"So, this wedding?" He asked.

"It was wonderful." She said. "I cried. Multiple times."

Ben nodded.

"My dad, he seemed so happy, he deserves it."

"Hey, don't cry." Ben said as he wiped away a tear on Rachel's face.

She hadn't even noticed she had tears in her eyes. She let out a chuckle.

"Guess I wasn't finished crying."

"So anyway… I know you were nervous about seeing Sebastian, how did it go?"

"Fine." She answered. "I apologized and we talked and, you know, we're… okay."

She smiled despite her and looked at the floor as she felt a light blush on her cheeks. Things had been more than just fine. She had just hoped he wouldn't be mad at her for overreacting and that she hadn't' just ruined everything. But things turned out even better.

"Did… something happened?" Ben asked with a suspicious look on his face.

"Nothing happened." She shook her head as she lied.

Ben eyed her cautiously, squinting his eyes at her.

"I have a feeling you're lying to me but you seem happy so I'll let it slide."

She smiled back at him before her smile slowly fade away. She couldn't forget about her deception this morning, waking up without him by her side.

She tried her best, but she couldn't help all the possible bad scenarios to form in her head. She didn't want to think that he had just turned his back on her and continued his life like nothing had happened but she had to admit that it was a possibility. She hoped she was just being paranoid. But maybe she wasn't.

When hours passed with no calls or texts from Sebastian, she started to feel more and more like she wasn't being paranoid, and she started to feel less and less hopeful.

The door opened and closed loudly.

"I'm here bitches!" Eric said as she dropped her bag on the floor.

Eris was Ben's big sister. She was… wild, to say the least. Rachel was living with her and Ben since she had left the apartment she used to share with Hazel, and she was still learning to know her. Eris was completely unpredictable, but she was also fun and pretty easy to talk to. It kind of felt like having a big sister, who gave you advices, even if the delivery of those was kind of aggressive sometimes.

"I've had a _rough_ day." Eris said as she jumped on the couch next to her brother. "And guess who's unemployed again?"

"Really, Eris?" Ben said, desperate. "Again?"

"I didn't get fired this time!" She assured.

"Right." Ben said.

"I swear! The bar just closed business."

"Why?"

"It was a really shitty bar to be honest, and there weren't a lot of patrons."

Ben nodded in acceptance and Eris spread herself on the couch, forcing Ben and Rachel to take less space.

"So… are you two still coming tomorrow?" Rachel asked.

"Of course!" Ben said.

"Ben said you were a good singer so yeah." Eris said.

"Okay, good." Rachel tried to smile, but she didn't manage to hide her stress.

"Hey, why don't we watch a movie together?" Ben suggested.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Rachel said.

At least, she would be able to think about something else than her show or Sebastian. Because at the moment, both of these things seemed uncertain.

OooO

Rachel woke up on Monday morning feeling a bit dizzy. It was the day of the show, a day she had been waiting for so long.

She went to the theatre in the morning for their last rehearsal in costumes. Everything went totally fine in these rehearsal, and for the first time in days, the main emotion felt by Rachel wasn't stress. Now she felt calm and focused again, and she even felt… excited. She would have to work a lot to be an actress playing on Broadway, but it was nonetheless another step towards towards her dream.

In her dressing room, Rachel's heart beat fast as ten minutes separated her from the start of the show. She was going to sing and act and dance in front of people. She was going to do her favorite things and show people that she was good at it. It was _her_ moment.

Rachel joined the other student actors backstage as they prepared themselves to go on stage. Their director delivered a quick speech and that was it. It was time.

At her cue, Rachel walked on stage, facing the audience for the first time. So that was the feeling everyone talked about, this feeling of having hundreds of eyes on you and feeling that they are all here for you, and that what you're about to give them is a break from their everyday life, tonight, your job is to make them laugh, cry or smile. At this moment, Rachel knew instantly that she was born to be here.

She eyes the audience for a brief second, and that was all it took for her to notice him. Sebastian was in the orchestra, smiling at her. When he felt her eyes on him he waived lightly at her. Rachel felt butterflies in her belly. Seeing him right now felt too good to be true, almost as if she was just imagining him. And she started to sing. For the audience, for herself, for the cast, for the crew, but mostly for him.

At intermission, Rachel took a breath. Performing like that was even better than what she had hoped it to be, it was exhilarating. But it was also intense and she really needed that fifteen-minute break, even though she also had a costume change planned. She had felt somehow good, even though there were obviously mistakes. There was this one note in the opening song that she hadn't quite hit, and that dance move with her leg not completely straightened. She had to point this mistakes out, self-criticism was necessary to improve yourself. But she was still satisfied of her performance as of now, she just hoped the rest of the show would go just as well.

The show went entirely well. The cast bowed at the end, Rachel smiling from ear to ear as the audience cheered and clapped for them. Yeah, there was no doubt that was what she wanted to do for a living.

Rachel emerged out of her dressing room, congratulating the members of the cast she passed by, and entering the main hall of the theatre. She saw Ben and Eris rushing towards her.

"Rachel, you were so great!" Ben said as he took her in his arms.

"Thanks Ben." Rachel said, hugging him back.

"Yeah, that was impressive." Eris nodded. "You were clearly better than everyone else."

"Thanks." Rachel smiled as she laughed softly.

They talked about the show and other stuff and Rachel remembered something.

"Hey, hum, you know this bar, Club 51, they reserved it tonight for the cast and crew, so… do you wanna come too?" Rachel asked her friends.

"I'm a bit tired to be honest, sorry." Ben said.

"And I've been invited to a party by a former colleague." Eris explained.

"That's okay. I'll see you at home then."

Ben and Eris said goodbye and left the venue, then Rachel saw someone walking to her. She lifted her head, and saw Sebastian with a bouquet of flowers and a shy smile.

"Sebastian." She breathed.

"Rachel." He answered.

"You came." She said, as if she hadn't really really realized it somehow.

"Of course I did." Sebastian said, a softness in his eyes. The kind of softness that he didn't have for anybody, Rachel knew that. "You were amazing."

Rachel blushed as she took the flowers and lifted them to her nose to smell the spring-like scent of the bouquet.

"Thank you." She answered him, her cheeks still red.

She couldn't control it, and she was now almost sure that what she felt for Sebastian was far past what a friend would feel for another friend.

"Hey, Rachel, you're coming?" A cast mate asked her as he passed by.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Where?" Sebastian asked.

"There's a cast party organized at a bar. You can come if you want to."

"I'll come." Sebastian said confidently. "I mean, if you want me to." He said, more shyly.

"No, yeah, I…" Rachel muttered. "It's cool."

Rachel and Sebastian were awkwardly standing face to face. Rachel became suddenly nervous of what was coming next. Because what they were right now was so unsure and complicated and… she just wanted to know where they were. All she knew was that he came, and that counted for something, right?

"I'm sorry for leaving." He said. "My mom texted me, telling me it was urgent, so I rushed home just to find out that what she calls 'urgent' is my grandparents waiting to video chat with me."

He had a reason. It couldn't have been that he didn't care about her. She had knew it, inside her, but she couldn't deny that she had had doubts.

"I wanted to tell you sooner, but I knew you were leaving on Sunday and then you had to prepare for your show, and…"

"I get it, Seb."

She wasn't mad at him. She had just been nervous about wether or not she meant something to him. And… maybe she did, after all.

She heard slow clapping coming towards them and saw Evan walking towards them. Evan as in her ex-boyfriend Evan. That Evan.

"Congratulations for your performance." Evan said with a smirk. "Not perfect but pretty good for a Freshman."

"Evan what are you doing here?" Rachel asked.

"I came to see you, what else?" He said as if it was evident.

Evan's look drifted towards Sebastian and he threw him an icy stare.

"So that's who you replaced me with, huh? I guess I should've seen it coming." He said coldly.

She felt Sebastian getting annoyed beside her, his fists clenched as he prepared himself to respond. She knew he just wanted to defend her, but it was her own problem.

"I don't see how any of this concerns you." Rachel answered instead. "Aren't you the one who broke up with me?"

"Rachel," Evan took Rachel's hands in his and she immediately freed them, "I made a mistake, I admit it, but babe-"

"I'm not your babe anymore." Rachel said firmly.

"Come on, you gotta admit we were good together, we made sense." Evan glanced at Sebastian. "That's something you can't find with just anybody."

She saw Sebastian's face harden, as if he had been hurt by Evan's words. But she knew Sebastian and her made sense. They might be different, but they made sense, completed each other. In fact, Rachel felt like she made more sense herself when she was with him.

"Evan please, leave." She said.

Evan sighed dramatically. "Okay, but I won't give up." Then he winked at her, which almost disgusted her. "Call me if you come to your senses"

He left, Rachel feeling as if somehow it had became colder in here since he had arrived in this place.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked her.

Rachel looked at him, still a bit troubled by the encounter. "Yes."

She wasn't going to let Evan ruined everything. He had no right to come back after all this time, after finally everything seems to go fine, just to ruin everything with his manipulative way of talking. All he said about Rachel and Sebastian not making sense or whatever was false, she knew it. But it was true that he had a way of saying it that could almost make you believe it.

"He's wrong, you know." Rachel told him. "I don't believe him."

"Me neither." Sebastian assured her.

"Good. Let's go to this cast party then."

OooO

Rachel laughed and took a sip of her drink.

"I mean, I'm not wrong, right?" Sebastian said. "If you had to take three things to a deserted island, wouldn't a boat be your first idea? Why does _nobody_ ever think of that?"

"I don't know, Seb." Rachel said as she laughed again.

"At least I know I would survive in this type of scenario."

"Ooh, you're _real_ smart." Rachel said, playfully elbowing him.

"Indeed I am." He winked at her, which earned him a smile from her.

"I missed your smile." Sebastian said, his look suddenly serious.

"It's been two days."

"Too long."

She looked at him. He had this vulnerability in his eyes. She couldn't say it was new to her, because it wasn't true. After all these years of knowing each other by heart, Rachel had seen him like that a lot, just as he had seen her too.

"We should see each other more often then." She said.

"How about a date?"

He caught her completely off guard. Despite herself, Rachel starred at Sebastian for a moment, mouth hanging open. His confidence seemed to falter.

"I'd like that." She finally said.

"Oh thank god." Sebastian let out a breath. "I thought you were going to say no."

"I wasn't!" She argued.

"You hesitated." He raised an eyebrow.

"Because I wasn't expecting it!"

"Why not?" He said. "I mean, after what happened, the kissing, and… the rest, I thought it was clear how I felt about you."

"I mean… we haven't really talked about it."

"Shit." He said under his breath.

"What?"

"I still haven't told you."

"What are you-"

"I'm in love with you."

A silence settled in between the two, and Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"I don't expect you to say it back." He said. "I just needed to say it."

Her heart had never beaten so fast, she was sure of it. She felt like she wasn't thinking straight and a million thoughts seemed to pop in her head. She wanted to say something, but it felt as if she didn't know how to.

"Anyway… Is Wednesday okay for you?" He said

"For what?"

"For the date."

"Yes, that would be perfect."

"Great." He nodded. "Hum, I'd have to go though, I've got an interview for an internship tomorrow."

"Oh really, that's great!" Rachel said happily. "Good luck then."

"Thanks." Sebastian said. "I'll call you."

She tiptoed and kissed him lightly, softly on the lips. He smiled against her lips, kissing her back with his hand on her waist before Rachel pulled away.

"Good night, Sebastian."

"Good night, Rachel."

OooO

Rachel came back sneakily in the apartment in order to not wake up Ben. Sebastian called, just as he had promised, and they talked until Rachel fell asleep. When she woke up the next morning and went on with her day, she just couldn't help but smile. She was happy. Incredibly happy. Sebastian was in love with her. She knew he loved her, just like she did, but being _in love_ with her, that was totally different. She didn't even knew exactly what she felt for him, but she wasn't worried about that. She knew she would understand it eventually, if she just left herself time to process this. But all she wanted to was to be next to him, and to kiss him and hold him, and… she felt so much for him. She just didn't want to rush and mistake these feelings for something they were not.

"You seem… happy." Ben said as he took the cup of coffee Rachel had just made him and started to drink it.

"What?" She asked, not wanting to seem obvious.

"Spill it." Ben said, seeing right through her.

"Sebastian asked me on a date." She said, her smile growing even more.

How could you even be so smily? She didn't even understand what was going on with herself.

"Oooh." Ben said with an eyebrow raised. "So… are you and him…?"

"I don't know what we are yet." She said.

"Well judging by this smile, you're _something_."

"I guess." Rachel said with a shy smile.

"Oh, look at you all shy and cute." Ben said as he shoved her playfully.

"What are we talking about?" Eris said as she entered the room.

"Rachel has a date." Ben teased her.

"Yeah, get it girl!" Eris said with a playful tone then winked at Rachel. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Oh my god, I won't ever tell you anything." Rachel chuckled.

But really, she didn't mind Ben and Eris teasing her, plus, she knew it was just for fun. But even if it hadn't been just for fun, today, nothing could rain on her parade.

Her phone rang, Sebastian's name lighting up on the screen. She excused herself and closed the door of her bedroom shut, finally answering.

"Hi! Hum, not that I'm not happy you called me, but I thought you had an interview this morning?" She said.

"I do. I just… I wanted to call you beforehand." He explained. "Hearing your voice makes me feel better somehow."

Rachel started to curl a strand of her hair around her finger. She was almost embarrassed at how middle-school-girl this gesture was, but she didn't care. It was weird how someone you had know your entire life could make you feel feelings so new.

"Really?" She asked, not totally believing him.

"Yeah. It's just… knowing that even if you're not with me physically, you're somewhere thinking of me." He said. "I just need to know that, and I'll feel better, because I feel so lucky that if someone was thinking of me, it would be you. Just knowing that, I mean… I feel like I can do everything."

Rachel's breath got caught in her chest. How could he say something so simple yet so meaningful?

"Anyway, I should go, I think there are going to call my name." He said.

"Okay, good luck, Seb! If anyone deserves it, it's you." She said. If hearing her voice made him feel better, she was going to try her best to make him feel better. "You're smart, resourceful, ambitious and hardworking. And you're also the most amazing person I've ever met."

"Thanks, Rach. You're also the most amazing person I've ever met. You're my everything." Rachel tried to suppress a squeal of happiness. Even though it wasn't the first time he said those words to her, she felt just so special. "So, for tomorrow, is eight okay? I'll send you the address of the restaurant."

"That's perfect. I can't wait." She told him.

"Me neither. I've gotta go, bye, love you!" He said and hung up.

Her heart was beating fast, her cheeks were flushed, and she felt like dancing and twirling all around the room. What was she even feeling? What that was love felt like? It must be it. Because if love was even better than that, she didn't think she could handle it. Was she actually in love with Sebastian? Sure, she had had some troubling feelings for him in the past, after loosing her virginity to him. But that was so different from actually being in love with him.

She felt like she couldn't process it. But it was what love felt like, right? Being absolutely disconnected from the world and only wanting to be with this person. Because right now that was all she wanted. She didn't even know how they had come to that, but it felt so right.

She felt closer to him that she had ever felt close to him or anybody else, he was her rock, the first person she wanted to see when she woke up. He was her favorite person, and she was starting to think that maybe she had fell in love with Sebastian.

Later that day, Rachel decided to call Sophie. She had hoped to see her when she had travelled back to Lima, but with the wedding and everything she hadn't find the time to pay her a visit. A call wasn't as good as a real in-person talk, but it would have to do.

"Hello?" She heard Sophie's voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi Sophie, it's Rachel." She answered.

"Oh, Rachel, I'm happy to hear your voice! How are you?"

"Good, as always, and you?"

"Very good. Ah, I miss those days when I would see you almost everyday at my house."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to come see you last time." She apologized.

"Oh, ma chérie, no need to worry, I understand. Oh, Sebastian showed me pictures of the wedding, you looked absolutely gorgeous!"

"Thanks."

"I'm glad you two are speaking again." Sophie made a short pause, as if thinking. "You know, it makes me worry less to know that Sebastian and you have each other, I wouldn't want anybody else to be looking after him in this big city."

"I'm glad I have him too."

"Hey, will you happen to stop by Lima during this summer?" Sophie asked.

"Actually, I was thinking about staying in the city, audition a little, just to train myself. But I'm not sure yet." She said.

"Oh, well, I'm happy you get to realize your dreams, sweetie, you deserve it." Sophie said.

"Thank you Sophie." Rachel answered, her heart a little heavy at the idea that she wasn't going to see her second mom before a few months at least. "I miss you too."

"Love you sweetie." Sophie said. "Call me more often!"

"Will do! Love you too."

And the call ended.

A bit later, she found herself in deep conversation with Kurt, who was going to be in New York during this summer for an internship. Since he had started his year at UCLA, studying Fashion Designing, Kurt had really found his vocation.

"You have to stay in New York! Imagine everything that we could do if we both were in the city for the summer, that would be so cool!" Kurt said enthusiastically.

"I'm still not sure…" Rachel said.

"Oh, come on, just think about it! It would be awesome!"

Rachel thought about it. Sure, it would be really fun to spend the summer with Kurt because she had missed him, and she did wanted to try and audition for some shows.

"Yeah, I'll definitely think about it."

OooO

The next day, Rachel was so cheerful, she woke up with a smile on her face, deciding to go buy a new dress. This date was definitely worth a new dress.

Rummaging through the garments at the cute little store next to her school, Rachel found herself humming along to a song in her head. She was in total bliss. She was so excited, she couldn't wait. It didn't feel like just a date, it felt like it was important. She finally found a yellow flowery dress that was perfect and bought it, not caring about how much she was spending.

She sang on the way back home and continued to sing in various parts of the apartment as she got ready, getting dressed, curling her hair, putting makeup on, and choosing her shoes. She was in front of the door, ready to go out, taking a deep breath.

"Have a good time." Ben told her.

She told him good night with a wave of the hand, and she left.

She arrived in front on the restaurant at eight o'clock, excited and nervous. It was almost time. Was she supposed to tell him that she thought she was in love with him when he arrived? No, that would be weird, she would tell him later, when the time seemed right.

She waited for him, he was probably a little bit late, nothing to worry about, it had only been ten minutes. Then it turned into 20 minutes, then 30 minutes.

She got her phone out of her pocket to call him, to know if there was anything that prevented him from joining her. But no response. She was certain there was a reason for it, nonetheless.

After 45 minutes, she decided to go home. She would try to call him later, but right now there was really nothing she could do.

But when she arrived to her apartment, she saw him.

"Sebastian?" She asked.

He was leaning his back against the wall and he straightened up as he heard her. He had his head down.

"Is everything okay? You didn't… you didn't come." She said, her eyes searching him.

When he finally looked at her, it was with pained eyes. Her heart dropped in her chest, something felt wrong.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong." He finally said.

"What?" She asked, completely confused.

"It wasn't a good idea me and you." He let out, his voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.

"What are you talking about, Sebastian?"

"We're not… we can't be together, Rachel."

"But… why?"

"Because we just aren't meant to be, I changed my mind."

"What? This doesn't make sense, yesterday you told me the contrary." She was starting to loose her patience. What was going on? "You said I was your _everything_!"

"Well I lied!" He almost exclaimed back.

Rachel was breathing heavily. That couldn't be happening. It seemed like a joke. He would never say. The Sebastian she knew would never say that.

"You don't mean that." She breathed.

"I do, Rachel."

She looked at him, scanning for any sigh that could tell her that it wasn't true. But there was nothing. And he just left without another word.

"Wait!" She shouted, trembling.

But he didn't stop. He turned around the corner and that was it. He was gone.

And nothing made sense anymore.

OooO

 **A.N./ Well, well, well. This is the end of the chapter, hope you guys are not too mad at me. I know this chapter was a bit shorter than usual, but the next one will be longer and will hopefully help you understand what happened. As always, don't hesitate to review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until next time!**


	12. Memories

**A.N./ Hi! Here is a new chapter of We Keep Loving Anyway, but this chapter is different than the others. It is composed by various memories, moments that happened before or during the story, some are written in Rachel's POV, some in Sebastian's POV. In order to not confuse you, the moments are written in a chronological order. Also, just so you can really situate the story, chapter 1 started in September 2017 and chapter 11 was in May 2019, so technically Rachel and Sebastian are born 2000.**

 **Oh, also, if you were confused after the last chapter, you might understand what happened in this chapter…**

 **I really hope you will enjoy this chapter just as much as I have enjoyed writing it :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

 **February 2006 - Kindergarten**

Sebastian was sick today. He should have told his mom, but he didn't feel very sick and he knew that if his mom thought he was sick, she would cancel going to the swimming pool after school. And he really wanted to go to the swimming pool.

It was cold outside, so when the bell rang the start of playtime, he hid under his desk while the other kids went outside to play on the playground. The teacher didn't even see him, and he felt proud of himself. Sebastian took a car toy and started to make it roll on the floor, then he saw two feet next to his car. He lifted his head and found out it was Rachel. He hadn't really ever talked with her, and he certainly wasn't her friend. But she seemed sad.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

They both knew they weren't allowed to be in the classroom during playtime, and Sebastian didn't want to get caught.

"None of your business." He said. "And what are _you_ doing here?"

"Nobody wants to play with me." she said with a disappointed voice.

He wasn't her friend. Not that he had that many friends, and she didn't either. But he felt sad for her.

Rachel sat on the floor and looked around.

"Are you looking for a car?" He asked and she nodded. "They are in there." He pointed to the big closet in the corner of the room.

She got up and walked up to the closet and he followed her. They opened the door and started to search in the different boxes. Sebastian walked into the closet, finding a nice spot and seating down.

"It's actually pretty cool in here." He said.

"But we're not supposed to be here!" She warned him.

"Oh, come on, you're no fun."

Rachel sighted and sat next to Sebastian. The space was tight, but they didn't care.

"You're right, it's pretty cool!" She said.

An idea suddenly popped in his head. "Wait, I'm gonna close the door so it's like a secret hiding place."

"Yes, do it!" She said excitingly.

Sebastian closed the door and the two of them played with the toys in the boxes until the bell rang. Playtime was over.

They heard the other kids coming back in the classroom.

"We should get out." Rachel whispered.

"Okay." He said reluctantly.

Rachel tried to push the door, but she didn't succeed. "It doesn't want to open." She said, her voice low.

"What? Let me try it." He whispered back.

He tried to push it, but it didn't work. It was locked. He turned his head towards Rachel, they looked at each other with panicked looks. They were in big trouble.

The next day, Sebastian was playing on the floor, this time he was allowed to, and everyone was playing with each other, but Sebastian was alone. The previous day, the teacher had found Rachel and him in the closet. They had been punished (no playtime in the afternoon), and when his mom had known, she had told him that they wouldn't go to the swimming pool after all. So he was a bit broody today.

Rachel sat next to him and made her car roll next to his.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Playing with you."

"Why?"

"Because we're friends now."

Sebastian looked at her, incredulous.

"No we're not." He said.

"We are." She insisted.

"Whatever."

But he played with her anyway. Maybe he didn't care if she was her friend or not. And maybe she would be a good friend to play with after all.

OooO

 **December 2006 - 1st Grade**

Rachel was strolling down the street, her father holding her small hand in his. She couldn't stop humming and smiling to anyone she met. She was so happy! The day before had been her sixth birthday, and her father had surprised her with two tickets for the musical The Wizard Of Oz at their regional theatre! Her father owned a lot of Broadway recordings and discs, and she had listened to every single one of them. She had also watched Funny Girl with him, The Wiz as well. But today, she would see her first on-stage musical! She was so excited, she knew she was going to love it.

When the lights came back at the end of the show, Leroy turned to his daughter.

"So, did you like it?" He asked.

"It was awesome!" She said. "Thank you daddy." She jumped in her arms.

"Anything for my baby girl." He said. "I'm glad you liked it."

They waited outside by the stage door. Rachel's hands were sore from clapping as loudly as she could at the curtain call, but she didn't care. The actress playing Dorothy arrived and signed her playbill, and Rachel squealed of joy.

"One day I want to be like her." She told her dad with determination.

"I'm sure you will." He answered before kissing the top of his head.

They went back home, Rachel's head filled with memories and new dreams.

OooO

 **August 2007 - 1st Grade**

Sebastian shot the ball but Matthew stopped it. It was almost the start of his second year of Elementary School and Matthew had agreed to play soccer with Sebastian, and he was the goalkeeper.

"I lost again." Sebastian said, disappointment in his voice.

"It's okay buddy, just try again." Matthew said with his thumbs up.

Sebastian was focused on the ball and shot it directly in the goal.

"I did it!" He shouted.

Matthew ran towards Sebastian, taking him in his arms and lifting him in the arms. "You're a champion!" He said.

Sebastian laughed as he celebrated his victory. He saw his mom, inside the house, looking at them through the window. She was smiling. Sophie had married Matthew when Sebastian was four, so three years ago, and she always seemed happy since then. Sebastian loved Matthew, he was nice and played with him and he was very funny too.

Everybody said that Matthew was his stepdad, and he had heard some kids say that it meant he wasn't his real dad. He didn't agree with them. He knew he had had an another father before, he remembered briefly, his mom told him that he lived in Texas now. His name was Charles, and Sebastian used to have his last name, Lawson. But when his mom married Matthew, she changed her last name to Matthew's, and so did Sebastian. He had kind of wanted to have his mom's maiden name, Deslorieux, it was french and Sebastian thought it was cool. But Matthew's last name was cool too. Smythe. He could get used to that name.

Despite what others could say, Matthew was his dad, period.

With Sophie, Matthew and him, to Sebastian, they were his family and he loved them. And he knew he was loved.

OooO

 **June 2008 - 2nd Grade**

Sebastian was sitting next to his mom and Leroy in the theatre. It was Rachel's Dance Gala and he had accepted to come but it was really, really boring. He sunk into his seat, he couldn't wait for this to end and for him to leave this place.

But then she came on stage. They were at least ten other girls on stage with her, but she was the one shinning the most. She was actually really good, clearly the most talented of her group. She was also the one who seemed to take this very seriously.

And when he looked at her face, he saw how proud she was. He was amused. He had never saw her like that, in her element. But she was amazing.

After the show, the parents were going into the hall to search for their kids, and Sebastian, Sophie and Leroy did the very same. As soon as he spotted Rachel, she rushed to him, jumping into his arms and missing to make him fall on his back.

"You came!" She said.

"Of course." He said when she pulled away.

She was still in her costume and the tulle was flowing around her legs as she was almost jumping up and down.

"What did you think of it?" She asked all of her guest.

"You were wonderful, honey." Leroy said.

"Yes, I was very impressed." His mom said with a large smile.

"Did you see see my turn?" Rachel said as she did a little demonstration.

"Wow, it was so beautiful!" Leroy said.

"Thank you, daddy." She said, turning to Sebastian. "Did you see it, Seb?"

"Yeah, you were the best Rach."

She smiled from ear to ear and he smiled back.

He had thought she would be a bit sad, hurt by the fact that her own mother wasn't there on a day that was important to her. But right now, she seemed delighted that he came. If that was what it took to make her happy, he would come the all of her next Galas.

OooO

 **January 2009 - 3rd Grade**

"Hi Sophie!" Rachel said when Sebastian's mother opened the door.

"Hi sweetie! Are you here to play with Sebastian?" The sweet woman asked.

"Yes, he said we could play with the new water guns he had for Christmas!"

Sophie laughed lightly. "I'm going to call him for you then."

Sebastian came down a few minutes later, running down the stairs.

"Hi Rach!" He said, then he squinted his eyes as if thinking. "I'm going to take the water guns." And he started to run up the stairs again.

Rachel laughed. Sebastian always forgot something, she wasn't even surprised.

Sophie went to the kitchen, probably to make them a snack. Rachel scanned the room, her eyes falling on the piano next to the window. She knew Sophie taught piano to other children. She thought it was beautiful, the piano. She felt herself drained to it. She started to walk towards it, hesitating about sitting on the stool or not when she reached it. She fidgeted with her hands, and finally sat down in front of the piano. She wondered what to do. It was closed; she wouldn't open it, she didn't even know what she would do if she opened it.

"You want to play?" Sophie's voice echoed behind her.

"I don't know how to." She said.

"Do you want me to show you?"

Rachel nodded and Sophie slid next to her on the piano stool. She opened the lid and positioned her fairy-like fingers on various keys. She looked at Rachel with zeal, as if to ask if she was ready, and Rachel smiled back to her.

Sophie started to play a soft, dreamy melody. It was so magical, so beautiful, she was awe-struck. She wished she could do something as pretty as that.

Sophie stopped playing and turned to Rachel. "So, do you want me to teach you?"

"Yes!" Rachel said.

Sophie put her hands on top of Rachel's, playing the notes slowly.

"Now your turn." She said.

Rachel tried on her own but failed.

"I'm going to do it with you." Sophie said as she put her fingers on the same keys but an octave lower.

Rachel followed Sophie, and surprisingly, she started to get it.

"You're a natural, Rachel!" Sophie encouraged her.

Rachel smiled shyly. Sophie was one of the nicest people she knew. She baked and gave her big bear hugs when she was sad. She was here when Rachel's own mother wasn't. She was thankful for having her in her life.

"Rachel, I found them!" Sebastian said as he came back downstairs.

Rachel looked at Sophie, who mouthed her 'go have fun' and she followed Sebastian to the garden. She would play with Sophie another time. After all, she was in this house a lot anyway.

OooO

 **March 2010 - 4th Grade**

"Come on, blow the candles!" Sophie encouraged him.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He knew it was going to be easy. He was a big boy after all. It was March 3rd, his tenth birthday. For the first time, he had two numbers in his age.

He blew the candles, but… one didn't die off. He blew it quickly to make sure no one would notice it. Everybody cheered him. His parents were there, and Rachel too. Sophie had suggested he invited some other kids from his class, but Sebastian had said no. All of the people he cared about were in this room. Well, except for Leroy, but he had an interview at the bank to open his own bookstore and couldn't move it to an other day. Sebastian wasn't mad at him, he knew it was important for Leroy.

"Congratulation buddy," Matthew said as he patted Sebastian's back, "you're not a little boy anymore, huh?"

"No, I'm almost an adult!" He said.

"That's right!" His dad high-fived him.

His mom cut the cake and gave them each a slice. Sebastian ate quickly, he wanted to play in the garden with Rachel.

"Come on, Rachel, hurry up!" He said to his friend who was still eating her cake.

She finished her cake and Sebastian took her hand, almost running to the garden.

"Hep, hep, hep!" Sophie stoped him.

Sebastian reluctantly came back and his mom kissed him on the forehead. "Je t'aime mon bébé."

"And I love you too." Matthew gave him a big hug.

"I love both of you too." Sebastian said with a smile.

He and Rachel disappeared in the garden while the adults talked.

Later, after Leroy had come to bring Rachel back home, Sebastian heard a knock on his door.

"Come in." He said.

Matthew entered and sat next to Sebastian on his bed.

"So did you enjoy your birthday?" He asked his son.

"Yes!" Sebastian answered.

"I'm glad you did." He said, pausing for a few seconds. "Hey, I was thinking about something for next year, would you like if we went on a weekend in a camping for your eleventh birthday?"

Sebastian looked at him, unbelieving. "Really? That would be awesome!" Then he stopped to think. "Oh, but Rachel wouldn't be able to come…"

"If her parents are okay with that, I would be more than happy if she came." His dad said.

"Thank you dad!" Sebastian said, hugging his father quickly.

"It's my pleasure." Matthew said. "Your mom doesn't like tents though, so we're going to have to rent a bungalow."

"I can do bungalows." Sebastian nodded.

Matthew laughed and said goodbye to Sebastian before leaving the room.

Sebastian had been ten years old for a day, but he already couldn't wait to be eleven.

OooO

 **August 2010 - 4th Grade**

Rachel hung up again. The school year had ended three weeks ago, it was early August. Her and Sebastian had planned to have fun and do all kinds of things before they entered 5th Grade. Last week, she and Sebastian had been to the swimming pool. Rachel had tried to convince him to let Marley come with them, and he had said okay for the next time. But since then, she hadn't heard about him. She had tried to call everyday, multiple times a day, but every time she got his answering machine. At first, she had thought maybe he was mad at her and didn't want to talk to her because of the Marley thing.

But it had been almost two weeks, and she was convinced something was wrong. Sebastian and Rachel had had their fair share of fights, but it never lasted that long. Something was happening, and Rachel was starting to worry. Which is why she asked her dad if she could go to his house, to make sure everything was okay. But he didn't seem to have the same opinion.

"Dad, please, I think something is going on!" She tried to reason with him.

"Rachel…"

"It's important, please, please, please!"

Leroy sighted. "You should take a seat." He said as he gestured for the place next to him on the couch. Rachel raised an eyebrow but still sat next to her father.

"You're right, something happened." He told her.

"What? What happened? Is Sebastian alright?" She said, panicking.

"No, he's…" Leroy took a deep breath. "Matthew was in an accident. He… he died Rachel."

Rachel's face fell. She understood the words. But yet, it felt so surreal.

"He… what?"

She had never had a relative dying. Well, except for her grandmother on her mother's side, but it's not like she had ever met the woman, so it hadn't hurt that much. But to lose your father… If she ever lost her father, she didn't know what she would do, so she couldn't even imagine how hard it was for him. She wanted to be here for him so bad… She needed to be here for him.

"It has been really hard for Sophie, and she sent him to his grandparents in France for the summer." Leroy said.

"Dad, why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have went and seen him before he left! I could have…"

"Rachel…"

"Do you have their number? I could call, I could call at their house."

"I don't Rachel, you can't-"

"Can you call Sophie then? She must have it, I could ask her for the number and then call him, I _have_ to call him."

"Rachel, please." Leroy said.

Rachel finally stopped talking. And it felt worse. She had no choice but to not ignore the big lump in her throat.

"Sophie needs time for herself. She knew she wasn't in the right place to take care of her son so she asked her parents to take this responsibility. He will stay at his grandparents until Sophie is ready. I know you just want to help, but… you just can't do anything about that."

Matthew was dead. The Matthew she knew, who was so nice to her. And Sebastian had lost his father, and she could do nothing to help him. Nothing.

Rachel felt the tears fill her eyes and she just ran upstairs to lock herself in her room. She cried for some time and then just fell asleep.

Two weeks later, towards the end of July, Rachel was in the kitchen eating breakfast when she saw a letter with her name on it. Her mother had probably left it for her before leaving for work. She took the letter, and that's when she saw the french stamp. This letter was from France, it had to be from Sebastian! She opened the letter quickly, starting to read its content.

 _Dear Rachel,_

 _You know, it's the first time I'm writing a letter. Like, a real letter, not a postal card or as an assignment for school. But I guess there's a first time for everything._

 _I don't know if anyone told you. But my dad was in a car accident and he died. I heard the police officer when he was talking to my mom. She didn't even told me about it afterward. She just cried. And she sent me here. I mean, I get it, her husband died and she's sad. I understand that, but to send me somewhere else, it's like she doesn't care about my feelings. She's not the only one hurting, after all._

 _Honestly, I'm not really okay. I mean, my Dad died, so it's to be expected. My grandmother told me that grief is something you have to go through and that afterwards it feels better, but honestly I just feel like the world is ending and I don't feel like this feeling is going to stop soon. At least I've stopped crying after a week. Now, all I feel is emptiness. It sounds so depressing, the way I talk about it, but that's also what it feels like, so._

 _I wish you were here. I know you would let me lay my head on your lap and you would sing some song to me. I would pretend to be annoyed, but we would both know I would actually like it and I would fall asleep after a few minutes._

 _I guess writing a letter is better than nothing, but I really wish I could hear your voice. I wanted to call you, I know your number by heart, but my grandmother said their phone doesn't allow to call in a foreign country._

 _Anyway, I hope you're not too worried about me, I know I made it seem like I was doing really bad, but I could be worse. My grandparents are really nice and I eat croissants every breakfast, I can't complain about that. It's just hard to deal with death, but I don't really have a choice anyway._

 _Well, that's all. I hope you're well, I'm sending you kissed from the other side of the ocean, and I hope I'll be back soon._

 _Bye, Love you._

Rachel tried not to cry, but had to wipe a few tears anyway. She felt sadness and relief at the same time. She just wished she was there for him, and she couldn't. But reading his words, it felt good. That night, she fell asleep with the letter right on her bedside, feeling somehow closer to her best friend.

OooO

 **September 2010 - 4th Grade**

It was already September 4th. Sebastian had been in France for two whole months now. Two months since he had seen his mother, or heard about her. Two months since she had sent him away. His Dad was dead. The person who had never let him down was dead, and his mom had just abandoned him.

It's like she didn't acknowledge that other than being her husband, he also was his father. Like it didn't matter to her. She needed time. And somehow, he was too much for her.

So he was stuck here. His grandparents lived in a small town, an hour away from Paris. They were pretty old school. There was a TV, but other than that, nothing to have fun with.

Since his mom wasn't 'ready' to take him back yet, he had to go to school. In France. Yes, his mom spoke French with him at home, he knew some stuff, but clearly not enough to go to actual school in France with actual classes in French. Also, he didn't want to go to a new school with people he didn't know.

He just hoped he could come back to his house, with his Mom, and his Dad and Rachel. It was so weird to think that a few months ago, they were talking at dinner, and now… He was gone. He loved him so much, and it hurt so much…

His grandfather came in his bedroom to make sure he was ready for school. Sebastian was dreading it, but he didn't really have a choice.

As expected, school was lame. Some people spoke to him, but they didn't seem like people he could ever be friends with. He wished Rachel was there with him, it would be so simple then. If only he could have stayed in Lima, she would be with him. He had wanted to call her, but his grandparents said that it wasn't possible. So he had sent her a letter, because he didn't see how he could contact her in any other way. He had even wrote his grandparents' address at the end of the letter, but he wasn't expecting a letter back.

When he came back from school, his grandmother gave him an envelope. He wondered who it was from, and then he opened it. He knew it was Rachel's right away, spotting the golden star next to her name at the end of the letter. He sat on the couch to read it.

 _Dear Sebastian,_

 _I was really happy to hear about you, I was really worried about you. I'm so sorry about Matthew. It breaks my heart, and its breaks my heart even more to know that you're hurting. I wish I was there too, so i could comfort you. I mean, that's what a best friend is supposed to do, right?_

 _I know it's hard, and it's normal to hurt. I know it might seem hard to believe, but it will get better, your grandmother's right. That being said, you don't have to pretend to be happy. Take all the time you need, and if you come back I'll be by your side if you need me._

 _As I'm writing to you, it's August 12th. I hope you'll be back for the start of the year, it won't be the same without you. I miss you, a lot. I told Marley I couldn't go to the swimming pool with her, it didn't feel right._

 _I really, really miss you. And I love you, a lot. I know there's an ocean between us, but I hope you know that all the way back to Lima, your best friend is thinking about you._

 _You're my favorite person in the whole universe,_

 _Love, Rachel_

For the next weeks, Rachel and Sebastian sent each other letters. Sure, they had to wait to receive a letter, but it was better than nothing.

It was end of October when his grandfather told him to pack his suitcase. He knew already then that he was coming back home. Finally.

When he landed, he wondered how seeing his Mom would be like. He didn't want to be mad at her, but… why did she leave him? It felt so convenient that now she wanted to see him, he didn't know how to take it. But he had miss her profoundly nonetheless, he couldn't ignore that.

When he saw his Mom, he felt so many different things. Joy, disappointment, hope, resentment. She ran up to him, and when she wrapped him in her arms, tighter than ever before, all he felt was relief.

"I'm so sorry Sebastian." She said, her head buried in the crook of his neck as she cried. "I love you so, so much."

He hugged her back.

"I will never leave you anymore." She said.

And suddenly, he was convinced of it. Someday, it would get better.

OooO

 **November 2010 - 5th Grade**

Sebastian just came back from France earlier in the afternoon, and Rachel had been invited at their home. When she had arrived, something struck her. Sophie was so far from being the bubbly, happy woman she had always known. She seemed… far. Like she wasn't even here. Her look seemed blank, as if it would hurt to be physically _and_ mentally here. Rachel gave her a big hug. She had missed her, and she knew what she had been through, she wanted her to feel loved.

Sebastian looked different too. He hadn't that glitter of light in his eyes anymore. Rachel knew then and there that she would do everything she could to make him feel better, to make him feel like himself.

"Sophie?" She asked.

"Yes, sweetie?" Sophie asked, even her smile seemed tired.

"Can I stay the night?"

"Of course, just call your parents first."

So she did. She called her father, who told her she could stay. She told Sebastian about it, and for the first time since she had saw him today, he gave her a genuinely content smile.

She had missed their sleepovers. They used to have a lot of them, when one of them was sad, or just because one of them wanted it.

When they felt tired, they both slipped under the covers. Usually, they would talk until one of them fell asleep. But tonight, Sebastian didn't seem in the mood to talk, and she respected that. So Rachel just wrapped him in a big hug, stroking his hair with a hand. Sebastian sighted slowly, and he hugged her back tightly, as if he was using all the strength he had left to do this.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too."

OooO

 **August 2011 - 5th Grade**

Rachel was strolling down the street to Sebastian's house. She hadn't seen him for a month, while he was at summer camp and she was at theatre camp. She was excited to see him, it was cool to meet other people, but ultimately, she had to see Sebastian, he was her best friend after all.

Sophie opened the door and let her in, Rachel saying hi and talking a bit before she went upstairs. She didn't bother knocking before she entered his room.

"Hi!" She said as she took him in his arms.

"Hi yourself." He said as he returned her embrace.

They both sat on Sebastian's bed. Rachel looking around the room. He still hadn't unpacked. She, on the contrary, had unpacked as soon as she had came back home.

"So," she turned to him, "how was that summer camp?"

"It was good." He nodded. "We went to the lake a lot to swim, we painted and surprisingly I liked it, we had like a sleepover under the stars and games at night, we went on a hike… Oh, and I'm bisexual now."

Rachel looked at him with incomprehension.

Sebastian shook his head. "I didn't mean to say that _now_ I was bi, cause I've _always_ been bi. It's just that now I know I'm bisexual."

"What?" Rachel asked, confused. She felt stupid, but she really didn't understand what he had just said. Sebastian had always been the smartest of the both of them anyway. "I don't get it."

Sebastian sighted, preparing himself for an explanation. "Well, you know what gay means, right?"

Rachel shook her head, she felt really stupid. But Sebastian nodded in a reassuring way, as if to tell Rachel that it was okay, and she felt better about not knowing.

"It's when someone likes someone of the same gender." He said and Rachel opened her eyes wide. Why did today all that Sebastian was saying seem so confusing?

"It's… when a boy likes another boy, or if a girl likes another girl, you understand?" He reformulated and Rachel nodded, finally she thought she understood it.

"Well, I am bisexual, so that means I like boys and girls." He said.

Rachel furrowed her brows. "Am I bisexual too?" She asked and now Sebastian was the one who seemed confused. "I mean, I like boys and girls too. Look, I like you and you're a boy, but I also like Marley and she's a girl, does that mean I'm bisexual?"

Sebastian tried not to laugh. "No, that's…" He took a breath and finally he was serious again. "That's not that kind of 'like', it's the romantic 'like', you know, like, you would like to kiss the person, or you could fall in love with the person."

"Oh. _Oh_ …" Now she actually got it. "How do you know that?"

Not to be rude or anything, but Sebastian was just eleven years old. How could you know something so determining at such a young age?

"At summer camp, a guy asked if I wanted to kiss him and I said yes. We kissed, and I liked it. And on the last day I kissed a girl and I liked it too."

Rachel nodded. It made sense.

"So… if I was in love with Marley, I would be bisexual too?" She asked as a way to really understand what he was saying.

"You could be, but you could also be lesbian." Rachel raised an eyebrow and he explained. "It's gay but for girls."

She made a serious face as she nodded. She wanted to seem like now she understood him.

"Why? Do you think you're a lesbian?" He teased her.

"No," she said firmly, "I only want to kiss boys."

Sebastian's eyebrows rose in surprise and he seemed wary. "Is there like, one boy in particular you want to kiss?"

"No!" Rachel said. "I don't have time for that, I have to work on being a Broadway actress, remember?"

The concern on his face faded away and he smiled. "I know."

OooO

 **December 2011 - 6th Grade**

Sebastian and Rachel were walking home from school. It had snowed the night before, and white snow was decorating the pavement.

Rachel hadn't been talking since they left school, she seemed pensive, a bit sad even.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Marley said she was going to move out." She said instead. "After Christmas break, she's going to California."

Sebastian's eyes widened in shock. He didn't know that. He wasn't super close to Marley, but he knew Rachel was. She must be really disappointed.

"I'm gonna miss her." She said with a sigh. She had been fixating the road for the whole way back.

He didn't know what to do, he didn't want her to be sad. He just stared at the road like she was doing and then he had an idea. While she was still walking, he slowed down just a bit and crouched down, collecting snow in his hands. When he had made the perfect snowball, he called her, "Rachel!"

She turned around and he threw the snowball directly into her face. Her mouth was gaping, she looked at him with shock. "Did you just…?" And then she looked at him, eyes filled with challenge, and he knew he had succeeded.

"You're gonna _die_!" She screamed as she threw him a snowball.

They laughed and panted as their snow fight continued. He looked at her, she was smiling even though her hair was wet with melted snow.

"Hey, I've got something for you." He said, sinking his cold hand in his pocket and retrieving a glass unicorn figurine. "It's your birthday present."

Technically her birthday was in five days, but he felt like right now was the right time to give it to her. She took it in her hands, her mouth opened, and then looked at him stars in her eyes.

"It's so beautiful, Seb, thank you." And she kissed him on the cheek.

She smiled for the rest of the way, and he knew he had done the right thing.

OooO

 **March 2013 - 7th Grade**

"Hey, congrats Rachel!" Sebastian said as he entered Rachel's bedroom.

Their school was doing a small production of Beauty and the Beast and she had been cast as the leading role, Belle. He knew how proud of herself she was, as she should be. He was proud of her too. He knew how hard she worked, he knew she deserved it.

Sebastian sat on her bed next to her and noticed that she didn't seem as confident as she was usually.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing."

She seemed like she didn't want to bother him, like she thought it wasn't important.

"Rachel…" He nudged her playfully with his elbow.

He knew her too well, he knew she was lying. He gave her that soft smile that meant he wasn't going to judge her, and she gathered her courage.

"I'm supposed to kiss Nate," the guy who played the Beast, "at the end of the show."

"And you're nervous about it?"

Rachel nodded. She seemed so vulnerable this way, with her arms around her knees. She seemed almost ashamed. And she shouldn't be, she had no reason to be.

"I'm sure it will be fine, and Mrs Lennon will probably wait till the last rehearsal to make you two kiss anyway."

"Its not that." She almost whispered. She took her breath. "I thought my first kiss would be romantic, or at least a _real_ kiss. But… it's just going to be a scripted kiss."

He didn't know how to comfort her. He had had his first kiss in Primary School, and it had never been a big deal to him. But Rachel had saved her first kiss, he knew she wanted something meaningful.

"You still have plenty of time to have a real first kiss." He said. "At least a few months."

She chuckled. "Like it's gonna happen."

Sebastian frowned his eyebrows, looking at her, wondering what she meant by that. Did she not want to have a first kiss before the on-stage one? Did she just wanted the avoid the kiss?

"Don't pretend you don't know what I mean." She said, almost bitterly.

"But… I don't." He said. "I really don't."

"No one wants to kiss me, Sebastian." She explained, as if it was obvious.

"I'm sure that's not true."

"But it is, though." She looked at him with eyes full of sadness. "I'm not… pretty, or fun, or cool."

"Rachel…"

He wanted to tell her how wrong she was about all of this. He knew she wasn't confident in herself, even though she wanted people to think she was. He just wanted her to know how amazing she was.

"You're beautiful." He said. Because she was. She really was. Her hair was always shinning and her eyes were sweet and she was just beautiful. "You're cool." Rachel rolled her eyes. "For real, you're cool. You're so dedicated in your dream, you make us dream with you, that's super cool." He looked at her with fondness. "And you make me smile. Always. If you see me being sad or disappointed, you make it your first priority to make me smile, because you are the most amazing friend ever."

She looked at him, almost not believing him.

He shrugged. "So if that doesn't make anyone who would have the chance to kiss you incredibly lucky…"

She smiled at him, and she seemed to finally believe him. Her eyes were full of hope, and he hoped it would stay this way. He wished it could always be like that.

"Do you want me to be your first kiss?"

He had said that without even thinking, and now he was a bit embarrassed. Rachel's eyes were wide.

"I know it's not ideal, but… maybe a kiss from a friend is better than just a scripted one?"

He waited for her to answer, feeling nervous somehow.

"Yeah, you're… you're right." She said.

He nodded.

"Are you… are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes." He said with determination.

It was a bit awkward, having to find how they were supposed to position themselves, and how he was going to start this, but then his lips were on hers. He had expected it to be weird, because they had know each other for seven years. It was weird, a bit, but not in a bad way. It was just… not like he had expected it to be. Her lips were soft.

And then the kiss ended. He felt himself blush and he sighed, as if it could make it go away. It didn't matter anyway, she was the one he was supposed to reassure.

Later that day, when Rachel and Sebastian went downstairs and his dad asked what they had done, Sebastian blushed. That was weird, but it would pass eventually. Right?

OooO

 **June 2014 - 8th Grade**

Rachel stormed out of the venue, wanting to run out as fast as she could. She sat on the steps of the venue, burying her head in her arms, panting and sobbing. She felt so bad, so ashamed. She was useless.

She heard the door behind her open.

"Rachel…" Sebastian said.

He came and sat next to her. She couldn't stop crying, she just couldn't. He wrapped his arms around her, and she sobbed even more. She didn't know why.

He hugged her quietly, even as she stopped sobbing after some time. He didn't let go, and she was grateful for that.

"It's okay." He whispered.

But it was not. She had messed up. It was her Dance Gala, and her Mom was there. She hadn't come since Rachel was 6 years old, and now she was there. And Rachel had messed up in front of her. She wanted her Mom to be proud of her, she wanted to show her that coming here was worth it, and Rachel had fell on stage in front of her mother. She had ran out of the stage after that.

"You want to head back?" Sebastian asked.

She shook her head. She couldn't come back. How could she look at her mother in the eyes after that, knowing how much she had disappointed her.

"I know you're ashamed." He said, he knew her too well. "But you shouldn't be. Everyone knows mistakes happen."

He was right, but _she_ didn't make mistakes. Her mother never made any mistakes.

"I know you're worried about your mom," Sebastian said, "but she isn't disappointed, I swear. Everyone is just worried about you."

She was tempted to go back. She knew the older girls who's turn was soon had a really beautiful choreography and she wanted to see it.

"You can just come with us instead of going back with the other dancers. You can even sit on my lap, I don't mind." He suggested.

She lifted her head and Sebastian's gaze was so reassuring. He got up, reaching out his hand towards her. She took it and they went back to the theatre hand in hand.

OooO

 **September 2014 - Freshman Year of High School**

Sebastian was pretty confident as he entered the School with Rachel. It was their first day of High School, and he was sure it was going to be fine. Rachel, on the other end, seemed more nervous. She was biting her bottom lip and fidgeting with her fingers.

"Nervous?" He asked.

"A little bit." She answered. "But it's normal, i think. It's an important step, it's High School."

"Don't take it too seriously, it's _just_ High School."

Rachel shrugged.

He turned to her, a glint of playfulness in his eyes. "Wait, maybe you're finally gonna make friends! Other than me, I mean."

"Haha, very funny." Rachel said ironically. "And it's not like _you_ have friends."

"I don't like people, _nuance_."

"Except when you get to make out with them, right?"

"I don't make out with you, do I?" He smirked at her.

"Guess I'm the exception."

"You will always be."

They continued to walk until Sebastian realized Rachel wasn't next to him anymore. He turned around, and there she was… staring at a football player. He knew he was a football player because of his jacket. He seemed to be a freshman, so he probably had been to the football try outs before the start of the year. He turned around for a second and Sebastian read his name. Hudson.

Anyway, Rachel seemed captivating by him. He walked up to her and coughed to catch her attention.

"You okay?"

"Hum? Oh, yeah, I'm good." She played it off.

She was blushing and twirling a strand of her hair on her finger.

"Did you just like, fell in love at first sight?" He joked.

"What? No! _What_? I don't… I mean, it's not… it's… No…" She stuttered.

Sebastian looked at her. She actually looked flustered, and shy. He was worried now. She still had her eyes on him.

"I got more important things to do than date a stupid, _handsome_ , _dreamy_ quarterback." She said almost mindlessly. She realized what she had just said and she glanced away.

"Don't." He said firmly.

"Don't what?" She asked.

"Don't fall in love with one of those jocks. You're only gonna end up hurt."

"So you have a heart after all." She tried to laugh it off. "I thought you didn't care about anybody."

"Like I said, you're the only exception."

OooO

 **September 2014 - Freshman Year of High School**

When she had seen the Glee Club sign up on the wall, she had signed her name immediately, following it by a gold star like she always did. She had auditioned and now there she was, at the first lesson of the Glee Club. She had come in early just in case and sat in the front. There was another white boy sat in the back, dressed a bit extravagantly, but it suited him well. She waived at him, and he waived back.

Then a black girl came in. She screamed self-confidence. She seemed cool, Rachel thought. The girl sat next to Rachel.

"I'm Mercedes." The girl said as she turned to Rachel. "And you?"

"Rachel." She answered with a smile.

"Excited?" She asked.

"You have no idea." Rachel said and the two girls laughed.

"Hey, what's your name?" Mercedes asked as she turned around to the boy in the back.

"Kurt." He answered quietly.

"Come sit us, Kurt!" Mercedes said.

Kurt hesitated, but sat next to Mercedes nonetheless. He noticed Rachel's ring and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Wait, are you-"

"A fan of Barbra? Of course." She said.

The ring was a perfect copy of the one Barbra Streisand wore in My Fair Lady. She was surprised Kurt had recognized it, he must be a big fan too.

"Oh my god, me too!" Kurt said.

"I think we're going to be friends." Rachel said.

She hoped, at least. Because Sebastian was right, she didn't have any friends beside him since Marley had moved out.

A bit later, other people came in the room. Some cheerleaders, some other students and then he came in. The football player she had seen a few days ago. Her heart beat fast, and she was sure of it, this crush wasn't just a quick thing.

OooO

 **January 2015 - Freshman Year of High School**

Sebastian sighed. He was in the principal's office, getting reprimanded for having punched a student. The student, it's important to precise, was a jock who threw these slurpee beverage they sold at school - the 'slushies' - right at Rachel and her friends.

And so the Principle hadn't stopped talking since he had entered the office.

"If I can just interrupt you quickly, sir," Sebastian said. "This guy assaulted three people, violently throwing some liquid at them and humiliating them in the process."

"Well-"

"So tell me if I'm wrong, but how is what I did any worse than what he did?"

"You hit him, Mr Smythe," the Principal said, "that's not-"

"I only hit him because of what he had done to my friend, I was defending her. His only motivation was hurting people. And quite frankly, he will think he has the right to do it since I'm the one in this office and not him."

"I-"

"So are we finished yet?" Sebastian asked as he got up. The principal didn't say anything. "Great. Goodbye Mr Figgins."

He was glad he had somehow succeeded in getting out of this, because he knew it wouldn't be the last time he did this. If someone even dared do this to his best friend again, they would regret this.

OooO

 **March 2017 - Junior Year of High School**

They had lost. Rachel had thought they would win this time, the New Directions had worked really hard and they had won the Sectionals. She had had her first solo at sectionals and Mr Shue said he trusted her to have a solo at Regionals too. But they had lost Regionals to Vocal Adrenaline.

The rest of her teammates had returned to the bus, but she had decided to stay a bit. Maybe it was curiosity, she didn't know. But she stayed, watching Vocal Adrenalines lifting their trophy and taking photos.

"Rachel Berry." She heard behind her.

She turned around and standing in front of her was Jesse St James. The Jesse St James, lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline. They hadn't lost a competition since he had arrived in Carmel. he was extremely talented, Rachel recognized it.

"You know my name?" She asked, confused.

"Of course." He said with a smirk. "I observe the competition, you know. That was a pretty good solo, by the way."

"Thanks." Rachel said. "And you were…" Fabulous, amazing, phenomenal. "Great."

"Thank you." He said in response, looking at her intensely. "Hope to see you again Rachel."

"Yeah, same." She said, but he was already gone.

OooO

 **December 2017 - Senior Year of High School**

He didn't even realized what was happening, his fist just collided with Finn's face without him even thinking about it.

And then he remembered why. The bastard had cheated on Rachel. He had hurt his best friend, and he was going to pay for that.

"Dude, what the hell?" Finn said, rubbing his cheek.

It did seemed like the perfect moment for a second punch. So Sebastian punched him again.

"Fuck," Finn said, "why are you doing this?"

"You thought you could get away with cheating on my best friend? Think again motherfucker."

And he hit him again, and again. Technically they were off school property since they were just ten foot away from the gates, so Sebastian knew he couldn't be in any troubles for smacking the shit out of Finn. He wouldn't care anyway.

When Finn was panting and begging for Sebastian to stop, he stepped back. He touched his own face, it hurt a bit, a few bruises would probably form. He looked at Finn's face, he looked like shit. Good. He was proud of himself.

When Rachel saw him and he told her about the fight, she lectured him and told him it was wrong. But then she looked at him, with an expression of gratefulness and with so much love and affection in her eyes, he just knew he would do anything for her.

OooO

 **August 2018 - Freshman Year of College**

Rachel knocked on the door of her future apartment. She had found it on an app that helped you find roommates, and her new roommate was already here. The door opened and a small girl with two buns on her head appeared.

"Hi, you must be Rachel." She said as she let her enter.

"And you must be Hazel." Rachel answered as she walked into the apartment.

"I'll show you to your room." Hazel said.

They walked to her room and Hazel opened a door.

"Here you go!" She said with a smile. "Hey, I was thinking, since we don't really know each other, maybe we could have a talk at dinner?"

"Sure, that's a good idea." Rachel answered and she smiled at her.

"Okay, I'll let you unpack then!" And she left.

She seemed nice. Rachel hoped they could be friends. After all, she knew nobody here. She had just arrived in New York, and she just hoped everything would be fine.

She started unpacking. She was almost finished, when she saw something that was reflecting the light. She took it out of the box and recognized it immediately. The early birthday gift Sebastian had given her back in their last year of Primary School. The unicorn looked a bit dusty, but it was still as beautiful as it was the day she had received it.

Rachel smiled, thinking of little Sebastian giving her this gift. With hindsight, it was weird that Sebastian happened to have her birthday gift on him that day, especially since it was something that wasn't very light. Maybe he had kept it for days in his pocket, just in case. It did seem like him after all. He was just like that, caring and worrying all the time.

Her heart sank a little. She missed him. She had only left him a day ago, and she was already missing him like crazy. It wasn't going to be easy being here without him.

OooO

 **November 2018 - First Year of College**

Waiting for her to pick up the phone felt like hours, even though he knew it was only minutes.

"Hello?" Rachel answered with a sleepy voice. It was 1am and he had probably woken her up. But he just couldn't wait.

"Hi, Rachel." He said.

"Seb, why are you calling so late? Couldn't it wait?"

"No it couldn't." Because it absolutely couldn't. "My mom found a donor."

There was a short silence, followed by, "Oh my god, you're kidding, right?"

"No, it's true, Rach."

"Really?"

"Yes." He reassured her.

"That's amazing!" She shouted in the phone. "I can't believe it, how did Sophie reacted?"

"She's… happy. She's been singing and dancing to her old records." He said, smiling as he saw her mother who was still dancing in the living room.

"I am so happy for her." Rachel said. "When did you learn it?"

"Hmm…" He thought about it as he walked out of the living room. "Just twenty minutes ago I guess."

He walked to his room and sat on his bed.

"So you literally called me as soon as you knew?" She said.

"Of course," he said, "you're the first person I thought of, you deserved more than anybody else to know."

She really did deserve to know. Rachel had been with him since the very beginning in this. She had held him as he cried, told him to be strong and kept him hopeful. She had even been willing to give her _own_ kidney for Sophie. She was incompatible, but Sebastian knew that if she had been compatible, she would have done it.

Now, even if she was in New York, she called his mom from time to make sure she was okay.

"Thanks." Rachel said.

"Anyway, how are you?" He asked as he laid down on his bed.

"How are y _ou_?" She returned the question.

He sighed. "I'm relieved." He said. "But I still feel like the weight didn't leave completely, as if there was still a chance of this good news being false, or as if something would go wrong."

As if at any moment, things could just go wrong.

"Your mother will receive her kidney, Seb. It's really happening."

"You're right." He said.

Things would be okay, finally, things were starting to be okay.

OooO

 **May 2019 - Freshman Year of High School**

As Rachel came back from the cast party, she sneaked silently into her room. She couldn't stop smiling. Sebastian had confessed his love for her. Nobody had ever confessed their love to her, so she felt special. And it wasn't even just about the confession, it was that it had been him. Had it been any other person, she wouldn't have cared. But she was starting to think she might feel the same towards him.

When her phone rang, Rachel immediately knew it was Sebastian. He had promised her to call.

"Hey." She breathed.

"Hey." He responded. "Is it normal that I'm nervous about talking to you?" She laughed and he chuckled. "It's embarrassing."

"I think it's cute."

" _You're_ cute." He said and she smiled. "I missed our late night talks."

"We never had late night calls."

"Yes we did." He said. "When you arrived in New York, until your breakup party."

"They were hardly late night calls Seb, they were usually at 8 or 9pm." She said.

"Isn't it kind of late?"

"Not really."

"Well then this is my first late night call." He said proudly. "Well, except if you count the ones with my mom, but it doesn't really count, she's my mother."

Rachel chuckled. She felt as if she could tell him anything, she wouldn't mind. She thought about telling him something, and then she did.

"I auditioned for an Off-Broadway show." She said.

"Really, when?"

"Before the wedding." She said.

She hadn't told him at the wedding because it didn't seem important at the time.

"The performances start in July and end before the start on the school year, so I'll be able to go back to school." She said. "I probably won't even get it but… yeah."

"Don't say that Rach, you never know." Sebastian said. "You may be less experienced than people who have already graduated, but you're extremely talented."

She felt better now. Telling him about it clearly was a good idea.

"So, tell me about this role?" He said.

"It's a very small role, but I like it." She said. "I have a solo song, and I just love singing this song so much."

They continued to talk for a good hour, until they realized what time it was and Sebastian remembered about his interview the next day. It seemed right. Everything seemed right, for once.

OooO

 **May 2019 - Freshman Year of College**

Sebastian was seating in a chair next to other people, waiting for his interview. It was for an internship at the New York post. It would be for the summer, a chance for him to gain experience, and also to fulfill his internship requirement for his degree.

He was a bit nervous, he really hoped he would get this internship and he didn't want to mess up. But even if he did ended up messing up, he had a date with Rachel tomorrow, so that would cheer him up. He still couldn't believe he had told her he was in love with her. It was weird, he had always said 'I love you' to her, but now, it had a different meaning.

He hadn't seen anyone get in or out of the office. Maybe he was the first to go. After a few minutes, he heard some laughter and the door of the office opened, revealing a man and… Evan. Rachel's ex boyfriend patted the back of the man and when he met Sebastian's eyes, he threw him an icy stare.

"Sebastian Smythe?" The man said and Sebastian got up and followed him into his office.

The interview went fine. More than fine actually. Sebastian actually felt like he stood a chance.

"Tell you what, you're the first candidate I'm interviewing." The man said. "But I like you."

Sebastian didn't really know what it meant. Did he get the internship?

"We're actually looking for some part-time workers." He said. "My assistant will call you to confirm it but… I might hire you, starting in September."

"Really?" Sebastian asked. Was this really happening?

"I'll have to talk about it with my team, but… I guess you're in."

It was really happening. It was really better than anything he could have hoped for.

Sebastian thanked the man and they said goodbye as he left the office. When he got out of the building, he saw Evan, leaning against the wall. Sebastian didn't have time for that. He walked past him, but Evan followed him, walking next to him.

"Did your interview went fine?" Evan asked.

"Go away, Evan."

"You know, Pete and I are good friends, I could tell him not to hire you, and that would be the end for you."

"I don't care." He said.

He didn't know exactly what Evan wanted, it was probably in relation to Rachel. But he didn't want to know. This internship was a great opportunity, but he would choose Rachel over it any day.

"Rachel must have told you I'm a director." He said but Sebastian continued to walk. "I heard she auditioned for the next show I'll be working on."

Sebastian stopped in his track.

" _One_ word from me, and Rachel won't be cast."

Sebastian thought about it carefully. "What do you want?" He asked.

"I want you to break her heart. And I want to witness it."

"You're crazy." Sebastian said. "I'm not doing this."

"Really? You don't care about Rachel not getting cast in this now? Nor the next one? Or the next one?" Evan said. "Because I could easily make sure no casting director cast her, her career would be ruined before it even started."

It was her ultimate dream. She would be devastated if she couldn't fulfill it. He didn't want to accept Evan's proposition, he hated him so much. But did he really have a choice?

"Ok." He finally said.

"It's a pleasure making business with you." Evan smirked. "I'll contact you to inform you of how I want this to go."

Oh, how Sebastian wished he could just punch him right now. Evan started to leave, walking in the opposite direction.

"She will _never_ date you again." Sebastian said, desperate.

"We'll see about that."

Tears started streaming down his face. He had thought things were finally okay. Finally, he had trusted things were looking out for him. But no. While he had his back turned, it had all gone wrong.

OooO

 **A.N./ Well… So yes, the last part explains what happened at the end of the last chapter between Rachel and Sebastian. But it is not the end (almost, but not quite), so bare with me because I know how I want this story to end. I hope you enjoyed the chapter just as much as I enjoyed writing it (I have been waiting for sooo long to write it, I swear I was so excited), if you did, don't hesitate on reviewing, it makes my day!**

 **See you soon ;)**


	13. The Aftermath

**A.N./ Hi! It's been some time but I finally have the thirteenth chapter for you. It's a bit shorter than usual, but it makes more narrative sense than if it had been longer. By the way, it's from Sebastian's point of view. I hope you enjoy this chapter ^^.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters.**

OooO

Seeing the fallen leaves on the floor only served as a reminder of the time that has passed since Sebastian had last seen Rachel. It was already October, and saying that Sebastian hadn't spent all this time thinking of what he had said and what he had agreed to would be a lie.

The worst thing about it was probably that he had instantly regretted it. The moment he was back in his dorm, sobbing, he knew he had made an enormous mistake. It seemed so stupid now. Why did he even think that intentionally breaking her heart would be a good idea? How did he even managed to make a deal with Evan, whom he loathed deeply?

He thought about telling her everything. Multiple times. But then he reminded himself of why he couldn't. What was the point in telling her anyway? Telling her the truth seemed even worse. He couldn't even imagine himself telling Rachel that he had broke her heart because her ex-boyfriend told him to. She would hate him if she knew. She should hate him at least, because he hated himself for that.

And what for?

Turned out the guy who said he was gonna hire Sebastian hired his own nephew. At least he got the internship, so that's what he spent his summer doing, working a lot more hours than an intern is supposed to work, and for free.

Spending his whole summer in New York, he thought, he hoped, he would maybe run into Rachel. When he would be waiting for the subway, or just walking in the streets, he would look around, hoping to spot her in the crowd and tell her everything. But it never happened.

And then he decided to buy a ticket to Rachel's show. He wanted to see her so bad. The distance was too much for him. He thought that maybe it was also the guilt, maybe he just wanted to see her in order to make sure she was okay and not heartbroken. But he knew he just missed her deeply. He loved her, but more than that, she was his favorite person. At one point, he wondered if soulmates existed. He wasn't sure it was true, but if it was, then Rachel would be his soulmate, he was sure of it.

He watched her in awe during the whole show. She was amazing, always had been. He had always loved seeing her perform. It was her thing, and nothing made her happier than that. He was always happy to witness her just giving it her whole and being absolute best.

When the show ended, he decided to stick around, maybe see her. He did saw her. She was walking out of the theatre with a castmate, and she was smiling. He knew he should just be happy for her but he felt a pinching in the heart. And he should't feel that way, she was happy, that was all he wanted. But still the thought that she was happy without him hurt a little.

Nonetheless, he was the one who had put them in this situation, so thinking that was just selfish. He just… he just wanted to follow her and tell her everything and ask her to forgive him, but… he couldn't. It was like he was paralyzed, his feet stuck on the ground, feeling a small knot in his throat.

He felt like shit. He felt as though life sucked, and he deserved it.

After his summer's internship, he looked for a job. Actually he almost found one right away. It was at a restaurant, the kind that was fancy but not to expensive. On his first day, he got to meet his coworkers.

"Hey, I'm Eris." A young woman said to him, extending her hand.

"Sebastian." He said as he shook her hand.

"Oh, that's funny, you've got the same name as my roommate's friend." She chuckled.

He raised an eyebrow. "I mean, that's a pretty common name."

"Yeah, true." She said and then left.

Eris was a pretty crazy person, but she was pretty cool too. The work was pretty decent. He had enough hours, but not too much, so he could focus on studying.

His routine was simple. Everyday he would get to class, then to work, then he would come home to study. He was living with Alistair since summer, and he finally had a room for himself.

Tonight, he was watching Netflix under the covers. It was what he did most weekend nights though, so nothing out of the ordinary. Alistair and Levi opened the door and let themselves enter, watching him with worry on their face.

"Look at him," Alistair said, "he's been brooding for month."

"I know, I don't get what happened." Levi said.

He hadn't told them what had happened. Not even that he was supposed to go on a date with Rachel, and certainly not about his treason.

"It is about Rachel?" Alistair asked.

Sebastian looked at him, panic in his eyes. Did he just guessed it?

"It's Rachel, it _has_ to be Rachel." Levi said.

"And who else could it be?" Alistair concluded.

"I don't blame him though, this girl is beautiful." Levi whistled.

"Okay, can you quit now?" Sebastian asked.

Levi and Alistair stopped talking finally. Hearing her name kind of hurt.

"So… are you finally gonna tell us what happened?" Levi asked.

Sebastian swallowed hard. He felt kinda bad that he hadn't told them anything. They were his friends after all. And maybe talking about it would ease the pain just a little.

So he did. He told them about them sleeping together back in High School, about falling in love with her, about their kiss after her party, the wedding, and finally, him making the biggest mistake of his life.

After all these revelations, Levi and Alistair starred at Sebastian with wide-open eyes.

"Wow." Levi said after some time. "I don't know what to say, sorry man."

"I fucked up everything, I know." Sebastian sighed.

"Hey, don't say that." Alistair said.

"But I did, Ali."

"You made a mistake, everybody does." Alistair said. "But it doesn't have to be the end, you can fix it."

Sebastian wasn't sure of that. Actually, he was sure of the contrary. Nothing could get him out of it. Which meant he would have to move on eventually, but it hurt, to think about that. It felt like forgetting, like pretending that nothing had ever happened between them. How could he forgot about all of that? How could he, when Rachel had been such an important person his whole life?

Even if he wanted to forget about her, he couldn't. He saw her everywhere, thought of her every time. He didn't want to anyway, forget her.

OooO

Thanksgiving came quickly, and he had planned to go home, spend time with his mom.

When he hugged his mom at the bus station, he felt good. He hadn't felt like that in quite some time.

On the way back home in the car, his mom kept peeking at him from time to time.

"You should look in front of you." He said, a bit worried because she had the wheel after all.

"Sure, sure." She said. But she didn't stop.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I'm just worried about you, that's all." She said.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You seem… blue." She said.

Instead of replying to her he stared at the road through his window. It was true. He was miserable, and he just wanted to hate life because surely life had to be unfair, since it took Rachel from him. But how could he really believe that, how could he really think that life was unfair when his mom was seating beside him, healthy and radiating.

It would be almost ungrateful.

Soon enough, they arrived home. Sebastian took his suitcase to his room and went to the kitchen to help his mom cook. She smiled at him when he entered the room and started to sing.

"Cooking is always better with music." Sebastian said, being reminded of the phrase that his mom used to say to him when he was still a kid.

He joined her, trying to harmonize and failing. His mom laughed light-heartedly, taking the harmony as Sebastian took the lead again.

They ate their Thanksgiving meal together, just the two of them. That's how it had been since his dad's death. These were the moments when he missed him even more, when it hurt even more than usual. But he was also thankful for his mom who was still by his side.

The next day, Sebastian got up early, still used to wake up to get to school. He laid in his bead for a while, and he started to think about her again. He scrunched his nose. He wondered if she was here too. After all it was Thanksgiving, and her father lived here. She came back last year, he still remembered how she had surprised him. If she was here this year, it certainly wasn't for him.

But somehow he found himself walking around her block. He knew it was hopeless, but still, a glimmer of hope remained in his heart.

"Sebastian?" He heard being him.

He turned around, seeing Leroy on his porch. He hadn't even realized he had just passed her house.

"Hi, Leroy." Sebastian said, walking towards him.

"Well how are you?" He embraced him quickly.

"Good." he lied. "And you?"

"I can't complain, life is good."

Another glimmer of hope. Was life really good?

"Hey, I was wondering, is… is Rachel there?" He asked in spite of himself.

"No, she decided to stay and take some dancing classes." He then frowned. "She didn't tell you?"

There were no words to explain how bad Sebastian felt, the shame he felt while having to speak those words.

"We haven't talked in a while."

Leroy just nodded, as if he sensed that there was more to it, but he didn't want to force Sebastian to say it.

"Do you want to come in?" Leroy asked.

"I'd love to, but I have to go." He said.

He would love to sit and have a good old talk with Leroy, maybe say hi to Hiram too. But it felt wrong, to be in her house without her. As if he was breaking her trust. And he had already broke her trust way too much.

He started to make his way back to his house, walking by a park. It was the park he and Rachel used to go through when they would walk to school in the morning and walk back home at the end of the day. He entered the park, sitting on a bench. He took a deep breath of fresh air, and then exhaled.

Looking at the park, a million memories came to him. Memories from when he and Rachel where just children. Those were good memories, and some were less pleasant than others. But she was in every single one of them, and that was what made them precious.

It felt paradoxical, to be here after all these years, alone.

Someone sat next to him on the bench and he turned his head towards them. He just ended up starring at her with his mouth opened from the shock of it.

"Close your mouth, Smythe." She said, amused.

"Quinn Fabray." He breathed.

"In the flesh." She said. "It's been a while."

"Yeah." He said.

She sat next to him in silence, and weirdly enough, it felt comforting, to know she was there next to him. It really wasn't logical, he never was friends with her, he even loathed her because of how she had treated Rachel through High School. But now everything changed.

"How's life been for you?" He asked her out of curiosity.

"Pretty good. Yale is hard sure, but it's worth it." She answered with a smile. "How's it been for you?"

"Disappointing." He said the first thing that came to his mind. "I mean, it's not so bad I guess. I'm in Columbia."

"But that's not what counts, right?"

He nodded, his hands in his pocket.

"You seem changed." She said.

"As do you."

She smirked. "You know, after my breakup with Finn, I kind of had a crush on you."

He chuckled. "I don't believe you."

"It wasn't a crush, but I wanted to hook up with you." She said and he laughed. "Just a one time thing you know, to see if the rumors were true."

He shook his head at how crazy it sounded.

"But I knew I didn't stood a chance, just seeing how you looked at Rachel."

He stopped laughing. "I dated Marley." He said.

"I know. Didn't change the way you looked at her."

It seemed stupid, that he would want to argue about that. Because they both knew it, even if Rachel wasn't part of the equation, they would never would have hooked up. But still, Rachel had been there.

"I love her." He said quietly.

She nodded. And they stayed silent, watching people walk in and out of the park.

OooO

Returning back to New York felt he woke up from a dream. Not necessarily a bad or a good one, it just felt like coming back to reality after being in an alternate world. So he just went back to his habits, going to school, going to work, studying, hanging out with Levi and Alistair.

"Yo," Levi said one day, "do you believe in love?"

"Yes." He answered.

Because even if things had turned bad for him, it clearly didn't change his view on love. It just meant that he had ruined everything.

"Why do you ask?" Sebastian said.

"No reason." He answered and Sebastian threw him a doubtful glance. "Okay fine, there's this girl I've been kind of been hanging out with and… I don't know, I just really like her."

Sebastian smiled at him. "Levi, are you falling in love?"

"I…maybe, I don't know." Levi rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm happy for you, man." Sebastian said as he playfully punched Levi in the arm.

Levi just shrugged. Sebastian knew he wasn't someone who shared his feelings a lot, so it felt really important.

"You should tell her." Sebastian said.

"But what if she doesn't feel the same?" Levi asked, not sure of himself.

"Then you move on." He said. "I'm not saying it's easy, but it's better than her never knowing how you feel."

Levi nodded. Sebastian kind of felt like he wasn't the right person to give relationship advices, and he still hadn't moved on from Rachel, but he would at some point.

His life was clearly less than fascinating, but gradually, he started to get better. Sure, he still missed Rachel, still regretted what he had done profoundly. But he started to feel less guilty. He knew he had done something awful, but he was starting to accept it. Maybe he could even move on, not right now, but after some time.

Today after school, he headed to the restaurant he worked at. He got into his uniform before the evening service, heading to the main room.

And then he saw her.

OooO

 **A.N./ And… that was the end of this chapter! I know it's kind of a filler, but it was necessary before the last chapter. Hope you liked it, see you next time!**


	14. The End Of A Year

**A.N./ Well, it is time. This is the last chapter of We Keep Loving Anyway. There won't be any epilogue because I feel like it wouldn't be necessary and wouldn't add anything to the story. So yeah, this is the last piece of this story, I really hope you'll like it :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor any of its characters**

OooO

If you asked Rachel if she had ever been disappointed by people she cared about, the answer would be yes. Her mom had disappointed her. But she had apologized and changed, and Rachel had forgiven her. She had thought it would be the end of it. But Sebastian had also hurt her, in the worst way possible.

She didn't have words to explain the way she felt that day. Utter shock, sadness, disappointment. She didn't even understood what happened. One day he said he loved her, and the next told her he was wrong. And it had hurt her deeply, because she cared about him more than most people.

She still remembered coming back to her apartment and just running to her room to cry. She curled herself in a ball, sobbing, and couldn't even remember for how long she cried before falling asleep.

When she woke up the next day, she just stayed under the covers for the whole day. The world suddenly felt unsafe, as if she had been lied to her whole life. She just wanted to be wrapped in the warmness of her blanket, and to forget everything.

But forgetting wasn't an option, and she knew it. As much as she wanted to stay in her room forever, the world was still turning outside of her room.

Ben came to check up on her first. She didn't answer him, her back turned to him. She couldn't tell him, not now. Eris came a bit later. She was more insistent. But Rachel stayed her head buried under her covers.

When night came and she found herself to be hungry, she slipped out of her bed and made her way to the kitchen. Ben and Eris were both in their rooms, thankfully. After she ate, she came back to her room and slept like a baby. The following day, she woke up and started to function normally. She had bags under her eyes, and constantly had tears in her eyes, but at least she was up and moving and simply living.

She had to, anyway. The rehearsals for her show started, and she had to at least pretend to be fine. And it was such an opportunity, she didn't want to waste it, it was her first professional gig. She just learned her lines, and rehearsed and hoped she would get better.

And she did got better, eventually. And Eris kept encouraging her to put herself back out there, to start dating again. But she wasn't ready for that. She didn't even know if she'd ever be ready. When she reflected on her previous relationships, all she thought about was failure. She almost regretted letting her heart be vulnerable. Maybe she shouldn't have, after all.

Kurt had been there too, for the summer. At first, she felt guilty to have to tell him that she didn't feel good enough to hang out with him and visit the city. But he didn't take it badly. He gave her her space, and when she got better, he came to hang with her at her apartment. It felt good to have him as a friend again.

The performances for the show she was in started, and she felt so much better instantly. She was meant to do that, there was no denying. The more performances she got to do, the most she loved it. When the performances ended in August, she just felt so sad. She had become somewhat close with her cast, and she would miss performing eight times a week, that was for sure. But it was also tiring, and school was going to start soon. At least she would just have school to focus on.

Yeah, that's what she thought. Until her father called.

"I have talked with your mother and we both agree on this," her dad said, "we want you to search for a job."

"What?" Rachel almost shouted.

"Rachel, you're an adult now. You need to start to take your responsibilities."

So yeah, she had to look for a job. Which she did, but turns out looking for a job isn't as easy as people make it seem.

"You know, they are looking for new workers at the restaurant I work at." Eris told her.

"Do you think you could–"

"Talk to my boss about you? Yeah." Eris nodded. "Just give me your resume."

And so an interview later, here she was, walking to the restaurant with Eris by her side.

"This job's not too bad, you'll see." Eris said as she handed Rachel her uniform. She went to the locker room to change and joined Eris in the main room.

"Okay, so my manager told me I'm the one who's going to train you." Eris told Rachel "This is a really stupid idea, but let's go."

Rachel scanned the room to try and get accustomed to her new workplace. But before she could see the entire room, she saw him.

Sebastian seemed to have seen her before she did, his eyes were wide open. When their eyes met, he instantly turned away, looking a bit flushed.

Rachel felt something in her stomach. Was it apprehension? It certainly felt like it.

She followed Eris and listened to her as she explained how the place worked and what would Rachel would have to do. It wasn't until she saw him walking across the room that she processed the information. Sebastian worked here. She was going to work with him. Well, probably not directly with him, or at least she hoped she wouldn't have to.

She felt like she had sort of got over it. But now that she knew he was there, she didn't feel ready to face him. It felt like too much at the same time, she was just completely overwhelmed.

She started to work. Taking some orders, bringing plates, passing by Sebastian, and Sebastian passing by her. And gradually, it felt more natural. She didn't feel this uncomfortable feeling and she even started to wonder why she even felt like that in the first place.

At the end of the service, Rachel changed into her own clothes, putting her uniform back in her closet.

"Can we talk?" She heard behind her.

She turned around. Sebastian had his hands in his pockets. He had talked with a soft-spoken voice, almost as if shy.

She didn't know why she said yes, but she did. She followed him into the kitchen after every one left it and a silence settled in between them. He stood in front of her, fidgeting with his fingers. She looked at him, then at the floor.

"I..." He started.

She raised her head to look at him, and he went back to silence. It looked like he was struggling inside. She started to wonder what it was going to be about. Was it going to be about them? About how he regretted what he had done? In a way, it seemed quite egotistical to think that it would be about her. So she let that go.

"I lied." He finally said.

Her heart felt heavy all of a sudden. Lying. What could he have possibly lied about? She was about to ask him when he talked again.

"When I said that we couldn't be together, that we weren't meant to be. I lied."

Hearing all of this a second time hurt more than she ever could imagine. She had hoped that he had lied, of course. She had held onto the hope that all of this was a lie. But then she had moved on. And now, he was telling her what she had been wanting to hear. So why did it felt so unsatisfying?

"Why did you lie?" She asked.

He swallowed hard, his eyes finally landing on her.

"Evan made me."

"What?"

"He..." He took a deep breath. "He knew the person who was interviewing me, he said he was going to make me fail."

He paused for a moment.

"He also said he was going to make sure you'd never get cast."

Rachel's first clenched as she heard that. She wouldn't expect less from Evan. She had always known he wasn't a fair player. But still, she had thought _she_ was safe from his schemes.

"Why would he do this?" She asked, her voice breaking.

Sebastian sighed. "He wanted you back."

"Is this why," she asked as she remembered something, "is this why he came to my apartment the day after that?"

"He came? What did he say?"

"I... I didn't see him."

Evan had knocked on the door, and Ben had answered. When Ben came to Rachel, who was under the covers, to tell her, she told him that she didn't want to see Evan. She had heard that Ben had told Eris who was Evan and that she had insulted him and flipped him off before slamming the door in his face.

"I'm sorry. For everything." He breathed.

She wanted to be mad at him, she should be mad at him for going along with something like that. But then she looked at him, and he seemed genuinely sorry. Her look became more tender.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, I just needed to—"

"I forgive you." She said.

"What?"

He seemed shocked, but those words had just flowed naturally from her mouth.

"I forgive you, Sebastian."

Rachel smiled to him, and she left.

OooO

A few days later, Rachel was meeting with Lea to have some coffee. Lea had arrived earlier than her, and she threw her an almost cold glance when Rachel walked up to her.

"You're late, again..." Lea said.

"I'm sorry, my dance teacher wanted to talk to me after class." She said, breathless.

"Ah, I can never be mad at you anyway." Lea shrugged.

Lea and Rachel had met at the beginning of the year. They both took the same Biology class and happened to sit next to each other during the first class. Lea was a cool girl. She was just this kind of girl that didn't care about every one else thought of her. Rachel wished she was more like her, but she had a tendency to listen a lot to people's opinions on her.

Rachel noticed that Lea was fidgeting with her fingers.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked.

"Well… I'm really stressed with school, and it's also complicated with my family." Lea said.

"You can talk to me, you know?"

"I know. Right now, I don't wan't to, but I will." Lea nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Uh, yeah, I'm fine." She lied.

The rest of the day went well, and when she went to work on the next day, she felt much more lighter. She saw Sebastian and smiled at him.

"Hey!"

He almost jumped, looking surprised, but he answered, "hey", with a shy smile.

As time passed, the tension between them seemed to ease, and she finally felt comfortable around him. Sure, it still wasn't the same as when they were best friends, but still. It hurt a bit, when she was with him and would hesitate to do something, because she longed for this time when she never hesitated about doing or saying anything around him.

But still, as she exited the restaurant and saw him leaning against the wall and shoving something in his pocket, she decided to walk up to him. He raised his head when he saw her and smiled.

"Hey." She said.

"Hi."

"Did you come here to smoke?" She asked as she gestured to his pocket.

"Oh, no, Alistair called." He said.

"I know, I was joking." She said. "So, What where you two talking about?"

"He was asking me if I could buy some milk."

"At 11pm?"

"Alistair takes his nighttime cereal _very_ seriously." Sebastian said.

Rachel chuckled. It almost felt like old times. Talking, laughing, just being casual and comfortable around each other. She had a feeling this would not remain, but it did.

"I'll just buy it before going back." He shrugged.

"I can go with you." She blurted out.

The words just came out of her mouth and she didn't realized it until she said it. She wouldn't have hesitated to say it a few months ago, but now...

"If you want to." She added.

Sebastian started at her for a few seconds, startled. Then he blinked a few times.

"Yeah, sure, we can do that."

They walked in silence for a while, heading to the nearest subway station. Then she looked at him. He looked tense, as if he was nervous of saying or doing something wrong.

"Have you tried the new Thai place that opened on 76th?" She asked out of the blue.

"No." He answered. "People have told me about it though, apparently it's good."

"Yeah, I've been there, it's… it's good. You should try it sometime."

"I will, then."

They went back to silence, Rachel feeling like her efforts to turn their friendship around were useless.

"I missed you." Sebastian said.

Rachel turned to look at him, he was looking at her.

"I just missed being near you and spending time with you." He said. "I know it will never be the same and that's my fault, but I'm glad we're speaking again."

Rachel sighed. Of relief, sadness, and hope.

"I missed you too."

OooO

Months passed, and the two old friends went back to talk to each other, even laugh with each other some times. It just felt normal now. She almost had her friend back, and she was happy about it.

"Hey, Rachel." Sebastian called from behind her.

They hadn't started the service yet, so they were just getting everything ready. She turned to him and smiled.

"What's up?"

"So, my mom handed me this over Thanksgiving, and told me to give it to you." He said, seeming uncertain.

She raised an eyebrow at him as she took the wrapped gift.

"I really don't know what it is, so I apologize in advance." He said.

She laughed, a real genuine laughter.

"I'm sure whatever it is, it's amazing." She said.

She would love it no matter what, because it was from Sophie.

She opened it. It was a pink notebook with a rainbow and the words "You are amazing, you got this!" written on it. Rachel chuckled.

"This is awesome. As expected."

Sebastian laughed. "Man, I thought it would be something more…"

"Extravagant?" She cut him.

"Probably. I was gonna say 'out of this world', but it works too."

"Thank her for me." Rachel said with a smile.

"Will do." He said with a formal tone.

And they went back to work.

It felt good to have those simple moments back. To just… feel good around him, again. Days, after days, she felt this more and more. She even found herself smiling when thinking about seeing him the following day.

"Rachel?"

She turned around. Ben was at her door. He had probably been knocking and calling her name for a while. And she was holding her glass unicorn against her chest. She dropped it on her bed.

"Yes?" She answered.

"Is everything okay?" He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

She wasn't going to tell him that she was just holding an old birthday gift because she was nostalgic.

"Yep. Sure." She said. "What can I do for you?"

Ben walked up to her bed."I need some advice. And also to tell you something." He said as he sat down on her bed.

As Rachel looked at him, she noticed he was fidgeting with his fingers.

"You can talk to me about anything." She reassured him.

"I know." He sighed.

There was a moment of silence, in which Ben seemed to be looking for his words. She gave him all the time he needed.

"I… I need some advice on how to tell Eris that I'm gay." He finally said.

"Oh, you're…"

"What you're gonna tell me you didn't suspect anything?"

"Absolutely not!" She said. "Okay, maybe a little."

"I knew it." Ben shook his head.

"But it was a recent suspicion." Rachel left her finger. "Do you remember a week ago when we were walking through campus and we ran into this guy, Manu… Mao…"

"Mauricio." Ben corrected her.

"Right. So he waved at you and said hi, and you almost jumped and waved shyly and you were blushing hard." Rachel said.

"Is it that obvious?"

"That you have a crush on Mauricio?" Rachel asked. "Yes. So I figured you might be attracted to guys, but I didn't know if you were gay, bi, pan… And I didn't want to assume you were attracted to him anyway, cause there was a possibility that you just thought he was a very cool dude."

Ben nodded. "So do you think Eris knows?"

Rachel shrugged. "She's your sister, she knows you well. But you've also always been very secretive about your feelings."

Ben frowned his eyebrows.

"Do you want to tell her?" She asked and he nodded. "I haven't known her for a long time. But I would be surprised if she didn't completely accept you."

"Yeah, you're right." Ben said, determined. "Could you… could you be there while I tell her?"

"Of course, Ben!"

An hour later, Ben and Rachel were waiting on the couch. When Eris opened the door, both of them turned their head towards her.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

"Hey Eris, Ben would like to talk to you."

Eris sat down next to Ben slowly.

"So… what is it about?" Eris asked. "Is it about the missing cookies? I ate them, I know I shouldn't have lied about it, but yeah. Oh wait is it about the hole in the wall next to the bedroom? That's actually a funny story, see—"

"I'm gay." Ben said.

Eris starred at him for a few seconds.

"Okay." She nodded.

"Is that all you have to say?" Ben asked.

"Well, yeah. I'm glad that you trust me enough to tell me and all, but yeah."

Ben chuckled. " Well, that was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Now I just have to tell Mom and Dad." His smile dropped instantly. "Oh."

"Hey, listen," Eris pointed her finger to him, "If Mom and Dad don't accept you, I'll kill them."

OooO

Rachel sighed as she turned the page of her World History book. She was tired, and was really hating College life right now, but hey, she had chosen that life, so joke's on her.

"You look downhearted." Ben said as he sat next to her at the table.

"Oh, do I?" She said ironically.

"Why though? It's your birthday, we should celebrate it!"

"I work tonight." Rachel said as she sighed dramatically.

Ben frowned. "Oh, too bad." His eyes lit up. "But maybe we can still do something later."

"I finish work really late, I'll be super tired." Rachel answered.

"We can just do something between the both of us. And Eris, I guess, because she'll join us wether or not she's invited. We can just order pizza and watch a movie and have fun."

Rachel smiled sweetly. "I'd like that very much. Thank you, Ben."

Ben winked and left the room.

Later that day, Rachel was back in her uniform, her apron ironed and perfectly placed, as always. Sure, she would prefer to be celebrating this day with Ben right now, but it was okay. She knew this job was temporary, she wouldn't spend her entire life doing this and one day, she would have her dream job. And that made everything else worth it.

"Hey." She heard and she lifted her head to find Sebastian. "I just, I just wanted to say Happy Birthday." He said, a hand rubbing his neck.

"Thanks, Seb." She said with a smile.

"I… I'm sorry I don't have a gift." He said, his eyes on the floor as if to hide his embarrassment.

"Oh, it's okay, I really don't need anything." Rachel said.

He sighed and his shoulder lowered, seeming less tense. As if it was a relief.

"But I'll definitely get you something for your birthday." She said with a smirk.

"Thanks, but I don't want anything either." He told her.

"Well, too bad, because I'm still going to get you something."

He smiled, his eyes lighting up. And she smiled too. And for a moment, it was just the two of them. Two old friends standing awkwardly in front of each other, but the awkwardness not bothering them.

Rachel's eyes noticed the tip of Sebastian's ear that were colored with pink, and her heart was warm, beating a little faster even.

"I should—" She gestured with her thumb pointing behind her.

"Yeah, of course." Sebastian shook his head, composing himself. "Well I… I hope you had a great birthday, despite having to come to work."

Rachel threw him a last smile and she thought about the next gesture for a few seconds. She sighed and hugged him. He hugged her back and a warm feeling came over her. It just felt good in his arms. Like he had her back and nothing could hurt her, like nothing else in the world mattered.

She stepped back, noticing the light pink on Sebastian's cheeks, and left, heading back to the comfort of her apartment. When she opened the door and was met by her two roommate shouting "surprise" at her, she almost jumped.

The letters of 'Happy Birthday' were sticked on the wall and streamers were hanging down the ceiling. Tears started to form in Rachel's eyes.

"Happy Birthday Rachel!" Eris said as she hugged her tightly.

Ben joined in the hug and Rachel closed her eyes, the tears finally strolling down her cheeks. She was truly lucky, and she knew it.

OooO

After spending a few days with her family for Christmas, Rachel had to get back to New York for the New Year's Eve. She wished she could just enjoy this great day in this great city, like she had done the previous year, but no, she had to work again. It was okay though. She knew her parents were right, and she had to start having some responsibilities.

"Hey!" She said to Sebastian as she saw him enter the kitchen.

"Hi, Rach." He said, frowning after the lost nickname passed his lips.

It just sounded like it came out naturally, and Rachel's lips formed a smile despite herself.

"Well, since you're there, at least I know I'm not going to be bored tonight." Sebastian said.

Rachel laughed. "I won't be too bored either I guess."

"Oh, by the way," Sebastian said as he reached in his pocket, "I did have a birthday present for you."

Rachel looked up at him. He looked nervous.

"I just didn't know if it was appropriate or not for me to give it to you and I… Anyway, here it is."

He opened his hand and revealed a necklace with a small crystal-like pendant.

"A unicorn." She breathed out.

"Yeah, I just thought I should help you continue the unicorn collection."

Rachel felt her cheeks warming up and she turned around quickly as she realized it.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I just…"

"Do you want me to put it on for you?" He asked.

"Oh, yes, thanks." She said.

She felt him get closer to her and the cold silver chain on her skin. His hands lightly brushed her neck as he fastened the necklace. She turned around.

"Thank you so much, Seb." Rachel said, holding the unicorn pendant between her fingers.

"Well I'm just glad you like it." Sebastian said.

"I love it."

He smiled and nodded and they both went on to start their shift.

Turned out it wasn't the most awful shift after all. But midnight was approaching, and Rachel did wish she could be with her friends at this moment.

"Yeah… I know Ali. I'm not… okay." She overhead coming from the kitchen.

She entered the kitchen and saw Sebastian hanging up.

"Oh, sorry if I disrupted you." She said.

"No, you weren't don't worry." He shook his head. "It was Alistair. He just wanted to make sure that I wouldn't flake tomorrow."

"Are you two doing something tomorrow?" She asked innocently.

"No, I—" He stopped, his eyes looking at his hands. "I'm… I'm going on a date."

"Oh." Rachel eyes opened wide, her whole body frozen.

"I don't even know the guy, Alistair just arranged it and I don't really—"

"That's cool, I hope you'll have fun." Rachel nodded as she tried to appear the most natural she could, even though she felt a heavy sensation on her heart.

There was a pause, a silence. Rachel didn't know what else to say, and she just hoped Sebastian would have something to say.

"I don't even want to go on a date with him." Sebastian said.

"Well you haven't met him, so that does make sense—"

"No, I mean I don't want to go on a date with him, or whoever I meet."

She feared the answer to that question but still, she asked "Why?"

"Because I love you."

Her breath got caught in her chest as she heard those words.

"I know it might be a bit too much, maybe I should have just told you I like you, but… The truth is I still love you."

"Alright." She said and she turned around, walking away. Because it felt unreal, and she remembered the disappointed, but…

The countdown shouted by the patrons sounded so far away…

"Ten! Nine!"

But she turned back and walked up to him, resolve in her eyes.

"Sebastian, can I kiss you?" She asked.

He looked out of words, but he breathed out "yes".

"Two! One! Zero!"

Her lips touched his softly, sweetly at first. His hands came on her waist to hold her closer, intensifying the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, a lost familiarity that she had missed. But it felt new. It was new.

They parted, out of breath. Rachel's eyes were sparkling as she tried to catch her breath.

"I love you too, by the way."

OooO

 **A.N./ Well, that's the end. I can't even express how I feel about this story ending. It was by far the one that I worked the hardest on and the one I am proudest of. I want to thank each one of you who has read, favorited, reviewed or follow this fanfic 3 .This also marks the end of me writing on this website, so that will be my last fan fiction. It was fun, and along the lines I also learned a lot and found the confidence to create my own characters and worlds. Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this story as much as I love writing it, if you could review it it would mean the world to me!**

 **Thank you again!**


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